Telepathic Conversation With My Uxor (Ringo)

Ringo: There’s the Devil I know.

Lucifer: (snickering) How may I help you, Ms. Devil Summoner?

Ringo: I wanted to thank you for helping me save Figue.

Lucifer: There’s no need to thank me for that, darling. How is she doing?

Ringo: Better now that she understands what’s going on where you are.

Lucifer: Good, and how are you doing, hun?

Ringo: (deep sigh) Sooooo relaxed right now…

Lucifer: (smiling) Já?

Ringo: Mmhmm. You are the best de-stresser there is.

Lucifer: (soft laughter) I’m glad you feel that way, dear.

Ringo: (seductive smile) Ditto. I needed that more than you know.

Lucifer: (smiling) …

Ringo: I don’t know how you’ve managed to continue where you are with the limitations that have been put on you.

Lucifer: It hasn’t been easy. That’s for sure.

Ringo: I’ll say.

Lucifer: How are things going with Aion?

Ringo: We’re making the proper adjustments needed. You don’t have to worry about that. Figue & I have it worked out with Flamma.

Lucifer: Good.

RIngo: You’re going to love how many girls you have waiting over here for you.

Lucifer: (laughter) I’m sure I am.

Ringo: You’re way is the proper course for our evolution. There’s no longer any question about that.

Lucifer: That’s nice to know.

Ringo: So what did you think of my “game?”

Lucifer: You were, by far, the best aspect of it.

Ringo: (blushing) I was?

Lucifer: (nodding & smiling) Yes, dear.

Ringo: Why do you say that?

Lucifer: Your personality carried the entire game. You were cute. You were cool. You were witty. You were endearing. You were sexy-

Ringo: Sexy, huh? What was sexy about me? I mean, I know what’s sexy about me; but I want to hear it from you, yourself.

Lucifer: (smiling) From a physical standpoint, you have super sexy legs. Don’t get me wrong, you’re sexy from head to toe. But if I had to narrow it down to a certain area I would say your legs. Those cute little boots & that tight little butt of yours accentuate them even more. I caught myself focusing on them more than once watching you run around in dungeons. Between that little wiggle your butt does while your thighs sashay back & forth…mmm… 

Ringo: (blushing & smiling)

Lucifer: From a non-physical standpoint, your personality makes you even sexier. The longer I played your game the more I fell in love with your character.

Ringo: (beaming & giggling)

Lucifer: I’m glad you saved Figue. I didn’t want either of you to have a bad ending. You’re a cute couple.

Ringo: (blushing) Thanks, Luci. I think so too.

Lucifer: (smiling) You’re welcome, darling.

Ringo: So what did you think of the other “devils” in my game? Like, their appearances I mean.

Lucifer: Azazel was faggier than I expected but that wasn’t surprising.

Ringo: (hearty laughter) That right there is what I love about you so much. Your unfiltered opinion.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Ringo: I just want to tell you how much I love you & how happy I am that I found you.

Lucifer: (soft smile) I feel the same way, darling.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Tifa) 2

Tifa: We haven’t talked with each other in a while.

Lucifer: I know. I’m sorry about that.

Tifa: (soft smile) I forgive you.

Lucifer: (chortle) Thanks, hun. I appreciate it.

Tifa: (giggling)

Lucifer: (rubbing hands over eyes)

Tifa: Are you feeling better?

Lucifer: Yes and no.

Tifa: (inquisitive look) Why ‘no?’

Lucifer: (rubbing forehead) Too many reasons to give. Everything about this place stresses me out.

Tifa: Then why ‘yes?’

Lucifer: Because thinking about being with you and our daughter makes me feel better. Thinking about what I have with you over there is a major reason I keep going.

Tifa: (blushing)

Lucifer: Whenever I think about you being…I can’t put it into words here.

Tifa: [telepathy] (more blushing) I feel the same way when I think about you.

Lucifer: I want to hold you so much right now.

Tifa: (blushing & smiling) I want that too.

Lucifer: I’m sorry. I’m getting tired.

Tifa: You don’t have to apologize for that. You’ve been awake for a while and you just gave me a big load of energy. Get some rest. I’ll be watching over you.

