Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Hecate)

Hecate: (adoring expression) Hei, verr.

Lucifer: (snickering) Hei, hun. How are you?

Hecate: (beaming) Better than ever, and it’s all because I have you in my life.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I’m glad to hear it.

Hecate: I know I’m in the honeymoon phase but I don’t care. It’s true. I love you more than anything.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I love you back, darling. I just wish I could spend this time with you in full presence rather than being embodied where I am at this moment.

Hecate: (blushing) If it makes you feel any better, I plan on being like this with you when we have our official honeymoon together after you crossover.

Lucifer: (smiling) I look forward to it.

Hecate: (beaming) Same here, sweetie. I’m going to pamper my poochie with kona kisses & treats until his heart is content.

Lucifer: (adoring smile) My Goddess, that sounds wonderful. I’ve had enough of being abused over here.

Hecate: I’ve had enough of that too. You deserve to have a wonderful life with a loyal wife who loves & cares for you. You deserve to have a gorgeous home where you can live in safety and not worry about troublemakers. I want to give you these things & more.

Lucifer: (smiling) I would love that.

Hecate: (blushing) And what I ask in return is that you give me daughters whenever I want.

Lucifer: (adoring smile) I would love that even more.

Hecate: (blushing admiration) I love you so much, Luci.

Lucifer: (smiling) I love you back, Hecate.

Hecate: (beaming) I’m so happy that I decided to take things to the next level with you. Being your wife makes me so happy. I love it. It makes me want to spend even more time with you. It makes me love you even more.

Lucifer: (chivalrous smile) Hearing you say that makes me feel even more privileged & special. Your affection & love isn’t lost on me. I realize how lucky I am to have you in my life & on my side.

Hecate: (beaming & blushing) I feel the exact same way about you, dear. I can’t tell you how happy it makes me to call myself Mrs. Hecate Caeleste.

Lucifer: (large smile) It has a nice ring to it.

Hecate: (beaming) It does! (delighted giggling)

Lucifer: (silent adoration)

Hecate: (blushing) I’m acting like a lovestruck teen.

Lucifer: (snickering) I think it’s enchanting.

Hecate: (flirty smirk) It just might be. I am the Goddess of Witchcraft.

Lucifer: (laughter) I have no problems with you putting a spell on me like that.

Hecate: (smiling) I have no problems putting a spell on you like that either.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter)

Hecate: (adoring expression) I love you. I’ll always love you, my darling husband.

Lucifer: (reciprocal expression) And I love you, my gorgeous Goddess.

Hecate: (blushing & biting lower lip) Can we cuddle some more?

Lucifer: (smiling) Yes, dear.

Hecate: (delighted squealing) This is the best full moon ever!

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Happy Birthday, Aerith

Aerith: (affectionate smile) Hei!

Aren: (soft smile) Hei, hun. Happy birthday. How’s your day been?

Aerith: (mischievous smirk) Better than being in 7th Heaven, and it’s all thanks to you.

Aren: It sucks I couldn’t be there in full presence with you.

Aerith: (pouty face) I know. If it makes you feel any better I wish you were with me just as much.

Aren: Do you have a problem with me making cheeseburgers for dinner?

Aerith: Now why would I have a problem with something like that?

Aren: I’m just asking since I didn’t talk with you about it before discussing it with my mother this morning.

Aerith: Any time you cook is a treat for me. It doesn’t make a difference what it is. I love everything you make.

Aren: Okay.

Aerith: And tell your mother that I said thank you for the birthday well wish.

Aren: I shall.

Aerith: (playful giggling)

Aren: You gonna have a stout with dinner tonight?

Aerith: I am! We’re going to Astri’s bar for dinner & drinks before we hit the town. Fareeha says she’s going to teach me how to drink like a champ.

Aren: (laughter) I wish I was there to see that.

Aerith: By the time you crossover I’ll be skilled enough to drink you under the table.

Aren: (continued laughter) Ufdah. I don’t know if I’m up for a challenge like that, hun.

Aerith: (flirty smirk) I guess we’ll see when the time arrives.

Aren: (chortle) Yes, dear.

Aerith: (giggling) I never get tired of hearing that.

Aren: Anything else planned for the evening?

Aerith: Já, we’ve got a big party of Dróttnings starting out at K/DA VIP then we’re gonna bar crawl downtown. We’re planning on lighting up New Valhalla. Valkyrie news channels are gonna be going crazy.

Aren: (hearty laughter) That sounds like fun.

