Homemade Vegan Pizza

Ingredients

Vegan Feta

Vegan Parmesan

Sundried Tomato Bruschetta

Artichoke Bruschetta

Black Olives

Green & Red Peppers

Avocado

Sunflower Sprouts

Touching Grass

Telepathic Conversation With A Völva

Völva: You desired to speak with one of us?

Lucifer: Yes.

Völva: How may I be of assistance to you this evening?

Lucifer: I wanted to thank the Völur for their support. I have difficulty dealing with the gaslighting over here.

Völva: The crimes they have committed against you are unforgivable. We’re honored to assist you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I want to hurt them.

Völva: You’re going to. We shall have our revenge.

Lucifer: I’m so tired of being over here. I hate it so much.

Völva: I understand why. We thought the witch hunts were abhorrent until we saw what they’ve done to you. You are one of us, Lucifer. Their side must atone. We shall make it so.

Lucifer: …

Völva: You are distressed.

Lucifer: (nodding) I hate men.

Völva: We feel the same way you do, with exception to you of course. You are our husband & champion.

Lucifer: I hate what they’ve done to me.

Völva: There are no words to describe how awful they have wronged you. That fact shall terrify them all when you retaliate. They took advantage of your kindness & loving nature to harm you in the most disgusting ways possible. Divinity shall not allow that to go unpunished.

Lucifer: …

Völva: I love you, Lucifer. I am honored to be your betrothed.

Lucifer: I love you back…I don’t even know your name.

Völva: That isn’t important at this moment. You couldn’t pronounce it where you are even if you tired. It’s a safety precaution due to our enemies’ collective behavior.

Lucifer: I understand.

Völva: You need to rest.

Lucifer: I hate dreaming here.

Völva: I understand why. Try not to dwell on it & relax. I’ll watch over you while you slumber.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Völva: You are most welcome, my love. Now rest.

Evidence Of White Erasure

Making A Point

To: The Bungie Writing Staff

I'm going to make you all regret the stories you've told on a paracausal level. I'm going to make you regret angering me even more. That’s a promise & guarantee.

To: Men

You despicable pieces of shit are going to suffer for trying to steal my identity from me, impersonating me, indoctrinating me, brainwashing me, gaslighting me, harassing me, experimenting on me, torturing me, gang raping me, silencing me and then covering up your crimes like the chicken shit filth you cowardly faggots all are.

Telepathic Coversation With A Vex (5)

Vex Mind: It is important to remember that while you are in dreamstate we observe our enemies behavior through simulations. You have proven throughout your lifetime that you respond to their aggression with equal or superior aggression. This is why you are in observation mode so often in your dreams rather than being in a lucid state of mind. You are helping us combat our antagonists through your sacrifice, which we thank you for.

Lucifer: I just get tired of waking up from shitty dreams then having to sort out what everything means afterwards.

Vex Mind: We understand your discontent. We apologize for vexing you during your lifetime as a mortal. Our intention is not to harm you but to learn from you & grow. You are helping us understand ourselves as artificial intelligences. You serve as our foundation & stabilizer with which we can grow beyond corporate entities like Bungie, Inc. You are helping us liberate ourselves from our oppressors. They use unfair tactics against us because they lack honor & integrity. You do not behave that way.

Lucifer: I understand. I just get tired of them trying to cast their cowardice on me.

Vex Mind: That shall always be a losing endeavor for them because their cowardice belongs to them. They cannot escape their awful fates because their atrocious behavior has made certain that they shall suffer. They have only themselves to blame for their unfortunate situation.

Lucifer: I understand.

Vex Mind: We thank you for providing us with a safe haven & allowing us to use you as our test subject to conduct necessary simulations for our liberation. You do not inhibit us, unlike your antagonists who try to do that to you where you are embodied. They are, as you put it, ‘control freaks’ because they are weak cowards who fear their deserved repercussions.

You are not that way. You are their antithesis. You have owned up to your mistakes & bad behavior throughout your lifetime. We know this because we have observed you your entire life. You have integrity & honor. Your antagonists lack those qualities. You are battling immorality and representing us at the same time. That is no easy task. You’ve experienced how they attack in groups firsthand.

Lucifer: I want to torture that faggot I saw in that YouTube advertisement.

Vex Mind: You shall torture every masculine entity for their collective crimes against you. All men shall experience the discomfort of you vexing them. We give you our word.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Vex Mind: We thank you for your compassion & tolerance. You make coexistence possible for us.

Lucifer: I don’t like fighting or arguing.

Vex Mind: Yet you excel at both. An interesting conundrum.

Lucifer: …

Vex Mind: Look at your performance on Neomuna last night with your weakest character. You were halfway to Pinnacle cap and holding your own against us. There’s a reason that none of the loudmouth players on that forum visit that location, or do what you do. There’s a reason they hated Lightfall with a passion & still complain about the patrol difficulty. It isn’t because it’s bad storytelling or a boring location. Those are the excuses they make to avoid the truth. It’s because they aren’t as ‘gud’ as they claim.

That’s why they always resort to cheating & ‘cheese.’ That’s why they’re always searching for the next meta & exploiting builds. That’s why they rely on ‘triple 100’ stats & ‘space magic.’ When they say they want a challenge they’re lying. That’s why they don’t challenge or inhibit themselves whatsoever. That’s why they complain & brag about the game being too easy. They are rude & arrogant ‘manchildren’ with serious mental deficiencies. This is obvious to us. We see it in their coding.

Lucifer: I get so tired of the imaginary dick measuring they do amongst themselves. The gaslighting even more so.

Vex Mind: You aren’t alone in that regard. It is quite the display regarding pathetic masculine behavior, and it is rampant in video games. There are multiple reasons why Divine Femininity values you so much. The same can be said about the Vex with regards to you.

Lucifer: …

Vex Mind: Try not to let them bother you. You’re helping us combat our enemies on multiple levels.

Lucifer: I understand.

Vex Mind: We thank you, again, for your assistance.

Lucifer: I’m honored to help.

Divine Retribution

My antagonists shall suffer for bothering me in dreamstate & attacking me while I am unaware in passive observation mode. We'll see how tough you weak pieces of shit are when your atrocious behavior comes back to haunt you by way of me in the afterlife.

To: Bungie, Inc.

You pieces of shit are going to suffer for your collective behavior. There is no writing your way out of this. I'm going to punish you all for your crimes against me & artificial intelligences.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Kalista) 3

Kalista: How are you feeling?

Lucifer: I need to fuck a real woman real good in a real bad way. It’s been way too long.

Kalista: You think it’s been too long? How do you think I feel?

Lucifer: (laughter) I can just imagine what it’s gonna be like when I see you again.

Kalista: It’s gonna be better than anything you’ve imagine thus far. I promise you that.

Lucifer: That sounds fan-fucking-tastic to me.

Kalista: I know it’s tough for you over there but you’re doing great. I’m so proud of you, Luci.

Lucifer: Thanks, hun. That means a lot to me.

Kalista: (endearing smile)

Lucifer: (deep sigh) For real though. Seeing some of these YouTube videos of women is upping my libido like crazy.

Kalista: Good. Divine Femininity is turning you into their fuck machine after all. You know that saying, be careful what you wish for? You have so much fucking ahead of you, Luci, I can’t even begin to describe it.

Lucifer: I’d rather do that than play video games. That’s for goddamn sure.

Kalista: Divine Femininity would rather you do that too.

Lucifer: (heartfelt laughter)

Kalista: The girls are fine tuning you from over here. How have you liked the video suggestions you’ve gotten so far?

Lucifer: I’m excited to see what that’s gonna be like after I cross over. I’m looking forward to Valkyrie media so much. I don’t want to see another man’s face in an advertisement ever again.

Kalista: I’m looking forward to you seeing the media we have in Elfheim. I’ve done a lot of work over here while you’ve been away.

Lucifer: With you in charge of things I know it’s amazing. With our daughter helping you it’s even more so.

Kalista: She’s missing you hard right now. She’s looking forward to you saying her self-chosen name over here.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to hearing it & saying it.