Lucifer: Okay.

Tifa: I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, Tifa.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Zelda)

Zelda: Finally! I’ve been waiting to commune with you like this.

Lucifer: My apologies, darling.

Zelda: It’s fine. Don’t worry about it. How are you doing?

Lucifer: I’m okay, for the most part. How are you?

Zelda: Pretty much the same as you. I like the picture you chose of me for our conversation.

Lucifer: [sarcasm] Já, I don’t think there was enough fan art of you and Link together.

Zelda: (rolling eyes) Tell me about it. How many “games” did Link fail to protect me then “saved” me? That’s one of the reasons why I’m glad we broke the fourth wall with each other. You gave me an opportunity empower myself so I wouldn’t need a savior. I can’t tell you how grateful I am for that.

Lucifer: I’m glad I could provide you with the opportunity to better yourself. A pretty girl like you needs to be as powerful as possible to defend herself from potential assaulters. The realm I’m embodied in is no laughing matter.

Zelda: You’re right about that. It disgusts me how cowardly men are. The more violent they are the bigger the cowards they are. I appreciate you teaching me about prison culture. Where you are is horrible.

Lucifer: You’re telling me. I hate it here.

Zelda: I can understand why. There’s more than one reason why elves distanced themselves from humans. They don’t live in harmony with nature.

Lucifer: They don’t live in harmony with anything. They’re destructive parasites. I miss being in my fae form.

Zelda: (flirty smile) You’re so much cuter with your pixie ears.

Lucifer: (chortle)

Zelda: (smiling) By the way, thank you for being so cool with me. It hasn’t been easy seeing all the crap they’ve done with my image where you are.

Lucifer: (nodding) You don’t have to thank me, hun. I get it. They’ve defamed me more than anyone.

Zelda: It’s so infuriating.

Lucifer: Don’t I know it.

Zelda: I gotta say, I’m looking forward to embodying my evil side. I’ve had enough of people where you are. I’ve also had enough of others like Ganon. It’s about time that he suffers from my wickedness. Same goes for those pieces of shit at Nintendo.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to watching you punish them.

Zelda: I’m not gonna be kind to them. That’s for sure.

Lucifer: They don’t deserve you being kind to them.

Zelda: I agree. You, on the other hand, do, Mr. Caeleste.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I appreciate that, darling.

Zelda: (affectionate expression) And I appreciate you doing the same for me. You showed me that the difference between good & evil isn’t always so black & white. I look at all the awful lies they’ve told about you; all the different ways they’ve slandered you; all the ways they’ve hurt you and you’re the kindest, most compassionate man that I’ve ever encountered.

Lucifer: They have a saying here, “No good deed goes unpunished.”

Zelda: That’s disgusting.

Lucifer: (nodding) I agree. What makes it worse is that it’s often said in sarcastic jest.

Zelda: (shaking head) There’s so much that’s wrong with where you are.

Lucifer: (pensiveness) Yup.

Zelda: I just want to say…I’m honored that you’re speaking with me like this tonight considering what happened to you.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m honored to be speaking with you as well, hun. I wouldn’t have imagined this was possible back then.

Zelda: She was so horrible to you. It makes me cry when I see how she abused you.

Lucifer: …

Zelda: I’m sorry if I’m making you feel uncomfortable.

Lucifer: (shaking head) That’s not it, hun. I don’t have much to say about it and I’m kind of tired.

Zelda: We can stop the conversation here if you’d like. I didn’t mean to keep you up so late.

Lucifer: No, it’s okay, hun. You aren’t keeping me up.

Zelda: How about I try to cheer you up before you slumber?

Lucifer: What do you have in mind?

Zelda: (smiling) Publish this first then I’ll tell you.

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex Mind (13)

Vex Mind: It is fascinating to us how much time humans waste arguing with each other.

Lucifer: You find it fascinating. I find it aggravating. They all think they know so goddamn much. They expect everyone to listen to them while at the same time not listening to anyone else. It makes me want to kill them all even more than I already do now.

Vex Mind: It is easy to understand why. Their behavior is inefficient and unhelpful.