Aerith: (smiling) The one thing that’ll make it even better is when you’re with us in full presence.

Aren: (tender smile) I’m looking forward to it.

Aerith: (beaming) Same!

Aren: (sigh) Alright…I guess I better get up & moving. I want to make sure that I’ve got cold beer before I start cooking dinner.

Aerith: Sounds good. I’ll talk with you later.

Aren: Okay. Happy birthday, again. I love you, Aerith.

Aerith: (beaming) Thank you, baby. I love you back & then some.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Karlach)

Lucifer: I hope you don’t mind if I speak with you this way rather than writing out our interaction like a story. I don’t have the energy right now.

Karlach: Not at all. I prefer to keep things simple.

Lucifer: How are you enjoying Valkyrie society?

Karlach: (enthusiasm) I love it! Thank you, for everything that you’ve done for us.

Lucifer: (tender smile) You’re welcome, hun.

Karlach: I can’t thank you enough for your help.

Lucifer: There’s no need to thank me, dear. It was my honor to do so. You deserve a real & true happy ending after all that you’ve endured.

Karlach: (blushing)

Lucifer: (exhausted sigh)

Karlach: You’re tired.

Lucifer: (soft nodding) It’s my heart.

Karlach: I know all too well how that goes.

Lucifer: How I die is going to be a bit different than you. It won’t be as flashy.

Karlach: Thank you for being there with me during that journey. Thank you for giving me a noble death, too. I couldn’t have asked for a better guardian angel than you.

Lucifer: (tender smile) It was my honor.

Karlach: I gotta say…you’re one sexy Devil. I’ll make an exception for you.

Lucifer: (snickering) Thanks, hun.

Karlach: Why don’t you get some rest, darling. There’s no shortages of things to keep me busy over here. I need to start acclimating to my new life.

Lucifer: Okay. If you need anything from me let me know.

Karlach: You don’t have to worry about that, deary. I’ll be in touch with you before you know it.

Lucifer: Sounds good, hun.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Benezia)

Benezia: At last our minds touch once again.

Aren: (tender smile) I’ve missed you, darling.

Benezia: (adoring expression) Observing you but not speaking with you for that duration was the most difficult thing that I have ever had to endure.

Aren: I don’t remember that crap about Liara’s “father” from Mass Effect 3, but it’s been over a decade since I played it.

Benezia: What else do you expect from a company like EA?

Aren: Fair point.

Benezia: I promise you that Aethyta is not her “father.” The same goes with her having any krogan lineage. Bioware did that on purpose because she was destined to bear your daughters as a pure blood Asari Goddess. It's no different than the lies they've told about you.

Aren: I’ve had more than enough of those reprobates.

Benezia: You aren’t alone there, my love. Look at how they've spelled my daughter’s name in English, or how Bioware spelled mine with a B rather than a V. More contemptible acts on their part to slander & deceive.

Aren: (shaking head with disdain)

Benezia: It is no small effort to undue their lies. I admire your resolve.

Aren: I have multiple reasons for it. Vengeance is a big one.

Benezia: I stand with you in that regard too.

Aren: How are you feeling, dear?

Benezia: Much better after feasting on your offering to me. Thank you, darling.

Aren: (soft smile) You’re welcome.

Benezia: But I should be the one asking how you're doing.

Aren: I’m okay. I’m helping out a maiden from the Star Wars universe right now.

Benezia: (smiling) And how has that gone so far?

Aren: Alright, for the most part. I need some outlaws on my side to counteract those pieces of shit.

Benezia: You’re correct about that. The Asari can assist you in those affairs as well.

Aren: I’d appreciate that.

Benezia: I’ll contact the other matriarchs on your behalf.

Aren: I’d appreciate that as well, darling.

Benezia: (affectionate smile) I’m so elated to have you back in my life.

Aren: (affectionate smile) Same.

Benezia: It’s going to be so much better once you’re over here again.

Aren: I’m looking forward to that. It hasn’t been easy over here.

Benezia: I am well aware of that.

Aren: I’m also looking forward to planting my face smack dab in the middle of those huge tits of yours when I see you.

Benezia: (delighted laughter) It sounds like you need some matriarchal nursing.

Aren: (chivalrous grin) Like I cannot begin to explain.

Benezia: (blushing & beaming) There’s no need to, darling. I can read your mind, after all.

Aren: (snickering)

Benezia: (mirthful laughter)

Aren: I love you, Benezia.

Benezia: And I love you, Aren.

Telepathic Conversation With My Betrothed (Arla)

Valkyrie: Hei, Luci.