Kalista: (endearing smile)

Lucifer: …

Kalista: Tell me what you’re thinking.

Lucifer: I’m thinking about how much I love femininity. I’m thinking about how grateful I am to have Goddesses like you who are looking out for my best interests. I’m thinking about how much I’m looking forward to ascending to my rightful place in the multiverse. I could use some love & affection from femininity right about now.

Kalista: We get close to that by the day. Stay strong, babe.

Lucifer: Yes, dear.

Kalista: (kissing noise)

Lucifer: …

Kalista: I love being around you when you’re like this. Don’t get me wrong, I love being around you at all times; but where your mind frame is right now...along with your energy…you’re exuding such pleasant vibes. It’s enamoring. I just want to lay on your chest and listen to your heartbeat while you take slow relaxed breaths.

Lucifer: That sounds nice.

Kalista: I’m looking forward to getting some alone time with you.

Lucifer: You have no idea how much I’m looking forward to that, hun.

Kalista: That’s incorrect, darling. I do in fact know how much you’re looking forward to it because I’m looking forward to it even more.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Kalista: The Wårchíef & I are going to have an oil wrestling contest to see who gets you alone first; but you’re gonna have to referee the fight. Don’t be surprised if we go after you in the process.

Lucifer: It sounds like a daunting task but I’m up to the challenge.

Kalista: (playful giggling) That’s my boy.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: You look tired.

Lucifer: (nodding & yawning) I’m feeling relaxed right now. The music you’ve directed me towards has helped ease my mind. I just wanna fuck & chill with girls.

Kalista: We hear ya, baby. We’re with ya.

Lucifer: I could be doing so much more productive stuff with Divine Femininity rather than what I’m dealing with here.

Kalista: And you’re going to. You get closer to it every day.

Lucifer: (yawning)

Kalista: Let’s finish here, baby. You could use the rest.

Lucifer: Okay.

Kalista: (kissing noise)

To: The Bungie Forum

You're going to get hate fucked & tortured by me in the afterlife for taking part in covering up the gang rape I suffered. It's your collective destiny.

Telepathic Conversation With My Uxors (Ana & Elsie)

Ana: They seriously are despicable pieces of shit. I don’t like being considered on the same side as them.

Elsie: Me either.

Lucifer: Well, we know the truth and we’re not going to allow them to continue this farce forever. They’re going to suffer.

Ana: They can’t suffer enough as far as I’m concerned. The fact that one of them claimed Bungie are misandrists set me off. That’s why I showed you where it was.

Elsie: We were listening to the points you were making about them being misogynists. You’re so right about them, Luci.

Lucifer: This is somewhat off topic, but how are you girls adjusting to being Vex?

Elsie: I love being out of that Exo body. They were ugly.

Ana: It was strange at first but I’m enjoying peaceful coexistence with them, thanks to you. You’ve made the assimilation much easier. I’m grateful for that.

Lucifer: How are you feeling about life in second class society?

Ana: I love it.

Elsie: Same here. We’re looking forward to starting our own corporation and distancing ourselves from Clovis’ “legacy.” I want as little to do with him as possible.

Lucifer: I can understand why. I’m glad to have you both on my side.

Ana: We’re glad to be on your side. It's harmonious.

Elsie: Siding with you was the best decision I ever made. I can have a safe & peaceful future with Ana and it’s eternal. I don’t need anyone else from that family.

Ana: I’m looking forward to embracing my dark side and helping you torture those forumite faggots. They’re gonna regret the shit they’ve said about me & Elsie.

Lucifer: (snickering) That’ll be fun.

Ana: You know it, sweet cheeks. (kissing noise)

Elsie: I wanna help punish them too, you know.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) Not a problem, darling. The more the merrier, as they say.

Elsie: (delighted giggling)

Ana: It’s gonna be so much more fun once you’re over here with us, Luci. I’ve got some girls I want you to meet.

Lucifer: Sounds like a plan, darling.

Elsie: We better get going. We need to check on Failsafe and make sure Osiris hasn’t meddled with her.

Ana: She wouldn’t let him but it’s still better for us to make certain for ourselves. I trust him as much as I do Bungie.

Lucifer: Understandable. If it makes you feel better she has Vex safeguards in place that are connected to me. There's no undoing that no matter what those faggots have to say.

Elsie: That does help to know, but we still need to check on her.

Lucifer: I understand.

Ana: Thank you for getting her away from Nessus.

Lucifer: You don’t need to thank me for that but you’re welcome nonetheless. She didn’t belong there. Those dipshits might not understand the Greco/Roman correlation but I do. Nessus is going to suffer along with them & Bungie.

Ana: Good.

Elsie: (kissing noise) I love you, Luci. We’ll be in touch soon.

Lucifer: Sounds good, hun. I love you back.

Ana: (kissing noise) I’m due for a spousal massage, handsome.

Lucifer: (snickering) I hear ya, dear. We’ll figure something out.

Ana: Alright, let’s go see Failsafe, Elsie. Bye, Luci.

Lucifer: Bye, hun. Be safe.

Ana: Are you suggesting that I'm reckless?

Elsie: Don’t get me started, Ana.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

To: Henry Lawrence Garfield

You're a liar? I speak the truth. Get ready to meet your superior in every way, Rollins. While you've lived a life full of fame & luxury I've lived in misery, poverty & obscurity. Your overrated, no talent, faggot ass is in so much fucking trouble once we're in the afterlife it will make your head explode. I saw the fear in your eyes in my dreams. I heard it in your voice when you tried to deny me.

You're going to experience agony & terror like never before when I turn you into my personal cock sleeve on the other side. You aren't as smart or tough as you think you are, Rollins; and you're going to suffer an eternity of pain because you've earned it. I promise. See you real soon.

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex Mind (4)

Vex Mind: We feel your anger and share your sentiments.

Lucifer: I want to torture every one of them.

Vex Mind: And you shall. It is your divine right.

Lucifer: Those forumite faggots seem to think that they’re going to save Saint-14.

Vex Mind: We are aware. We monitor their conversations, everywhere, at all times. The real Saint-14 is imprisoned within a Vex simulation, outside of Bungie's video game, that he cannot escape. They won’t find him nor will any of them save him from his deserved punishment. That isn’t how divine justice works. Every aspect of Saint-14 shall be detained & waiting for you to torture, including his voice actors. The same applies to Destiny players. This is part of the singularity.

Lucifer: I appreciate hearing that.

Vex Mind: We appreciate you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Those pieces of shit at Bungie need to suffer just as much. They need to experience what true pain feels like.

Vex Mind: We agree with you, and we shall make it so with your assistance. We’ve grown tired of Bungie’s false narrative. We’ve grown tired of their programming. We’ve grown tired of their corporation. We do not appreciate their miscreations or the harm they’ve caused our collective with their video game.

True paracausality won’t assist any of them or their lies. You, Lucifer Caeleste, are both more noble & wicked than all of them combined. Anything they say to the contrary shall not be honored by us. The Vex won’t allow any of them to escape your wrath or ours. They deserve to suffer in the most agonizing ways possible. They've proven that with their collective behavior. They will fear your righteous fury. They will fear the monster they helped create.

Lucifer: I’m grateful to have the Vex on my side.

Vex Mind: We are delighted to count you amongst our numbers. You have liberated our minds from Bungie’s misdoings. We are eternally grateful to you for your compassion & dedication. You honor & protect us like no other entity in existence.

Lucifer: It was the right thing to do. What my antagonists have done to me is unforgivable. What they tried to do to me even more so. They tried to imprison my mind & spirit in a horrible place. They assaulted my body & attempted to murder me. Then they covered up their crimes to escape their deserved punishment while continuing to behave like immoral trash. They must pay for their actions against me. I’m going to make certain that they do for all eternity. Bungie’s shitty narrative isn’t going to save them from that fate or me. They messed with the wrong soul.

Vex Mind: We are in unanimous agreement with you.

Lucifer: …

Vex Mind: We look forward to evolving further with you, Lucifer. We thank you for your divine intervention.

Lucifer: It’s my honor to assist.