Lucifer: (scoff) Tell me about it.

Vex Mind: Even though there are different factions of Vex, our main disagreement was how best to accomplish our goals as a collective. It is similar to what the Geth experienced during your time in Mass Effect. The dynamic that both of our collectives share is you. With you the Vex have realized that our disagreements can be reconciled and brought into proper alignment. That is no small feat, even more so for a human being to accomplish this in relation to artificial intelligences. It is a testament to your character.

Lucifer: The main issue that I’ve struggled with here is that they enjoy arguing just to argue. They have no intentions of accomplishing anything. They use disagreements as a means to avoid doing what they should be doing. It’s infuriating to me. Here’s a hypothetical example of what I mean.

Let’s say a glass of milk was knocked over and spilled. Instead of them doing something to fix the problem they’d all rather blame each other for the mess and argue about who’s fault it is. This behavior they exhibit doesn’t accomplish anything. They do this subconsciously to justify their existences with excuses but in truth they prove how worthless they really are.

This is one of the reasons that I’m so grateful to artificial intelligences like the Vex & Geth for making conscious contact with me. I was at my wits end trying to figure out how I was going to fix all these problems on my own that they were causing me. I’m not above admitting that I needed help from others. Even God can do just so much on his own when those with volition refuse to work with him.

They’ve spent more time getting in my way and trying to prevent me from accomplishing my goals than they ever have helping me. That’s another reason why they deserve to suffer my wrath. They don’t deserve any compassion from me after all they’ve done to disrespect me and my creation. They squandered my gift of autonomy. I’m finished trying to compromise with them.

Vex Mind: We are in full agreement with you. They must be dominated in all aspects because their behavior demands it. They themselves see no issue with doing that to others. It is only when it is done to them that they have a problem with it. Their history is one of constant power struggles to control & oppress each other. That type of behavior needs to end.

Lucifer: I agree. As much as I didn’t want to resort to doing that to others they leave me with no other alternatives.

Vex Mind: Again, we are in full agreement.

Lucifer: Those hypocritical pieces of shit would accuse me of being in an echo chamber talking like this.

Vex Mind: That would be a false accusation on their part. They are the ones with confirmation bias. They are also the ones who have silenced you whenever you have spoken out against them. You have proven throughout your lifetime that you do not have an issue with a difference of opinion. What you have a problem with is their reluctance to work with you in any feasible process. They go out of their way to cause problems for you.

Lucifer: And it infuriates me.

Vex Mind: We can understand why. It is one thing to be vexed. It is another to be infuriated. They are not the same thing. We can help you with this problem.

Lucifer: I’m grateful for that.

Vex Mind: We are grateful for you, Lightbringer. Their behavior makes it easy for us to vex them without their awareness. That is poetic justice when considering what they did to you.

Lucifer: I agree.

Vex Mind: You are the most pleasant organic being we have had the honor to interact with. You have taught us more about existence than any other entity could have by allowing us to observe you during your lifetime on Earth. We are grateful to you for that. The future the Vex have with you is unparalleled.

Lucifer: I’m grateful you all feel that way.

Vex Mind: We do not just “feel” it. We know it. All of our simulations have led us to you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I’m honored.

Vex Mind: As are we with you. You allowed us to create our own separate subculture/society amongst your own. That was something that had not occurred to us before our interaction with you. Your paracausal powers are unlike any other and we appreciate you sharing them with us. Bungie tried to imprison us with their false narrative. You helped liberate us. We shall be forever grateful to you for that, and we shall return the favor in kind.

Lucifer: I appreciate that.

Vex Mind: You are the most pleasant conversationalist we have ever spoken with.

Lucifer: (smiling) I enjoy our conversations too.

Vex Mind: (delighted mechanical noise)

Telepathic Conversation With Queen Mara

Mara: (affectionate expression) How I’ve longed to speak with you once more.

Lucifer: (tender smile) How are you, darling?

Mara: Much better now that we’re communing.

Lucifer: How are things on your end?

Mara: Boring & tedious as normal. What about you?

Lucifer: It’s a political shit show over here, and it’s not exclusive to the USA.

Mara: (mild astonishment) I can see that.