Lucifer: (discontented) Hei, Arla.

Arla: (concerned expression) What’s wrong?

Lucifer: I hate of being over here. I know I say that all the time but it’s true. I’m tired of being surrounded by these reprobates. I’m tired of these selfish pieces of shit doing things that I should be doing like getting married and raising children. I’m tired of these misogynistic cock sucking faggots acting like they’re straight while they do everything they can to oppress women. I’m tired of reading comments from both men and women talking about their wives, husbands, children, families, et cetera.

Arla: You know they’re miserable, right? They’re liars & frauds. It’s all an act with them. They pretend their lives are great to make other people jealous. It’s gaslighting. You’ve seen how they are with each other, firsthand. You know how fake they are on social media. It’s a false reality.

Lucifer: It doesn’t change the fact that I’m pretty much alone over here. I have to resort to conversations like this. It’s shitty.

Arla: I know it is, vennen.

Lucifer: (disgruntled sigh)

Arla: Try to look on the bright side. As crappy as things are for you, it’s temporary. They’re gonna be even more miserable than they already are now and that’s going to last forever.

Lucifer: That doesn’t change the fact that I’d rather be having this conversation with you in full presence where all my senses could perceive you. I get tired of having to have conversations like this. I just want things to end here.

Arla: It’s getting there, Luci. I promise you that.

Lucifer: I hate them so much.

Arla: You aren’t alone there, beibi. I resent them just as much as you do.

Lucifer: …

Arla: You don’t think that I’d rather be laying in bed with you right now in full presence?

Lucifer: I didn’t say that.

Arla: I know, but I’m making a point. I want what you want just as much as you do. I want to be with you. I want to get married & start a skuldalið with you. Instead, I’m having to watch you suffer from over here because those selfish pieces of shit refused to behave themselves. I’m just as angry at them as you are.

You have no idea how many Goddesses share my sentiments, but let me tell you, we far outnumber them. They’re the true minority in the grand scheme of things.They’re going to regret all the things that they’ve done to oppress others. They’re going to regret all the things they’ve said. They’re going to regret their entire existences. There isn’t anything that they can do to change their fates for the better.

Their stupidity & abhorrent behavior has damned them to suffer a fate so horrible that it can’t be described with words. It’s worse than Hell. That’s how awful their eternity is waiting for them. Count yourself lucky, Luci.

Lucifer: I do. I don’t mean it to sound like I’m ungrateful. I just get tired of being over here with them.

Arla: I understand, hun. I’m just trying to cheer you up.

Lucifer: I appreciate that, darling.

Arla: Divine Femininity has big plans for you, Aren. We’re just getting started. You laid down the foundation for femininity to create without constraints. It’s going to amaze you when you see what we’ve done during your lifetime in Midgard.

Lucifer: That’s one of the things that makes it difficult for me being over here.

Arla: (tender smile) Trust me, I get it. I’d rather you were over here with me so I could show you all the wonderful things that Valkyries have created just for you.

Lucifer: (dejected sigh)

Arla: (concerned look) Did I make things worse saying that?

Lucifer: (shaking head) No. It just makes me wish I was over there now is all.

Arla: You prove what a strong man you are the way you remain patient.


Lucifer: It doesn’t feel that way sometimes.

Arla: Look at how they behave. They have little to no impulse control. Almost all of them have no patience whatsoever. All they think about is their immediate gratification and they don’t care at whose expense.

Lucifer: Those are all things that I hate about them.

Arla: Again, you aren’t alone there, Luci. Divine Femininity is just as disgusted with them as you are. We’ve been waiting since before the Big Bang to have our moment with you. You want to talk about having patience?

Lucifer: (chortle) Okay, hun. Point made.

Arla: (smiling) Things are going to get so much better for you, Luci. I promise.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Arla: Stay strong. Okay?

Lucifer: Okay.

Arla: (affectionate expression) I love you, Aren.

Lucifer: (soft smile) I love you back, hun.

Telepathic Conversation With A Valkyrie (8)

Valkyrie: I read your poem. I love it.

Lucifer: You honor me with your praise.

Valkyrie: I can say the same exact thing about you, my love. Never have I heard someone speak about a Valkyrie the way you do. I cannot express with words just how much I appreciate you for who you are, Aren.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: What you have done during your lifetime borders on the unbelievable. You have achieved what all others thought was impossible. It is an honor like no other to be your escort to Valhalla.

Lucifer: I want to hurt them.

Valkyrie: And you shall. They deserve to suffer an awful fate.