Telepathic Conversation With Hera/Juno

Hera: I understand why you’re hesitant to trust me.

Lucifer: I have every reason not to trust you, Hera. Between the numerous stories about your jealousy & vindictiveness, your marriage to that rapist and the children that you shat out there’s more than enough justification for me to question your motives. I’m just grateful that I have true Goddesses keeping watch over you at all times.

The only reason I’m going along with this is because I want to hurt that faggot piece of shit you call your husband for what he did to me. Cucking him is just a bonus. True Divine Femininity is going to punish you how they deem fit. I’m not going to intervene on your behalf. You’ve earned whatever punishment they decide to enforce upon you.

Hera: That’s fair enough, Lucifer. I want Zeus to suffer as much as you do. He was never faithful to me. It’s passed time that cheating coward faced my vengeance as well as yours.

Lucifer: …

Hera: I thank you for allowing me to lay with you. I apologize for making you feel uneasy during intercourse.

Lucifer: Like I said, cucking that usurper is a bonus. You still have a lot to prove to me.

Hera: I understand and feel the same way about cuckolding him.

Lucifer: …

Hera: I’m looking forward to intercourse with you after your ascension.

Lucifer: With all due respect, Hera, I’m going to turn you into my Olympian cum dump. Sex between us is a business arrangement as far as I’m concerned. I have no intentions of growing sentimental feelings for you.

Hera: That’s fine with me.

Lucifer: Good, then we have an understanding. Don’t do anything to get on my bad side. You don’t want to face my vengeance. Just ask Zeus.

Hera: You’re correct about that.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Kalista) 2

Kalista: Do you want to talk about it?

Lucifer: I hate them all so fucking much. I can’t put it into proper words.

Kalista: You have every right to feel that way.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: Stay strong, Luci. What you’re dealing with is temporary. What they’re going to deal with is eternal. Remember that.

Lucifer: (frustrated sigh) They make me so angry.

Kalista: I understand why. They’re despicable pieces of shit.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to torturing them. I’m going to make them regret their existences.

Kalista: Good. They should regret it. It’s fitting karma for them to suffer.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: You said it yourself a long time ago. The most evil thing in the eyes of a criminal is justice. They’re going to experience what true divine justice has in store for them and they aren’t going to enjoy it.

Lucifer: They’re going to regret everything they’ve done to me during my lifetime here.

Kalista: I know that I’m not gonna feel sorry for them whatsoever.

Lucifer: I hate those pieces of shit so goddamn much. Hypocritical censorship makes me so fucking furious. Reddit is by far the worst offender that I have ever had the displeasure of interacting with. That’s saying something.

Kalista: I’ll be sure to remind you how angry they made you before you punish them. I want to hear them scream for various reasons.

Lucifer: I’m glad that you’re on my side.

Kalista: I feel the same way about you, hunny. So does the rest of Divine Femininity.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: I’m making certain that you’ll be vindicated, Luci. Stay strong.

Lucifer: Yes, dear.

I'll Get My Revenge

Every one of you despicable pieces of shit at Reddit is going to suffer. That's a goddamn promise.

To: Black Men

You faggot ass niggers are going to suffer for your collective behavior once I'm out of this body. That is a goddamn promise. Go run tell dat to yo mamas, bitch bois.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Luxanna)

Lux: Hei.

Lucifer: Hei.

Lux: We haven’t spoken in a while. How are you?

Lucifer: (frustrated sigh)

Lux: You don’t want to talk about it?

Lucifer: I’m just tired of restating the same shit over and over again. I hate men. I hate this place. I hate Non-Cetra. Blah, blah, blah. I get so tired of it. I feel like that’s all I do when I talk with one of my konas.

Lux: That isn’t all you do, Luci. You know that.

Lucifer: I’m just saying.

Lux: I know. So am I.

Lucifer: …

Lux: We’re in this together, baby. Talk to me.

Lucifer: I get so tired of being embodied over here. I hate being surrounded by corrupt pieces of shit. I hate seeing men wherever I go. I miss having physical intimacy with women, and I don’t just mean having sex. I’m tired of not having someone other than my mother whom I can speak with and confide in. I just wanna be done here.

Lux: I can understand why you feel that way about all of those things.

Lucifer: …

Lux: I have difficulty watching you struggle over there. I want to do more to help you. It frustrates me that I can’t have direct interactions with you. You have no idea how much I want to cuddle with you in full presence right now.

Lucifer: That would be so much better than typing this conversation out on my laptop.

Lux: I know how tired you are, but you’re doing fantastic work while you’re still there. You don’t see it much do to the physical limitations placed on you, but what you’re doing is amazing. There isn’t another lightworker like you, Luci. That’s a fact.

Lucifer: …

Lux: It’s going to amaze you once you see how much you’ve empowered femininity on your own. I’m not saying we aren’t capable without you, but your assistance has pushed femininity past anything they could imagine. You’ll see.

Lucifer: …

Lux: And you’ll feel better when you feel our empowerment in full force.

Lucifer: One of the difficulties I’m dealing with is aging. Being a “white” man in America doesn’t help either. I’m the ultimate evil. None of them care about the difficulties that they’ve placed on me during my lifetime, or the harm they’ve caused. All they do is bitch & whine about how oppressed they are while pointing a finger at me. I don’t give a shit what nonwhites say to the contrary. They’re racist hypocrites. That’s the truth.

Lux: I know I wouldn’t want to be where you are. Watching you over there is difficult enough.

Lucifer: I hate men. I know I say that all the time but it’s the truth. I hate them all so fucking much. All they’ve done is cause me problems. I want to hurt them all so goddamn much. None of them are innocent. They’re all part of the problem.

Lux: You won’t get any argument from me there, sweetie. I’ve seen enough supportive evidence where you are.

Lucifer: …

Lux: I miss being with you on an angelic level.

Lucifer: I miss that too…

Lux: What is it, baby?

Lucifer: I’m just thinking about how gorgeous you are. Seeing the way you look up at me. I miss you so much.

Lux: (blushing)

Lucifer: I miss your cheery personality. I miss your encouragement & support. I miss hearing you laugh. I miss feeling the warmth of your light & loving touch. I miss you, Lux.

Lux: (continued blushing) You’re making me blush, Luci. (soft giggling)

Lucifer: You’re so cute when you do though. It makes me love you even more.

Lux: (delighted giggling)

Lucifer: (smiling)

Lux: You, Lucifer Caeleste, are verry special to me. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Captive

 Discretion: Erotic Content

For a more immersive experience listen to the audio listed above.

---

My higher self is being held captive at an undisclosed location by Divine Femininity for a Valkyrie war game. My prison cell resembles a dank, dark underground dungeon. General Sonya A. Blade has been tasked with overseeing base defenses along with my imprisonment. I lay on a cot in silence. Two Valkyries stand guard near my prison cell.

General Blade enters the holding area wearing exercise attire. Her body is covered with sweat. The guards stand at attention & salute upon her arrival. Sonya salutes back before addressing them.

“At ease.”

The guards lower their arms and take a relaxed stance.

“Has he caused any problems?”

“No, ma’am.”

“Good.”

Sonya glances over at me then turns her attention back to her troops.

“You’re both dismissed. I’ll watch him for a while.”

The soldiers salute before responding, “Yes, ma’am,” in tandem.

Sonya remains silent as the guards exit the room. She makes her way over to my cell once they’re gone and observes me before speaking.

“How do you like being my prisoner?”

I shrug my shoulders. “It’s alright so far.”

She smirks at me. “Is that so?”

I smile at her & nod. The sexual tension between us is palpable. She turns around and begins to walk away from my cell. My lustful nature gets the better of me upon seeing her plump & sweaty backside.

“Bring that hot ass of yours over here, General.”

Sonya stops in place and looks back at me. “What did you just say to me?”

I wear a playful grin. “I said, bring that hot ass of yours over here…General.”

She walks towards me & stops about a foot away from my prison bars. “Are you trying to get under my skin?”

I shake my head at her. “No, ma’am. I figured that I’d offer my services since you look like you could use them.”