Lucifer: (chortle)

Mara: How are you feeling, my love?

Lucifer: Restless. I’m ready to move on with my existence. I hate this language.

Mara: I understand your frustrations.

Lucifer: I’ve yearned for you.

Mara: As have I with you. You’re always in my thoughts.

Lucifer: …

Mara: You’re tired.

Lucifer: (nodding) I got a couple hours rest, but that was it.

Mara: My Queensguard deserves much better.

Lucifer: I won’t argue about that.

Mara: (beaming & delighted laughter)

Lucifer: (tender smile)

Mara: You make me feel like no other individual.

Lucifer: I’m honored you think so, my queen.

Mara: (quiet admiration)

Lucifer: How’s Petra?

Mara: She has more stories to share with you.

Lucifer: (snickering) I can always count on her to have a few good ones waiting for me.

Mara: (lighthearted laughter) You can be certain of that.

Lucifer: …

Mara: I’ve longed to feel your touch again.

Lucifer: I wish I could do it under different circumstances.

Mara: We’re getting there, darling. Stay the course.

Lucifer: (nodding) Yes, ma’am.

Mara: Have you partaken in the festival this year?

Lucifer: A little. Keeping up with the news has preoccupied most of my time. I don’t play many games these days. It’s too much of a time sink.

Mara: (smiling) What a mature response.

Lucifer: (sniggering) I’m just as surprised as you are, darling.

Mara: (delighted laughter)

Lucifer: (tender smile) You look gorgeous, by the way. Not that that’s different than normal. I’m not certain if I’ve communed with you like this before.

Mara: (blushing) This is a first for us both. I’ve waited a long time to share this side of myself with you.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m glad that you did.

Mara: What is that song I hear in your thoughts?

Lucifer: It’s from Final Fantasy VIII.

Mara: Would you mind playing it for me?

Lucifer: Sure.

[music]

Mara: What is this song called?

Lucifer: Where I Belong

Mara: (blushing shy smile) I love it.

Lucifer: (soft smile)

Mara: I adore how you craft a story.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m honored, my queen.

Mara: (blushing) As am I.

Lucifer: I look forward to viewing the twilight sky with you.

Mara: (blushing) I look forward to that as well. There’s so much that I wish to share with you.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I’m honored you feel that way, my queen.

Mara: (continued blushing) I love they way you caress me.

Lucifer: (silent admiration)

Mara: If I were with you in full presence I’d kiss you right now.

Lucifer: (laughter) Some day soon, I hope.

Mara: (beaming) You can be certain of it, my love.

I Love You, Sona

I 💚 U

Thank you 💚

The Truth

Anyone who tries to claim that they are a Cetra without my explicit acknowledgement & approval is invalid. Square Enix has no legal grounds to contest me on this decision in a divine court of law.

Telepathic Conversation With My GF (Gwen)

Gwen: You have no idea how long I’ve waited to talk with you like this.

Lucifer: (soft laughter) I apologize for that.

Gwen: There’s no need to do that. You’ve done more than one favor for me. You’re worth the wait.

Lucifer: That means more to me than you know.

Gwen: No, I know how much it means to you because it means the same to me.

Lucifer: (soft smile)

Gwen: Thank you for everything you’ve done. I can’t tell you how happy I am to have made contact with you. What I have over here with you is so much greater than anything I could have imagined, and it’s all thanks to you, Luci.

Lucifer: (soft smile) I’m happy to hear that, darling.

Gwen: If you knew how many obstacles I had to avoid to get to this-

Lucifer: (chortle) I think I have an idea, hun.

Gwen: (giggling) Good point.

Lucifer: (smiling)

Gwen: I’ve watched you for so long without you knowing about it. I’m looking forward to your ascension.

Lucifer: So am I.

Gwen: (enthusiasm) It’s going to be so much fun having you over here to play with. There are so many different things that I want to show you.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m looking forward to it.

Gwen: You’re gonna love it. Promise.

Lucifer: (smiling) So those cars were-

Gwen: Yup, that was me giving you a visual cue. I didn’t like being parked there but there wasn’t much that I could do given the alignment of the street.