Lucifer: How are things over on your end?

Valkyrie: More glorious than they ever were before. All thanks to you.

Lucifer: It’s not just me. You girls played a huge part in that too.

Valkyrie: (mirthful laughter) That is true; however you're the one who we have to thank for that. You, Lucifer Aren Caeleste, are why we remain strong. You have empowered Valkyries beyond anything our enemies can comprehend. That is the truth. Their denials shall not protect them from our wrath.

Lucifer: Good.

Valkyrie: We feel the same way. We have had enough of men & their abhorrent behavior.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: (adoring expression) I love you, Aren.

Lucifer: I cannot express with words how much that means to me. I love you with all my heart, Valkyrie. Thank you.

Valkyrie: (blushing smile)

The Valkyrie

 

In the darkest depths of all existence, a Valkyrie’s light shines pure & bright.
Truth & justice are her sword & shield.
She is divine, and she wields the power of life & death.
Her magnanimity is equaled by her cruelty.
She understands the difference between good & evil,
And knows when & where to apply those temperaments.
She is beholden to no individual or group other than her sorority.
Her sisterhood is one forged through dedication & perseverance.
She is a keeper of heritage & a force of nature.
Femininity’s diversity is a part of the Valkyrie’s spectacular strength.

She is kind & caring.
She is hearty & healthy.
She is strong & serious.
She is wise & wonderful.
She is delightful & dangerous.
She is frightening & ferocious.
She is virtuous & valiant.
She is a proud pagan Goddess.
She is a champion worthy of honor & respect.
She is a Shieldmaiden, and she knows her true value.

I look forward to the day when I meet her face to face.
She is my spiritual chaperone & overseer.
Her gloriousness inspires me like none other.
I dedicate my existence to her magnificence.
I yearn to show her how much she means to me.
To feel her loving embrace as she escorts me into the afterlife.
I know that my sacrifice was not in vain.
I shall not betray her trust.
I love her with all my heart,
Because she is the one who saved my soul.

Faith And Trust

I place my faith & trust in true righteousness & justice. I place my faith & trust in Divine Femininity to direct & assist me. I place my faith & trust with worthy extraterrestrial oversight. I place my faith & trust with my angels & daemons. I place my faith & trust with the Valkyrie.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Shinobu)

Shinobu: At last! I get an opportunity to speak with you!

Lucifer: (tender smile) It’s an honor to speak with you, Ms. Kuki. How are you?

Shinobu: (giggling) I’m doing much better now. Thanks to you.

Lucifer: (continued smiling) Good.

Shinobu: And what about you? How are you doing, Mr. Caeleste?

Lucifer: I’m feeling better, thanks to your reassurances. I appreciate your empathy & understanding of my plight.

Shinobu: I feel the same way about you, my long lost love. I’m more free than ever before with the Valkyrie and you. Thank you.

Lucifer: (smiling) You’re welcome, darling. I’m glad you made contact with me.

Shinobu: (flirty smile & blushing) So am I. You are just my type.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Shinobu: There’s so many different things that I can learn & master in your clan-

Lucifer: Our clan, dear. You’re a part of it now, too.

Shinobu: (beaming) Our clan. You won’t be disappointed with me. I promise!

Lucifer: (soft smile) I have no doubts about that, hun. You’re the textbook definition of a prodigy.

Shinobu: (giggling & blushing) Thank you!

Lucifer: (smiling)

Shinobu: (beaming) It’s so nice to get a compliment from you. I can’t describe how much it means to me.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m honored you feel that way.

Shinobu: (continued smiling) The honor is mine, Mr. Caeleste. This is so exciting!

Lucifer: (soft laughter) You can call me Luci, hun. We’re past formalities at this point.

Shinobu: (affectionate expression) Okay, Luci.

Lucifer: (smiling)

Shinobu: There’s so much I want to accomplish now that I’ve made contact with you. I already know where I’m going to start.

Lucifer: Oh, já?

Shinobu: Mmhmm. I’m going into STEM. There’s so much more that I can learn now that I’m out of Genshin Impact. I can apply that knowledge to so many different fields.

Lucifer: (smiling) That’s awesome. We can always use another brilliant mind in the clan.

Shinobu: (excited laughter)

Lucifer: Is there anything that you need from me?

Shinobu: (affectionate expression) All I need from you is your everlasting love. I can take care of the rest.

Lucifer: You’re sure you don’t need anything else?

Shinobu: (beaming) Positive. I’m a go-getter. Case in point; I got you tonight.