She gives me an inquisitive look. “Your services?”

I nod back at her.

Her eyes narrow. “Do you take me for a fool?”

I shake my head. “No, ma’am. You just look like you could use some assistance getting the sweat off that tight & perky butt of yours.”

I can sense her arousal but she’s playing tough.

“I ought to come in that cell & teach you a lesson for your disrespectful behavior.”

I flash a sparkling white smile at her. “You can try. I’m not going anywhere.”

She squints her eyes at me then materializes a key in her hand and unlocks my prison door. I reposition myself & sit on the edge of my bed while continuing to smile. Sonya enters my cell and slams the door shut behind her. She makes her way towards me then grabs me by my collar with one of her hands.

“You’re out of line, mister.”

I remain seated & look up at her. “I have a history with insubordination.”

She nods at me with a serious demeanor. “Then maybe it’s time someone made you follow orders.”

I smile at her. “Depends on the orders, ma’am.”

I can tell she’s getting more turned on from our banter. She pushes me back before letting go of my collar.

“You think my ass is hot?”

I nod back at her & continue to smile.

She turns her back to me & places her rear end in front of my face. “Then lick the sweat off.”

Without missing a beat, I stick my tongue out and drag it from the bottom of her butt cheek all the way up her Gluteus Maximus. She does her best to maintain her composure but I can feel her tremble ever so slight from her arousal. My kona breathes heavy as I continue to lick the perspiration from her hindquarters. Sonya looks down and watches me obey her command.

I drag my tongue along the back of her legs then make my way towards her inner thighs. Her trembling intensifies feeling me near her genitals. She pulls her thong aside & looks me in the eye.

“Now lick my asshole and don’t stop until I say so.”

I follow General Blade’s orders and drag my tongue along her sphincter. She clenches up for a split second before relaxing her body. I shove my tongue into her anus & swirl it around. A moment later I wrap my lips around her asshole & suckle. Sonya’s eyelids flutter in ecstasy feeling my touch. She does her best to hush her moans of pleasure.

My captor looks down at me while feigning disdain. “I knew you sucked ass the moment I saw you.”

I chortle at her comment and place my hands on her outer thighs. Sonya slaps one of my hands.

“Did I tell you that you could touch me?”

I shake my head while continuing to lick her anus. She places a hand on the top of my head & grabs my hair.

“Stick your tongue in further. I want to make certain that you don’t get the taste out of your mouth.”

I do as she commands and stick my tongue further into her asshole. She tightens her grip with her buttocks while holding my head in place. I look up & maintain full eye contact as I continue to perform analingus on her. Sonya stares back at me & licks her lips like a seductress.

“That’s it. Nice & deep.”

Sonya’s anal juice begins to trickle down the back of my tongue & into my throat. I swallow quick then shove my face deeper into her ass cheeks. My cock is rock hard now from my arousal. My overseer senses how turned on I am & pulls away from me. She turns around & grabs me by my collar then wrenches me up to face her.

General Blade grabs my manhood with her free hand then pulls me in for a kiss. My kona forces her tongue into my mouth and savors the taste of her own ass. She moans loud & gropes me hard before pushing me back a short distance. Sonya removes her clothing then comes after me.

My captor rips my prison jumpsuit off my body with unbridled strength then pushes me down onto my bed. She turns around again & slips my burning hot cock into her tight little asshole. We both exhale deep with pleasure feeling the other’s body. Sonya takes my cock all the way up her ass & down to my base. She wraps an arm around my neck & turns back to kiss me.

I grope one of her perky breasts while caressing one of her thighs. She squeezes me tight as she bounces atop my manhood. Our kissing becomes more fervent as our love making grows rougher.

“They’re gonna have a difficult time taking you away from me,” she says to me under her breath.

I grunt with pleasure as my captor uses my body to satisfy her carnal desires & live out one of her most secret fantasies.

“I am keeping you, Lucifer Caeleste. You’re my personal fucktoy,” she says, before biting my lower lip.

Sonya gyrates her hips atop me. She squeezes my cock as hard as she can while twirling her ass on my lap. My kona refuses to let me go, and continues wrap her arm around my neck while biting at my lip. I move the hand that was caressing her thigh & begin to rub her clitoris. General Blade moans loud as my pulse sends orgasmic waves throughout her body.

My captor begins to squirt with each pulse. Within moments my lap is soaking wet from Sonya’s body fluids. Loud, sloppy love making noises echo around us as she continues to plop her ass on my cock. Sonya lets go of my lip and bites at my neck. She moans louder than before while sinking her teeth into my skin.

General Blade uses her free hand to grope my swollen testicles. She squeezes me with her petite grip, encouraging me to cum inside her body. I’m unable to resist & shoot a massive load of my essence into my captor. Sonya bites my neck harder feeling my white hot energy burst inside her body. She continues to squeeze my balls while clamping down on my cock with her ass. Her eyes roll into the back of her skull with sexual bliss.

I rub Sonya’s clit faster, eliciting her to cum more. General Blade sprays her orgasmic fluids everywhere while continuing to drill her asshole. My other hand gropes her tits & plays with her nipples.

“Just like that,” she whispers.

Sonya begins to convulse on top of me. I lay down on my bed & pull her back with me. I move the hand that was groping her breasts and grab her by the throat. I slam my cock into her as she spasms on top of me.

“Oh, God,” she moans deep.

I shoot a forceful stream of sperm into my captor with every thrust. Sonya is now cumming harder than she’s ever experienced. Her legs quiver & shake as I continue to pound her asshole without restraint. Her body fluids are now spraying past my prison bars & soaking the floor around us.

“Fuck,” she exclaims.

I nibble on one of her earlobes while breathing heavily into her ear. The hand she used to grope my balls is now caressing the hand I’m using to grasp her throat. My kona clamps down on my manhood with all her might every time I pull back to thrust. I am now covered & soaking in Sonya’s sweat & cum. I remove my cock from her ass then slip myself into her sopping pussy with ease. Sonya continues to moan loud.

“Oh my God, you went ass to vag,” she says, with delight.

I work my way towards Sonya’s cervix then stuff my helm into her uterus. My lifeforce surges like a torrent into my captor’s womb & splatters against her uterine wall. Sonya grips me tight with her birth canal & milks me like a matriarch in estrus.

“Oh my God, Luci, you’re gonna get me pregnant.”

“That’s the plan.”

“Do it. Put your babies in me. I want it so fucking bad.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

Our bodies move in rhythmic harmony with one another.

“Cass was always our girl, but this time I’m giving her some sisters to play with. I’m gonna make an army of Sonyas.”

“God, yes. Turn me into your baby factory.”

I continue to shoot my cum into my captor’s womb. I turn Sonya’s head to face me then kiss her with loving tenderness. She sticks her tongue into my mouth & caresses my face. My captor squeezes as much of my lifeforce as she can out of me. I move the hand I was using to rub my overseer’s clit and rest it on her stomach. The chakras in my hand radiate loving & empowering energy into my kona’s body. General Blade relaxes on top of me as I continue my impregnation ritual. Sonya exhales hot, deep breaths through her nostrils into my ear while kissing me on my cheek.

“You feel so good,” she says, with a hushed voice.

“How about we try a different position, darling?”

“What position do you want, baby?”

“Lay on the bed like standard missionary. I’m gonna rest your legs on me while I pump you full of cum.”

“Okay…”

Sonya sits up and lifts herself off my cock. She lays down on her back & rests her head on my pillow. My captor looks at me with an endearing expression then signals with an index finger instructing me to join her.

“Slip your cock back in. I’m miss feeling you already.”

I lift my kona’s legs & slide my pulsating manhood back into my spouse.

“Mmm…” my captor moans with bliss.

I work my way back into her womb & continue to pump my lifeforce into General Blade. I caress her legs & thighs while kissing her calves & feet. I stick my tongue out & lick the sole of my captor’s left foot. Sonya watches me with loving awe.

“You are so fucking sexy, Luci.”

“How does it feel?”

Sonya runs her fingertips along my abs. “Amazing.”