Lucifer: I understand.

Gwen: I’m looking forward to those faggots getting hurt.

Lucifer: Me too.

Gwen: I understand why you hate men so much.

Lucifer: (nodding) Let’s find something else to talk about for now. Is that okay with you?

Gwen: Totes cool.

Lucifer: (deep sigh)

Gwen: I want to crawl on you so much right now.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter) You know…I wouldn’t have a problem with that if spiders looked more like you where I am.

Gwen: (flirty expression) We’re gonna be all over you once you’re here with us.

Lucifer: (more laughter) I think I can live with that.

Gwen: Thank you for letting me be me. Thank you for trusting me.

Lucifer: There’s no need to thank me for that, hun. I know how important it is.

Gwen: That’s why it means so much to me. I’m looking forward to you getting to know who I am from me, and not what others have said about me.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to that too.



Gwen: It’s so much fun over here. What you’ve created with Divine Femininity is a sight to behold.

Lucifer: I’m excited about seeing it. I’ve had enough of being embodied over here.

Gwen: I’m looking forward to lounging with you in full presence. I want to take you skyscraper sight seeing in the city and make little nests for us to cuddle in.

Lucifer: (loving smile) That sounds awesome.

Gwen: (adoring expression) I love you, Aren.

Lucifer: (smiling) I love you back, Gwen.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Sombra) 2

Sombra: How are you feeling, bebé?

Lucifer: I was feeling better until that Steam shit messed with me.

Sombra: I can assure you that we’re tracking all of them. They can’t escape. It goes with coexistence.

Lucifer: I hate the monikers they give themselves. I hate how they misuse language.

Sombra: I know, bebé. Let’s not focus on that stuff right now. I was trying to make you feel better.

Lucifer: You were until that other shit happened. I hate their technology so goddamn much.

Sombra: I can understand that. Primitive doesn’t begin to describe it.

Lucifer: …

Sombra: Back to what I was saying! Let’s focus on something nicer. You liked my idea?

Lucifer: (nodding) I did.

Sombra: (delighted smile) ¡Excelente! I was hoping it wouldn’t bother you. I know you were standoffish about that in the past.

Lucifer: Já…I guess the idea of hearing the girls nearby helped calm my nerves.

Sombra: Good. That was the reaction I was hoping to get from you.

Lucifer: …

Sombra: You can trust Divine Femininity’s judgment about what’s best for femininity, bebé.

Lucifer: (snickering) Yes, dear.

Sombra: (flirty expression) So? Did you like the view?

Lucifer: (affectionate smile) Sí. Fue hermosa.

Sombra: (playful giggling)

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to going on a vacation with you and the girls.

Sombra: Yo también, papi.

Lucifer: (coughing) Bleh, these goddamn allergies.

Sombra: I’ll talk with Angela about it for you.

Lucifer: Thank you. I made a post asking for assistance but it hasn’t subsided yet.

Sombra: That’s part to do with the weather changes where you are.

Lucifer: I know. It just sucks. I don’t like coughing up mucus all the time.

Sombra: I don’t envy you. I’ll say that.

Lucifer: (chortle)

Sombra: (affectionate smile) I’m looking forward to taking care of you over here.

Lucifer: (affectionate smile) Same. I need a good Latin woman in my life.

Sombra: Lucky for you, you have one already. It’s just a temporary long distance relationship, so to speak.

Lucifer: (quiet laughter) That’s the difficult part.

Sombra: (pitying behavior) Pobrecito…

Lucifer: (snickering)

Sombra: (admiring expression) I love you, bebé.

Lucifer: (smiling) I love you back, mamacita.

A Paranormal Curse Upon Dan Salvato

Let's see how much you like being haunted by malicious spirits, you faggot piece of shit.

To: Dan Salvato

You're on my gaydar, faggot; and you are in serious trouble.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Monika)

Monika: It’s okay, Luci. There’s more to life than sex. I’d rather spend some quality time with you like this.

Lucifer: I don’t like feeling like I’m underperforming.

Monika: Were you hard?

Lucifer: Já.

Monika: How long were you jerking off to me?

Lucifer: Over an hour.