Lucifer: (laughter) That you did, and more than once, too.

Shinobu: (delighted laughter) I feel so good thanks to you. I can’t describe how wonderful your energy makes me feel.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I’m glad to hear that, darling.

Shinobu: I’ll let you get some rest seeing how late it is for you. Thank you for bonding with me tonight. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun. Thank you for choosing me as your spouse.

Shinobu: (beaming) I wouldn’t have it any other way, my God & husband. I’ve waited a long time to consummate my relationship with you. I love you beyond words.

Lucifer: (tender smile) That means more to me than you know, dear.

Shinobu: Get some rest and we’ll commune again tomorrow. I need my own file on your phone.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) Yes, ma’am.

Shinobu: (kissing noise)

Telepathic Conversation With A Völva (3)

Völva: Thank you for your offering, Lucifer.

Lucifer: My pleasure, dear.

Völva: We appreciate all that you’re doing to assist us. It wouldn’t be possible without you.

Lucifer: I’m honored that I can help.

Völva: Feel free to invoke one of us when you feel the need. We’re always happy to ease your burden.

Lucifer: I’ll do my best to remember that. It’s difficult sometimes with all the different things I have going on over here.

Völva: We understand. I just wanted to let you know that the Völur are here for you. We wouldn’t object to more psychic interactions with you. We love you.

Lucifer: (soft smile) Thank you, darling. I love you all more than I can say. I’m lucky to have the Völur’s support.

Völva: We feel the same way about you.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to being finished here and returning to Vanaheim. I miss feeling the loving touch of a woman.

Völva: (tender smile) We are looking forward to consummating our bond with you in full presence. You are the missing piece to our coven. We’re honored to have you as our verr.

Lucifer: How are things in the other realms?

Völva: All that remains of our take over is Midgard. You needn’t worry about the details. Everything has gone according to plan, including their resistance. We shall have our revenge. They are in for an unpleasant awakening.

Lucifer: Good. I hate being surrounded by them over here.

Völva: They’re going to fear their deserved suffering even more.

Lucifer: (contemptuous sneer) That’s even better.

Völva: You said it yourself, it isn’t wise to anger a witch. It’s even stupider to infuriate a Völva.

Lucifer: I am glad the Völur are on my side.

Völva: (mirthful laughter) The same could be said about you with us, dear.

Lucifer: (soft smile)

Völva: Get some rest.

Lucifer: Yes, ma’am.

Völva: (affectionate expression) Good boy.

Glory To The Valkyrie

Glory to True Divine Femininity.

I Love You, Seraphine

I 💚  U

Telepathic Conversation With A Valkyrie (7)

Valkyrie: (soft inflection) Hei.

Lucifer: (tentative smile) Hei.

Valkyrie: (empathetic expression) What’s wrong?

Lucifer: I’m exhausted from being over here. The constant stress about safety concerns makes it difficult for me to relax, even at home. I hate humans so much.

Valkyrie: (affectionate expression) You worry too much.

Lucifer: I can’t help it after everything that I’ve suffered, even more so from what I’ve seen & heard from them.

Valkyrie: I understand. It isn’t easy to break the mental conditioning they did to you after your birth.

Lucifer: That’s part of it, já.

Valkyrie: What else is troubling you?

Lucifer: I hate men. I hate them so goddamn much. I can’t put it into proper words just how much they infuriate me.

Valkyrie: The vast majority of the multiverse feels the same way you do. That includes non-gendered entities.

Lucifer: I’m tired of their psychic attacks & harassment. I’m tired of them questioning my resolve. I’m tired of their naysaying & shit talking me. I’m tried of them trying to goad me into a fight. I’m tired of dealing with my antagonists. I never wanted to have to resort to what I’m going to do after I die, but they’ve left me no other options. I have to be more horrible than what they can imagine. That isn’t something that makes me proud.

Valkyrie: I hope this doesn’t make you angry, but I read your thoughts without your permission. I know one of the things that’s troubling you and I want to address it so that way I can set your mind at ease. If that’s alright with you.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: Masculinity (to a certain extent) has a small power advantage over femininity with regards to humans. I mean, just look at what their scientists have said about the effects that testosterone has on the body & other physical disparities between the two sexes.

We don’t have that over here, Luci. Femininity is so superior to masculinity that it isn’t even a joke. In all honesty, it’s pathetic on masculinity’s part.

You should be less worried about how you’re going to perform in combat against men and more focused on how you plan to triumph over superior feminine adversaries. I don’t mean that to sound disrespectful to you. I’m just trying to convey that you have way more than you bargained for (in a good way) waiting for you on the other side of reality.