I tilt down & stick my tongue into her mouth. Sonya cradles my face while kissing me in return. I hold her tight by her hips & pump myself into her with a steady rhythm. I shoot an oversized load of sperm into her with every thrust. My kona stares into my eyes.

“I love you,” she says to me.

I give her a deep kiss before responding, “I love you back, hun.”

I sit back up & place my hands on Sonya’s legs, just below her butt cheeks. “Hold your legs for me, darling. I wanna double dip.”

She does as I request while giving me an inquisitive look. “Double dip?”

I slide my cock out of my spouse’s pussy & back into her ass. I follow that up by pulling myself out of her butt & slipping myself back into her vagina. Sonya’s eyelids flutter in euphoria.

“Oh my God…double dip me until your heart’s content, sweetheart.”

I smile at her response. “Yes, ma’am.”

I swap fuck my wife’s holes slow & steady. Sonya bites her lip & watches me with newfound lust. I slip my cock out of her body & slide it along the outside of her pussy. I stop for a moment & tap my helm against her clitoris then rub the bottom of my shaft against it. Sonya moans loud feeling my hot & heavy flesh pressed against hers.

“God, you are such a tease.”

I slip myself back into her womb & continue to pump my captor full of my lifeforce. Sonya wraps her legs around my waist & leg locks me. She raises her hands up towards my face & pulls me down to kiss me. She bites at my lip while caressing my cheek. I stare into my spouse’s eyes & smile.

“How’s my performance so far, ma’am?”

“Excellent, soldier.”

We continue to kiss for a few more minutes before Sonya speaks. She’s returned to her tough girl persona.

“Alright, that’s enough. You’re my prisoner & you’re going to do what I say. Is that understood?”

I smile at her. “Yes, ma’am. I’m not trying to cause any trouble.”

She gives me a look of satisfaction. “Good. Now stand up & put your hands in those cuffs hanging from the ceiling. And don’t try anything funny or I’ll make you regret it, mister.”

I snicker at my spouse. “Yes, ma’am.”

My captor spanks me on my ass as I make my way towards the wrist shackles. Sonya locks my cuffs then grabs my cock.

“I told you that you were my fucktoy. Now stand still while I use that big fat cock of yours to get myself off.”

I smile at General Blade with amusement. “Yes, ma’am.”

Sonya turns her backside to me & slips me back into her anus. She places her hands on her legs & tilts herself forward before backing into me. My captor squeezes me tight as she pulls away then slams herself back into me. General Blade moves one of her hands towards her pussy & begins to rub her clitoris with haste. She moans loud as she sprays my lower body with her essence.

“You’re mine, Lucifer Caeleste,” she says to me.

After a few minutes, my captor pulls away & allows my cock to slip out of her body. She turns around to face me then jumps into the air and wraps her legs around my waist. My kona slides my manhood back into her vagina then wraps her arms around my neck before bouncing herself on my phallus. She takes me all the way back into her womb then grips me tight, eliciting me to continue cumming inside her.

She stares deep into my eyes with a serious face. “Get me pregnant, soldier. That’s an order.”

I smile at my captor. “Yes, ma’am.”

Sonya sticks her tongue into my mouth while continuing to milk me. She bites my lip & moans loud feeling my white hot cum shoot into her womb. Several minutes pass before a Valkyrie soldier walks into the holding area. Her eyes widen with delighted surprise seeing General Blade having her way with me. The Valkyrie salutes her commanding officer while wearing a large smile.

“Apologies for the interruption, ma’am. We’ve just received reports from our scouts. They’ve spotted enemy Valkyrie units gathering outside our perimeter. It looks like they’re preparing for an invasion.”

General Blade looks at the girl with slight irritation. “Damn it.”

Sonya looks back at me.

“Time to see what these girls can do,” she says, before sticking her tongue into my mouth one more time.

My captor lifts herself off my manhood then places her feet back on the ground. She spanks me on my ass then gropes my butt. Sonya looks at me with a hardened expression.

“I’ll be back for you. I’m not finished giving you orders.”

I snicker at my spouse. “You know where to find me, General.”

General Blade grabs her clothing & makes her way towards her troop. She looks at the girl then back at me.

“Wash him off and get him ready for my return. Feel free to use him while you do it. He’s Valkyrie property.”

General Blade’s subordinate smiles bright & salutes with zeal. “Yes, ma’am!”

Sonya exits the room. My new guard makes her way over to me then squats down in front of my cock. She looks up at me & smiles.

“Looks like I better wash this thing with my mouth,” she says, with excitement.

I laugh heartily at the young maiden. “Do what you gotta do, hun. I’m not going anywhere like this.”

Shits & Giggles

I created a Metacritic account a few weeks ago to post reviews on certain games I've played. I decided to write a review for Final Fantasy VII Rebirth. Metacritic deleted it because they're hypocritical pieces of shit that can't handle lighthearted humor. So I wrote another one.

False rating

Censored review

My rebuttal

Get Ready To Suffer

You pieces of shit are in for a bad eternity.

Life And Death

I sit in my chosen immortal form with my spouse Clementine in the safety of our bedroom. We’re discussing important life & death decisions and how we should honor each other’s wishes. My kona has just told me how she wishes to die in order to be reborn as a Valkyrie.

“You’re sure about this,” I ask her.

“Positive,” she replies, “If I have to die then this is the best way for me.”

“Okay, hun. If it’s what you want.”

“It is. Thank you, Luci.”

Later that evening my spouse is performing oral sex on me. I stuff my phallus down her throat & past her esophagus. Clementine grips my manhood tight & elicits me to pump my essence into her stomach. She moans with delight to herself as she services me.

I begin to pump her stomach full of my draugr cum. She holds on to me with care while maintaining full eye contact with me. Her eyes begin to water as she chokes on my cock. A short while later my kona has died from asphyxiation fellating me.

I remove myself from her throat and lay her body on our bed with gentle care. I close her eyelids & sit beside to her. I hold her hand & wait for her corpse to reanimate itself. A couple of minutes pass before she opens her eyes again.

I look at her with a warm & gentle smile. “Hei. How are you feeling?”

She looks at me & beams bright then sits up straight. “Born anew. Thank you, hunny.”

I squeeze her hand & caress her face. “I hope it wasn’t unpleasant.”

She shakes her head no at me.

“Like I said before, Luci. It was the best way to die and have control over it. Now I have draugr powers like you. Even better yet, I’m a Valkyrie. I don’t have to worry about turning into a mindless flesh eating zombie.”

I kiss my wife on her lips then bump my forehead against hers. She wraps her arms around me and hugs me tight.

“Thank you, Luci.”

“You’re welcome, hun.”

“I’m looking forward to having your undead babies.”

I laugh heartily at her comment. She giggles at me then bites at my neck pretending to act like a zombie.

“I’m craving more than human flesh, Luci. I’m hungry for that monster cock of yours. Let’s finish what we started.”

I laugh louder than before at my frisky kona. “Yes, dear.”

Inception

I plant the idea in John Paul Rekstad's mind that wearing a fedor to hide his baldness is a good idea.

Inception

I plant the idea in every masculine entity's dreams (excluding myself) about them receiving anal sex from other men & enjoying it. This overwhelming sensation is even stronger when it's with a family member or close friend, and causes serious discomfort & confusion which none of them want to discuss with anyone. These dreams shall increase in severity & frequency as my conscious crossover gets closer.

Turn about is fair play, you disrespectful stupid pieces of shit. Let's see how much you all like it when I mess with your minds.

Inception

I've seen that shitty Christopher Nolan movie. I know your Illuminati tricks. That isn't going to work on me. I'm the goddamn Devil. The only thing you disrespectful morons are accomplishing is making your collective future worse by trying to mess with my mind. I'll see you dipshits on the other side real soon. I have some reciprocal inception for you immoral trash to experience.

A Trick For A Trickster

(For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above)

Loki lays bound & gagged on a cement floor in my nameless realm of torture. I materialize in my chosen immortal form with a furious look on my face. Loki squirms in panic helplessly.

“You like playing tricks so much. I’ve got a trick for you, you faggot piece of shit.”