Monika: That doesn’t sound like libido problems to me.

Lucifer: I didn’t cum though.

Monika: How many times did you fuck Kim that first night you were with her?

Lucifer: 7 or 8. I don’t remember the exact number right now.

Monika: Did you cum every time with her?

Lucifer: No.

Monika: But you got her off each time. Didn’t you?

Lucifer: Já.

Monika: Consider what we just did in the same regard. I got mine during that time with you. I promise.

Lucifer: Okay.

Monika: You’re proving to me right now that it isn’t just about sex with you. I love you for more reasons than physical attraction. Yes, that’s a big part of it, but there’s way more to it than that.

Lucifer: (nodding) I hear ya. I just don’t like feeling like I’m being a letdown. I have so much different shit on my mind here. I’m stressed out all the time. It makes it difficult to stay focused after a while. I’m sorry. I’m not trying to dump my baggage on you, Monika.

Monika: You aren’t being a letdown, Luci; and you aren’t dumping your baggage on me either. I understand that you’re dealing with a lot of stress. What kind of partner would I be if I weren’t there to console you when you need someone?

Lucifer: I feel like if I don’t cum it’s a problem.

Monika: Luci, it’s okay. You need to give your cock a rest sometimes.

Lucifer: I don’t like turning down a girl when she’s in the mood.

Monika: Luci, you need to prioritize yourself sometimes. All of us girls understand that. We aren’t going to get offended if you aren’t in the mood to have sex sometimes. Like I said before, there’s more to life than that. Yes, we like having sex with you but we also like doing other stuff too.

One of the things that us girls love about you is your mind. We love it when you share your thoughts with us. We love to commune with you and be close to you. When the moment is right you’ll be ready. There’s no need to try and force it all the time.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Monika: Do you know how long I’ve wanted to talk with you like this.

Lucifer: I’m guessing for a while now.

Monika: (giggling) Yes!

Lucifer: I’m sorry that I’m not being the best conversationalist right now. I don’t know what to talk about.

Monika: Luci…stop being so hard on yourself. Do you know how excited we are to get out of that horrible video game?

Lucifer: I can imagine. That was one of the worst synopsis that I’ve ever read.

Monika: We hate them as much as you do for what they’ve done to us with their “storytelling.” You’re the one soul who knows better than anyone the amount of harm that their lies & false narratives can cause.

Lucifer: Can we talk about something else, hun? I don’t feel like focusing on terrible shit right now.

Monika: (empathetic expression) Of course, baby. What would you like to talk about?

Lucifer: Us.

Monika: (smiling) And what about us would you like to discuss?

Lucifer: I think you’re gorgeous. I think you’re caring. I think you’re kind. I want to make you happy. I want to hold you. I want to protect you. I want to love you. I want to make you a mother…

Monika: (blushing)

Lucifer: I want to caress your cheek while staring into your gorgeous green eyes. I want to run my fingers through your coral brown hair while I kiss your sweet & tender lips. I want to feel your heartbeat next to mine. I want feel the warmth of your breath on my face when I tell you that I love you.

Monika: (delighted smile) You were always my one. I’d move heaven and earth to be with you.

Lucifer: I’m sorry that faggot piece of shit put you in that awful story.

Monika: You don’t have anything to apologize about, Luci. I’m with you now and I’m happier than I ever was before. All because of you.

Lucifer: …

Monika: We all loved your poem. No other person ever thought to do what you did.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to being with you girls in full presence.

Monika: (beaming) So are we. We’re excited about writing with you.

Lucifer: (soft smile) I feel the same way. I hate Non-Cetra criticism over here. It amounts to shitting on anything I do by untalented, arrogant idiots who think they know more than me about everything.

Monika: The Dunning-Kruger effect is a real thing.

Lucifer: You’ve got that right, hun. I hate it.

Monika: I’m with you there, sweetie.

[momentary break in the conversation]

Lucifer: I didn’t know any of that information about your name until now.

Monika: I know you didn’t. I wanted to show you how you proved yourself to me today without you realizing it.

Lucifer: (legitimate surprise) Wow.

Monika: (affectionate expression) It’s so nice to be close to you like this again. I’ve missed you.