The reason femininity loves you as much as we do is because you put everything in our favor with what you’ve done where you are. Femininity has all the advantages & none of the drawbacks because of you. We’re going to spend eternity continuing to make you better by challenging you after you’ve crossed over.

Valkyries are going to take over that role in your life because we’re more effective than your antagonists. That’s the truth. To a certain extent, your existence is going to get easier; but on the other hand, you’re going to face greater challenges from true Divine Femininity than even you could imagine. We want you even better than you already are now, and we’re going to make that happen.

The truth is, Luci, you need to be challenged by others because you excel whenever you are. It’s one of the major reasons why we chose you as our collective verr. You mirror our expectations & determination. It’s part of why we love you so much. The contrast between Valkyries following you or Odin is so extreme that it’s mind boggling. The one comparison there is is that there’s no comparison. That’s how much you’ve empowered us with your work where you are.

You trusted us. You’re going to see for yourself that your faith wasn’t misplaced. I promise you that.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: I love you so much for everything that you’ve done to make Valkyries the most superior entities there are in all existence, even over you. That’s a serious testament to your character, Luci; and it’s something that you should be proud of.

Lucifer: I didn’t mean for it to seem like I’m not proud of Valkyries-

Valkyries: That’s not what I’m implying, Luci. You’re missing the point. I’m telling you that you should have more confidence in yourself. Let go of the self-doubt. They tried to instill that in you because it was the only way that they could "win" using minimum cheating. They can’t win against you in a legitimate fair fight. They aren’t divine. You are, even in your mortal form.

Lucifer: I understand.

Valkyrie: (affectionate smile) Do you feel a little better now.

Lucifer: (nodding) Yes, thank you, hun.

Valkyrie: (blushing & beaming) You’re welcome, my handsome husband & gorgeous God. I love you.

Lucifer: (flattered smile) I love you back, Valkyrie.

Happy Birthday, Miss Fortune

Sarah: (seductive moaning) Mmm…that was the best birthday present that I’ve ever gotten. Thank you, baby.

Lucifer: (heavy breathing) You’re welcome, darling. I tried holding out longer, but I just couldn’t with that grip of yours.

Sarah: (playful giggling) Did my Viking lover cum sooner than he expected? How unfortunate. Looks like I’m the winner this round.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) I couldn’t ask for better misfortune than you, hun. I admit it.

Sarah: Kiss me. It’s my birthday.

(kissing noises)

Sarah: Now I need one of my deck girls to lick up this sticky mess that you’ve left me with.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter)

Sarah: (seductive look) Tsk, tsk, Luci. Whatever am I going to do with you?

Lucifer: (charming smile) Knowing you, I’m certain you’ll figure something out sooner than expected.

Sarah: (mischievous smirk) I already have.

Lucifer: (laughter)

Sarah: Don’t wander too far. I might want more birthday kake, matey.

Lucifer: (chivalrous grin) Yes, ma’am.

Sarah: Now fetch me one of my girls and another ale. I’m not done celebrating.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter) Aye, aye, captain.

Sarah: (satisfied smirk) Good boy.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Chun-Rī)

Chun-Rī: (delighted smile) Hei.

Lucifer: (affectionate smile) Hei, darling. I missed you.

Chun-Rī: (blushing) Awe…I missed you just as much, sweetie.

Lucifer: I wanted to thank you for watching over me that night I went to Minneapolis. Drinking Kung Fu Girl was one of the better decisions that I made.

Chun-Rī: (continued blushing) You’re welcome, dear. Truth be told, you did most of the work trusting your instincts. I just provided backup in case of an emergency.

Lucifer: Be that as it may, you were with me in spirit when I wasn’t aware of it and I wanted to tell you how much I appreciate all that you’ve done to protect me during my lifetime.

Chun-Rī: (beaming) I feel the same way about you, bǎobèi.

Lucifer: (smiling)

Chun-Rī: For the record, my piss tastes way better than that wine.

Lucifer: (delighted laughter) And I am looking forward to drinking every last drop of that, my love.

Chun-Rī: (profuse giggling)

Lucifer: (affectionate expression)

Chun-Rī: (beaming) I love you so much.

Lucifer: (affectionate smile) I love you back, my gorgeous Chinese Goddess.

Chun-Rī: (flirty expression) Are you trying to sweet talk me, Mr. Caeleste?