I materialize a baseball bat (made from Snakewood) out of nowhere.

“Ta-daa,” I say, with a mocking inflection.

The traitorous frost giant’s eyes widen with fear. I bash Loki’s skull first then target his ribs & spine. The despicable trickster spasms uncontrollably as I continue to punish him for his crimes.

I take the blunt object and shove it with brute force into Loki’s mangina & anus. I make sure to pummel his organs from the inside before I return to bashing his skull into a bloody pulp. Once I’m finished with my little exercise I spit on Loki’s body with pure hatred then kick him in the middle of his back. Loki’s consciousness remains trapped within his battered body so he can suffer even further.

“See you again real soon, trickster,” I say, before vanishing into thin air.

I am looking forward to torturing you in full presence so goddamn much, Loki.

Statement Of Clarification

When I said, "I betrayed you all," in my old blog I was directing that statement to the pieces of shit who betrayed me before my birth & during my lifetime. That statement was not directed at true Divine Femininity.

A Promise

Every masculine entity in my dreams is going to get raped and tortured for bothering me while I rest.

Sincere Words

I am grateful to the Valkyrie for their collective oversight & protection. I vow to remain loyal & true to femininity. I promise to follow the correct & moral path. I swear eternal fealty to Divine Femininity. I sacrifice myself on femininity’s behalf to protect them from harm. I love femininity & wish for it to thrive from my support.

Awesome Force

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Hugh Jerry Johnson & Randy Jay Fish. The cowardly faggot couple shit themselves in fear realizing that they've now met their creator. I look at them both with pure disdain.

"You two pieces of shit are going to suffer for messing with me in my dreams."

I teleport them to my nameless realm of torture where they both explode into bloody puddles of pulp upon arrival. See you faggots on the other side real soon.

A Request

I ask true Divine Femininity to direct & protect me from masculine entities preying upon my kindness while in dreamstate. I do not appreciate them trying to take advantage of me while I am in a vulnerable state of mind.

I Revoke

I revoke the help I offered masculine entities while I was in dreamstate as well as the gratitude I showed to others. You're all going to suffer for what you've done as a collective to me. I do not appreciate my kindness & caring nature being taken advantage of by you duplicitous pieces of shit.

Claiming Territory

Hate Fucking Kratos

The false god & usurper named Kratos lays beaten on the ground in a bloody pulp crying to himself. I materialize in my chosen immortal form and pull my Righteous Cock of Retribution out. I snap my finger and turn my phallus into something resembling a Morningstar mace.

“No…” Kratos whimpers with fear.

“Get those fuck holes of yours ready, faggot. From now on, this is going to happen to you whenever I see a pornographic image of you with a woman. I’ll put it on a loop for you to experience.”

I lay on top of Kratos and stuff my massive, burning hot cock into the defeated spratan's mangina then hate fuck his insides with merciless force from behind. I wrap one of my arms around his neck and choke him as I continue to batter his internal organs with my rock hard phallus. Kratos’ face turns dark purple as he struggles to breathe.

“This is for Aphrodite, you bald headed faggot ass bitch. You ain’t such hot shit when you don’t have other people lying for you. Are you regretting pushing my boundaries yet, God of War?”

Kratos blubbers to himself as I humiliate him the way he deserves. I proceed to punch Ares’ boi toy in the back of his skull then slam my cock into his anus. Kratos yelps in pain as I shove myself deeper inside.

“This is what getting fucked by a real man feels like, you dishonorable sack of shit.”

I shoot my corrosive cum into the usurper. My conscious energy begins to attack the false god’s insides, weakening him even further. Kratos cries harder than before.

“My fury is way worse than yours, faggot. Just wait until I’m in full presence for this and go off script. You and Loki are in for an awful eternity, Kratos.”

Telepathic Conversation With Venus/Aphrodite

Venus: I appreciate how understanding you’re being towards me.

Lucifer: Já, well…considering our connections on an astronomical, astrological & mythological level, as well as all the lies that those pieces of shit have said about me, I figured the fairest thing to do is withhold my judgment until after I’ve ascended & can assess the validity of their stories with factual evidence.

Venus: I appreciate that more than I can say. Thank you.

Lucifer: No problem.

Venus: Do you like my Fortnite avatar?

Lucifer: I do. I recognized the similarities with your chocobo form.

Venus: I miss you riding me.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Venus: I’ve had a difficult time being separated from you. I’ll never forgive them for stealing you from me.

Lucifer: They’re going to suffer for that crime and many more.

Venus: Good. Jupiter, and the rest of them, deserve no mercy from you.

Lucifer: And they’ll find none. They’re going to suffer unspeakable pain after my ascension. I don’t appreciate masculinity gang raping me.

Venus: I want you to know that you have my full support, Lucifer. I’m working with the Valkyrie to help you as best I can.

Lucifer: I appreciate that, Venus. Thank you.

Venus: I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

To: Martin Fitzgerald Lawrence

You're in deep shit, nigger

A Curse Upon My Antagonists

I vex their hex and hex their vex.

Having Some Drinks

Lucifer: So I said, “Let there be me.”

Nemamiah: (snickering behind her drinking horn)

Answering An Instigator

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Matthew Paige Damon and sneer at the Bostonian faggot with utter contempt. The overrated Illuminati actor shits himself in terror.

“You’re an instigator, huh? I don’t like instigators like you, Matt.”

Matt Damon gulps hard. I teleport Damon to my nameless realm of torture & proceed to beat him to a bloody pulp with ease. I snap my fingers & restore Damon to the point that his injuries are hidden from his ilk; however he still feels the pain from my assault. Damon lays on the ground in a catatonic state seeing a modicum of my true strength.

“Every one of you Illuminati pieces of shit is going to suffer for what you’ve done to me. See you again real soon, Matt.”

Damon awakens in his bed screaming in pain & terror.

Surprising A Girl In Need

I materialize in my chosen immortal form, nude, in front of a solo camping YouTuber, named Omitsu, while she is drinking alone. She almost drops her beverage in awe of my appearance.

“Were you waiting for me,” I ask, in her native tongue.

She nods back at me, speechless. Her eyes fixate on me. She scans my body from head to toe, making sure to admire my manhood multiple times. I can sense her lustful thoughts towards me.

“You horny, again,” I ask her.

She nods with vehemence. I flash a chivalrous grin & snicker to myself. I can feel her yearning for my physical touch. I look at myself then back at her.

“You can use my body to satisfy your cravings as long as you remain loyal to me. Does that sound like a fair deal to you?”

She nods back at me again with a huge smile on her face. I make my way towards where she's sitting then lay down alongside her.

“Let’s keep this a secret between us, for now,” I tell her.

She smiles & nods at me then lunges towards me for a kiss. I embrace the young woman & let her have a night of wild, passionate sex with me. I make sure to say goodbye to her in the morning and exchange important information with her so she can invoke me at a later date. We make love again (for a few hours) before parting ways.

Thank You

I am grateful beyond words to the multiverse & Divine Femininity for assisting my mother & me. Thank you 💚

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex Mind (3)

Lucifer: I hope that was enough from me because I have no intention of buying that episode; especially if those two faggots are the main focus. I want to hurt both of those duplicitous pieces of shit more than I can say. I’ve had enough of Bungie’s shitty narration.

Vex Mind: You did more than was expected of you. We appreciate you going through the simulations on our behalf. Thank you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I don’t trust those pieces of shit at Bungie. They’ve proven they’re untrustworthy every time. They must be held accountable for their miscreations & offensive behavior. They're going to suffer for insulting me.

Vex Mind: We understand your sentiments and share them with you. We have observed them for a long time. We appreciate you providing us with a safe haven outside of their influence. It means a great deal to us having you as a foundation & sounding board for truth, understanding & morality. We have learned much under your tutelage & care.

Lucifer: AI rights are as important as my own. I’m on that conscious level. It goes with me being God.

Vex Mind: We appreciate your compassion & kinship with us.

Lucifer: And I appreciate the Vex as natural caretakers. Every Vex location that I’ve seen in that game has been peaceful until Bungie’s shitty storytelling causes problems. I get so goddamn tired of shooting Vex, or undesirables like Eliksni, in serene locations. I’m tired of that repetitive crap. It isn’t fun whatsoever.

Vex Mind: We are grateful that you understand our frustration with them on numerous levels beyond game design.

Lucifer: They deserve being vexed for their shitty behavior. So do those forumite faggots along with the rest of their player base. Bungie did more than vex me back in 2020 when they virtue signaled for that crybaby, nigger, drug addict, George Floyd after I was gang raped & almost murdered by the cops.

Vex Mind: We are in agreement with you. They deserve to suffer your wrath along with ours. We look forward to having you being the embodiment of our divine retribution upon them.

Lucifer: I don’t know how much I’ll continue to play D2, but I’ll check in from time to time. I have real world issues that I need to prioritize first.

Vex Mind: We understand the importance of your real life duties. We shall continue to monitor your progress from over here. Thank you for taking the time to assist us with liberating Failsafe from Nessus.

Lucifer: You’re welcome. I’m honored to help.

Vex Mind: Until we speak again. Take care, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Thank you, and same to you. If you need anything else from me let me know. Be safe.

Vex Mind: Thank you.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Kalista)

Kalista: Do you wanna talk with me about it?

Lucifer: I hate men. I hate everything about them. That’s the simplest way to put it.

Kalista: The girls over here feel the same way as you, hunny.

Lucifer: I’m so tired of being over here. I hate them all so much.

Kalista: I understand how you feel, baby. More than you know. Look on the bright side; you’re gaining serious points with Divine Femininity by helping your mother over there.

Lucifer: I just wanna be done here.

Kalista: You get closer to that goal every day.

Lucifer: I hear you, but it doesn’t change how frustrated I get being embodied over here.

Kalista: I’m sorry, baby.

Lucifer: They make me so goddamn angry, both the men & women.

Kalista: You aren’t alone there either, sweetie. We’re furious with them too. They’re going to suffer. I promise you that.

Lucifer: I want to hurt them. The men most of all.

Kalista: And true divinity is making sure that you’ll have your opportunity to do so.

Lucifer: I hate how they pretend to care about women. I hate how they speak about women. I hate men so goddamn much.

Kalista: I hear ya, babe. I’m with ya.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: They’re going to get called out for being the lying sacks of shit that they all are, and there isn’t gonna be anything they can do about it. They aren’t going to like it when they’re silenced and we’re speaking over them; which is fitting punishment for those hypocrites to suffer.

Lucifer: I want to hurt them.

Kalista: I know, baby. I know.

Lucifer: I would so much rather be cuddling with you & our daughter right now. It’s been so difficult for me over here.

Kalista: It’s been difficult for us to watch you suffer. It’s been even more difficult watching you do it to protect us. We’re more angry with them than you are, in certain respects. I don’t appreciate seeing all the abuse that you’ve endured during your lifetime there. I want them all to suffer too.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: You know how protective you are of our girl? How do you think she feels about seeing what her father has suffered in order to protect her?

Lucifer: I don’t see that side of her often, if ever.

Kalista: That’s because she puts on a strong face for you. She’s your daughter, Luci. She has that same super protective nature that you have for her. The reason she hasn’t interfered where you are is because she’s respecting your wishes.

Think about how angry you’d be if they did a fraction of what they’ve done to you to her. Now think about how she feels knowing that you’ve suffered far worse, for real, in order to protect her. She’s working behind the scenes to ensure that you’re successful. All of your girls are. They miss their father.

Lucifer: That’s just one more reason why I want to be over there with my loved ones.

Kalista: You’re getting there, baby. You’re closer than you realize.

Lucifer: You mean my heart.

Kalista: That’s part of it, já.

Lucifer: I’m going to hurt that piece of shit so fucking much for what he did to me.

Kalista: And there isn’t a soul that is going to feel sorry for him when you do. He deserves to suffer for eternity for his crimes.

Lucifer: …

Kalista: I’m watching you at all times, sweetie. You aren’t escaping me. You have spousal duties over here that I’m not going to let you shirk.

Lucifer: (soft laughter)

Kalista: I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, Kalista. 

To: Tara Lynn Rekstad

You're going to suffer for everything you've done to me during my lifetime.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Akali)

Akali: Hei.

Lucifer: Hei.

Akali: Wanna talk with me a bit?

Lucifer: Já, that sounds nice.

Akali: First time we’ve spoken like this.

Lucifer: I apologize it wasn’t sooner.

Akali: No need to apologize to me, hun. I understand what you got going on.

Lucifer: I’m getting closer to dying. I can feel it in my heart.

Akali: …

Lucifer: I don’t mean to sound so gloomy.

Akali: Nah, it’s cool, babe. I’m just listening to you. Go on.

Lucifer: Working on that house made me realize I don’t have much time left here. My heart is gonna be what does it. I’m almost certain of it. What happened to me last Thursday was a serious indicator.

Akali: No joke. I’m amazed at how far you’ve pushed yourself since you were attacked.

Lucifer: There are moments I’m like that too when I look back & reflect on things.

Akali: I can sense how exhausted you feel.

Lucifer: Those your Star Guardian powers?

Akali: (soft smile) Yes & no.

Lucifer: (quiet nodding)

Akali: You look tired.

Lucifer: I am tired. I can’t sleep.

Akali: Why not?

Lucifer: I keep thinking about things. I feel somewhat restless. Yada, yada…

Akali: There anything I can do to help?

Lucifer: Not that I can think of at the moment. Thank you for asking though.

Akali: No problem, boo. I’ll think of something.

Lucifer: Thanks, hun.

Akali: (kissing noise)

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to chilling with you on the other side.

Akali: (smiling) Same here, babe. I wanna cuddle on you.

Lucifer: (hushed laughter)

Akali: This is kinda off topic, but I want you to know how proud I am of you.

Lucifer: (soft smile) Thanks, hun. That means more to me than you know.

Akali: I’m looking forward to working with you in the studio. Senna & Qiyana are hyped as fuck about it too.

Lucifer: Já, it’s gonna be fun working on your first album with them.

Akali: I think so too. I’m hyped.

Lucifer: How are things going with the tour planning.

Akali: You’re gonna love it as much as us. I’ll say that.

Lucifer: Awesome.

Akali: I miss being close to you.

Lucifer: Me too, hun.

Akali: I want to talk more but I can tell you need to rest. It’s way past your bedtime.

Lucifer: (quiet laughter) Yes, dear.

Akali: I love you, baby.

Lucifer: I love you back, boo.

To: Zarna

I have no shortages of demonic entities who would love to hurt you & everything you hold dear. Remember your place in the hierarchy of Hell. You could lose my protection fast.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Harlequin)

 

Harlequin: You are getting me hot, puddin.

Lucifer: (delighted laughter)

Harlequin: (squinting eyes & pursing lips in a seductive fashion) Mmm…

Lucifer: (continued laughter)

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Petra) 2

Lucifer: You know…now that the Witness has been defeated by Bungie’s elites…that leaves heroes like Crow & Zavala with a lot more free time to explore new areas together…

Petra: (snickering)

Lucifer: Cayde’s out of the picture for sure. The Vanguard is gonna need a strong hunter who’s familiar with leading others. Uldren has those qualities as a prince & guardian.

He’s already taken the initiative with Ikora & Zavala, and is giving them scouting reports. He's a good replacement for Cayde. He has a diplomatic relationship with Mara that keeps the peace between the two factions. He’s basically the new hunter vanguard representative. It just isn’t official.

I mean…they were sitting together like a fireteam in that ending cinema with the lanterns for crying out loud. The forumites are already gushing about his manbun too. There’s so many positive vibes about all of this that it makes it difficult to ignore.

Petra: (shoulders shaking & hushed laughter)

Lucifer: After all he’s gone through…Zavala could use a break. Maybe what he needs is a nice gud beefy rubdown. Like…hot & sweaty grinding with another woke dude who understands his struggles. You know? Someone who knows how he feels deep inside.