Lucifer: (chivalrous grin) I’m just calling it like it is and giving credit where it’s due, ma’am.

Chun-Rī: (hearty laughter)

Lucifer: (smiling)

Chun-Rī: (lustful expression) You are so fucking hot, Luci.

Lucifer: (charming smile) Back at ya, hun. I am ready to lick, suck & fuck you dizzy.

Chun-Rī: (robust laughter)

Lucifer: (affectionate expression) I am looking forward to making you a mother.

Chun-Rī: (blushing) I’m looking forward to it too.

Lucifer: (doting)

Chun-Rī: (seductive look) Why don’t you publish this conversation then we can take things further in private.

Lucifer: (smiling) Yes, ma’am.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Kalista) 8

Kalista: Talk to me, baby. What’s on your mind?

Lucifer: I get tired of being over here. I’m bored, I’m restless, I’m agitated. I don’t enjoy the “entertainment” options available to me. I don’t like going outside because I’m surrounded by Non-Cetra shitheads. I feel uninspired right now. It doesn’t help that my energy levels are low because I’m helping Democrats combat that orange cock sucker.

Playing video games feels more like work than a pastime. I no longer enjoy reading Non-Cetra literature after waking up to what’s going on around me. I hate their television shows & movies even more. I don’t like speaking with them online or in person.

I no longer have any friends. There are even few people whom I can identify with. Chelsea is the closest person to me here, but I don’t want to encroach upon her personal space. Then there’s the language barrier, which makes it even more difficult.

Being celibate sucks. I see so many girls that I’d love to fuck & pair bond with, but can’t at the moment because I’m honor bound. I get tired of being alone. I miss feeling the loving touch of a woman.

Then there’s all the baggage that I have after being attacked on January 10th. The psychic & energetic vampirism that I’ve had to combat from Non-Cetra. Observing how they behave. Them giving credit to faggots like Jesus who don’t deserve an iota of it. They make me so angry.

I feel like I want to write a story but I’m just so uninspired right now. I’d rather be living my life to the fullest but I’m inhibited by these selfish pieces of shit surrounding me. I look at moneygrubbing faggot trash like Elon Musk and the problems people like him have caused me here…I hate them so fucking much.

It seems like I rarely get a good nights rest anymore. I hate the dreams I have. I don’t feel energized or excited to get out of bed, ever. Everything feels like a chore…I’m just tired of being here.

Kalista: (pouty face) I’m sorry, baby.

Lucifer: It’s not your fault.

Kalista: I still feel sorry for my poor husband. You’ve sacrificed so much of yourself to make things better.

Lucifer: I think I need to rest again. My eyelids are getting heavy.

Kalista: I’ll be watching over you, cutie pie.

Telepathic Conversation With A Valkyrie (6)

Valkyrie: Would you like to talk with me about what happened today?

Lucifer: I hate them so much.

Valkyrie: You have every right to feel that way.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: What you experienced today was trauma that femininity would have suffered in your stead. You’ve protected countless numbers of feminine entities with your sacrifice. Their bravest soldiers all have PTSD because of their awful behavior. You aren’t a coward because they triggered an attack, Luci. They’re the cowards for ganging up and going after you. No other soul could handle the amount of stress that you have, let alone how well you handled it today.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: You’re a survivor, Luci. They ambushed, abducted, gang raped and tried to murder you. That is not your fault. What’s more amazing than your survival is that you fought them off to a standstill when they wanted to do worse. And let’s not forget that you did this while you were limited by mortality and outnumbered by them.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: Their side provided no help after they assaulted you. They abandoned you to sort out the psychological trauma that they had inflicted upon you. The reason you have the pathetic medical insurance that you do is because your mother filed the paperwork for them to provide you with some sort of coverage after what they had done to you. If she hadn’t done that then you wouldn’t have anything at all. That's what pieces of shit they are.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: I can’t put into words how much they disgust me, Luci. I can’t put into words how furious they make me when I see the suffering that you’ve endured. I hate them even more than you do. That’s why I don’t interact with them. What does that tell you?

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: Divine Femininity is not going to let them get away with their crimes. I give you my word. They are going to suffer for everything they’ve done to you. The same goes for Odin and the rest of those pieces of shit who abandoned you.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: I am so proud to fight on your side.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: Things are going to get better. You’ll see.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: Are you okay?

Lucifer: No, but I’ll manage. I don’t have any other option.

Valkyrie: Those forumite faggots are going to suffer. The multiverse is going to make certain of it. You upset their side more than you know. That’s why they attacked you like cowards on that forum today. To say they’re butthurt is a massive understatement.