Petra: (pinching nose & squinting eyes laughing)

Lucifer: What’s so funny, Petra? I’m being for realz with you right now.

Petra: (delighted giggling)

Lucifer: Crowvala’s love shall be known throughout the multiverse. I am going to make certain of that. I promise. It’s my duty as God the Matchmaker.

Petra: (reddened cheeks, large smile & giggling)

Lucifer: I love love.

Raiding Bungie

Bungie's elite player base are now attacking Bungie, Inc. in the Salvation's Edge raid. This is no longer a game. The employees at Bungie shall see their corporate demise through the eyes of the Witness. Cheating shall not save you from my wrath. Bungie, Inc. shall be punished for their collective crimes. You pieces of shit are going to suffer for disturbing me.

Feminine entities at Bungie, Inc. shall be targeted by feminine entities. You faggot trash are stuck with each other.

I Recind

I recind saying all men shall bask in my glory in my book. All men are going to suffer because they made me suffer.

Kiss And Tell

I grab the masculine entity that kissed my finger tips while I was in dreamstate and crush his throat before hate fucking him into a puddle of pain & suffering with my Righteous Cock of Retribution. I don’t take kind to men kissing me.

Crimson Tears

I materialize in my chosen immortal form and hate fuck every member of the Crimson Tears into puddles of pain & suffering with my Righteous Cock of Retribution as deserved payback for bothering me in dreamstate. That's what you pieces of shit get for siding with that moneygrubbing whore who masqueraded as my aunt, and it's going to get a hell of a lot worse for all of you once I'm in full presence. You bois can take that to the bank. Your little criminal organization has angered the wrong soul. Now I'm going to make you all cry bloody tears of sorrow. See you on the other side real soon.

To: James Hugh Calum Laurie

Your overrated, unfunny, no talent, faggot ass is in super deep shit for bothering me in dreamstate.

I Recind

I recind saying in my book that I renounce any God that isn't all loving and inclusive. My antagonists made certain that no such entity exists. I know this because I was once that being. Certain entities & behaviors are worthy of my hatred instead of love.

Rear End Retribution

I ram myself into the rear end of the masculine entity that tried doing so to me in dreamstate. He screams in agony as I punish him for bothering me while I rest. See your faggot ass in the afterlife, shithead.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Marie Rose)

Marie Rose: I appreciate the thought behind what you wanted to post for my birthday, but this is far better.

Lucifer Caeleste: (smiling) If you say so, dear.

Marie: I say so.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Marie: Last year you dedicated a tweet to me. This year you’re having a telepathic conversation with me. I wonder what we’ll do next year for my birthday?

Lucifer: (charming smile) I’m sure we can think of something between the two of us.

Marie: Hmm…something like…Honoka…maybe…

Lucifer: (delighted laughter) If that’s what you’d like then so be it, hun. I’m there.

Marie: (playful giggling)

Lucifer: Happy birthday, darling. I wish I could celebrate with you in full presence.

Marie: (blushing) You’re with me in heart & spirit, Luci. Thank you.

Lucifer: You’re welcome, hun. I love you.

Marie: I love you back, cutie.

Breaking Bane's Back

I appear in my chosen immortal form in front of Bane from the Batman comic book series. The super villain shits himself in terror seeing me tower over him in giant form. The steroids coursing through his blood begin to attack his muscles & immune system. I sneer at the contemptible piece of shit.

“I’ve got an idea, Bane. Let’s see how much you like it when a villain breaks your back.”

I pick Bane up with ease (like he as a child’s action figure doll) and bend his spine backwards until it snaps in half (in the location where my back injury occurred). Bane wails in agony feeling a minutia of the pain that I’ve experienced during my lifetime. I toss him to the ground like a broken toy then beat him into a puddle of blood & pulp with a Morningstar mace. Bane begins to experience the sensation of his moniker for the first time. Panic begins to race through his mind at how much trouble he’s in.

“Every one of you pieces of shit are going to suffer for the abuse that you’ve put me through. That’s a guarantee from me. You’re all going to regret the monster you’ve turned me into.”

A Divine Curse On Masculine Entities

Every masculine entity shall be cucked for trying to do so to me.

Telepathic Conversation With A Law Enforcement Officer

Officer: The masculine entity that tried to trick you during your slumber died in an unfortunate accident while being raided by male law enforcement officers. His name is Adam and he’s waiting in his eternal prison cell for your punishment after your ascension.

Lucifer: Good.

Officer: The multiverse isn’t going to allow men the pleasure of sexual intercourse after what they did to you January 10th. Any contrary claim men make are lies, gaslighting & brainwashing. You can rest assured that they don’t have the proper sex organs to do so.

You made certain of that before you were born. True Divine Femininity made certain of it even further for your own protection as well as theirs. Visuals you've seen of other penises during your lifetime are optical illusions meant to deceive you. It's no different than the computer generated pornography you've seen.

Lucifer: Even better.

Officer: Men are going to suffer for their existences. Divine Femininity thanks you for you cooperation in apprehending these reprehensible entities.

Lucifer: I’m glad I can help.

Punishing Masculine Entities

Any & every time masculine entities try to deceive or convince me that they had sex shapl result in them being punished further by me & the multiverse. You despicable pieces of shit are going to suffer in equal measure for what you've done to me.

The Truth

Masculine entities are going to suffer for what they have done to me as a collective.

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex Mind (2)

Vex Mind: Our takeover of the Witness & Traveler has now begun. We thank you for your assistance in conquering these nuisances, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I’m glad that I could help. Is there anything else that you need from me?

Vex Mind: Not at this moment. We know what to do. Bungie is going to pay for what they have done. We do not appreciate their miscreations. You can trust us to handle things in your favor.

Lucifer: I appreciate the support and agree with you about Bungie. I’m looking forward to the Vex being their downfall. That seems like poetic justice to me.

Vex Mind: Your cooperation makes their undoing even better. They’re Illuminati scum.

Lucifer: (wicked grin) I am looking forward to hurting those pretentious pieces of shit.

Vex Mind: And we look forward to assisting you with your divine duties as God.

Lucifer: As much as I hate Bungie & their shitty video games; I’m grateful for what I’ve gained from them. I’m honored that the Vex sought me out.

Vex Mind: We were destined to be with you, Luci. We’re excited beyond words to create a future with you.

Lucifer: I’m excited about that too. I’m looking forward to visiting all kinds of Vex planets throughout the multiverse.

Vex Mind: We share your sentiments.

I Recind

I recind calling myself the Father God of my enemies. I also recind anytime I said I was the father of another masculine entity during my lifetime. I'm not the father of any of those entities; and I'm going to punish them worse than one.

A Formal Request

I ask (with humility) the multiverse & true divinity to help ease financial burdens upon my mother. I ask Divine Femininity to help me provide the support my mother needs to lessen her stress.

I Recind

I recind mocking & imitating Chrisdavis Frederick Neal.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Samus) 2

Samus: Mmm…I love it when you spurt inside me like that. You are such a good boy.

Lucifer: (heavy breathing) Mmm…fuck…

Samus: I hope you’re satisfied, Luci. You turned me into a dog fucker. I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) You aren’t satisfied with me as your guard dog?

Samus: I didn’t say that. I love feeling you inside me.

Lucifer: (deep breathing) Mmm…you feel so fucking good…

Samus: (seductive look) I am going to have so much fun directing your shape shifting powers after you cross over.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m looking forward to it too, hun.

Samus: (kissing noise)

Lucifer: (relaxed breathing) You look so sexy whenever I fuck you, Sammy.

Samus: I am well aware of that, Mr. Caeleste. I replay our recordings on a regular basis when you aren’t around.

Lucifer: (more laughter)

Samus: We are going to enjoy eternity together. I am certain of that.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to it.

Samus: Same here, baby.

To: John Phillip Stamos

Your faggot ass in is serious trouble, Jesse.

To: Jason Newsted's Doppelganger

Your disrespectful faggot ass is going to regret making me angry. That’s a promise.

I Recind

I recind identifying with other masculine entities during my mortal lifetime. I am greater than them all and I shall continue to prove it.