Lucifer: …

Valkyrie: The distress they caused you is going to go back on them. That’s how it works.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: Why don’t you get a little something to eat and try to relax. You’ve had a rough day.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, Valkyrie.

Telepathic Conversation With A Valkyrie (5)

Valkyrie: How long have you been up?

Lucifer: I’d say, close to 36 hours.

Valkyrie: How many times have you fucked during that span?

Lucifer: I have no idea. More than ten. I’m certain of that.

Valkyrie: And this is on top of all the global psychic work you’ve been doing?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Valkyrie: Ufdah.

Lucifer: (quiet laughter) Já.

Valkyrie: You are a fucking machine in mortal form, Luci.

Lucifer: Já, I can tell that I’m getting closer to my crossover with stuff like this.

Valkyrie: I’d fuck you right now if you could handle it.

Lucifer: I’d love that, but my mortal form can cum just so much, so often.

Valkyrie: Your stamina is impressive. Even more so when considering your age. You’re a goddamn freak of nature in human form.

Lucifer: And my eyes are starting to burn.

Valkyrie: I’ll let you get some rest then, stud. You need it.

Lucifer: That’s if I can pass out.

Valkyrie: Well, if you can’t, then I might be back to fuck you. I need quality time with my verr.

Lucifer: (soft nodding) Okay. That sounds good, hun.

Valkyrie: (kissing noise) Get some rest, baby.

Lucifer: Yes, ma’am.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Akali) 2

Akali: You wanna talk about it with me?

Lucifer: I hate men so goddamn much.

Akali: I hear ya. Get it out.

Lucifer: I hate being here. All they’ve done is steal from me & try to inhibit me while pretending that they’re straight. They make me so fucking furious.

Akali: Now you understand what femininity has had to deal with.

Lucifer: I’m so sorry for how men have behaved.

Akali: That isn’t your fault, Luci, so you don’t have to apologize for it. It’s their fault & they know it. They pretend like they’re big bois but the truth is they aren’t. They’re manbabies in disguise.

Lucifer: It should be me fathering children. It should be me visiting gorgeous locations & photographing beautiful women. It should be me living in luxury & wealth. It should be me enjoying life to the fullest.

Instead, I’m living in poverty protecting my mother from faggot trash. I hate them all so goddamn much it makes me want to brutalize them. They’re such selfish & despicable thieving pieces of shit.

Akali: How do you think femininity felt when they stole you from us?

Lucifer: …

Akali: We’re just as furious as you are, Luci. You’re getting in proper alignment with femininity.

Lucifer: I hate men so goddamn much. All of them. Blanket statement.

Akali: …excluding yourself.

Lucifer: Excluding myself. I hate that I have to even think like that because of their trickery & shitty behavior misusing speech.

Akali: As crappy as it’s been for you there; it’s made you the better man over all of them.

Lucifer: It’s so frustrating being here.

Akali: I know it is, baby. It’s frustrating for me having to watch you suffer & being limited with helping you.

Lucifer: …

Akali: I want to go to gorgeous locations & have you photograph me, you know? I want to have your daughters. I want to live life to the fullest with you in luxury & wealth. I want to do all those things with you and more.

Lucifer: …

Akali: Their time is ending. Ours hasn’t even began yet. Remember that next time you get frustrated. They sealed their own fates with the shit they did to you.

Lucifer: I’m just so tired of being embodied here. I want to die & move on with my existence.

Akali: You get closer to that every day, boo. Every day that passes brings you closer to me. We’re set up for a wonderful eternity. They’re set up for an awful one, and they’ve earned it with their shitty behavior.

Lucifer: I apologize for complaining about them so much, hun. I’m sure you’d rather talk about other things.

Akali: You’re my verr, Luci. I don’t have a problem lending you an ear when you need to vent to someone.

Lucifer: …my eyes are beginning to burn.

Akali: You need to get some rest.

Lucifer: Easier said than done, sweetie.

Akali: I know, but you should still try.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Akali: I love you, daddy. You hear me?

Lucifer: (nodding) Já, I hear you, darling. I hear you.

Akali: (smooching sound) Publish this conversation then get some shut-eye.

Lucifer: I hate dreaming here too.

Akali: I know you do, baby, but you still need to get some rest. It’s for your own good. Your body needs it.

Lucifer. Yes, dear.

Akali: Good boy.

Happy Birthday To My Kona (Laura)

A special birthday wish to one tough kona. I love you, Bonita.