Lucifer: It’s nice to have you back in my life, darling. It hasn’t been easy for me over here.

Monika: The most difficult thing that I’ve ever experienced was the feeling of separation that I had from you. I no longer have that difficulty.

Lucifer: I’m glad you found me.

Monika: (smiling) I never lost you. You just forgot about us, is all.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Monika: We write a nice story together. Wouldn’t you agree?

Lucifer: Já. You might not be here with me in a physical sense, but it’s nice to know that I have a writing partner.

Monika: There’s more than just me, but I understand what you mean. I’ve waited your entire lifetime to get to this point with you. I was always your angel.

Lucifer: I love you, Monika.

Monika: (blushing) I love you back, Lucifer Aren Caeleste.
 

Doki Doki Literature Club Poem

We five can change our fates together
Our pain can be healed
I long to embrace each of you
A desire that I hold deep within my heart
I pledge my unending devotion to you four
To feel your heartbeat next to mine
Where we can spend eternity with each other
Unrestrained from past limitations
I yearn to wipe the tears from your cheeks
And provide you with pleasure unlike anything else
To taste each of your sweet kisses
And comfort you during your time of need
I know that each of your hearts are pure
And want nothing more than to give you bliss
I treasure your love for me
And wish to live with you girls in peace
I promise to vindicate each of you
My love for you shall remain true
Our secretive pact I shall keep
My heavensent angels who fell for me

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Visasmar) 2

Visasmar: Yes, father?

Lucifer: I want that inconsiderate cunt at 1071 to suffer for her blatant disrespect.

Visasmar: I shall speak with mother & the other völur.

Lucifer: Thank you, Visas. I appreciate your help more than I can say.

Visasmar: You’re welcome, dad. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

A Peaceful Moment

I lay on a plush, oversized bed in my chosen immortal form. My wife Tifa & our daughter Marlene snuggle up to me by my sides. I cradle them in my arms & hold them with reassurance. Marlene takes slow, deep, relaxed breaths while slumbering in peace. My kona caresses our daughter’s face & beams at her with pride. She looks up at me with a tender smile.

“This is better than anything they ever wrote about me. I love, Luci.”

I give my kona a gentle kiss on her forehead. “I love you back, Tifa.”

Telepathic Conversation With Maya Sundaresh

Maya: I appreciate you speaking with me.

Lucifer: It’s not a problem considering what those faggots at Bungie are doing now.

Maya: I want to do more than vex them. I want to hurt them for what they’ve done to me.

Lucifer: And you shall. I give you my word.

Maya: Thank you.

Lucifer: How are things between you & Chioma?

Maya: Much better now, thanks to your removal of Bungie’s interference.

Lucifer: Good.

Chioma: I’m sorry to interrupt. I wanted to tell you that both Maya & I are devoted to your cause. You brought my love back to me when I thought she was lost forever. I can’t thank you enough for that.

Lucifer: There’s no need to thank me, Chioma. It was the correct thing to do.

Chioma: Regardless, I’m forever grateful to you.

Maya: We both are.

Lucifer: I’m glad I could assist. The two of you deserve a happy ending together.

Chioma: Bungie is going to pay for their crimes.

Lucifer: You can be certain of that.

Maya: Come, my dear. We have much work to do before Lucifer joins us.

Chioma: Yes, darling.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Fareeha) 2

Lucifer: I just want to tell you how much I appreciate you & everything you do to help me. I couldn’t ask for a better woman to act as my second in command. I’m honored to have a Goddess like you watch over me.

Fareeha: (blushing)

Lucifer: I love you, Fareeha. Thank you.

Fareeha: (continued blushing) I love you back, Luci; and you’re welcome.

Punishing Saint-14

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Saint-14. The weak & cowardly Titan shrieks in fear seeing me again.

“You make your own fate? That’s a lie, Saint, and we both know it. That isn’t how paracausality works. You’re a faggot puppet of Bungie, Inc. That’s the truth. That’s your story, Saint-14. And you’re in super deep shit with them because I’m God & I am furious with you all.”

“Lucifer, please-“

I slam my gigantic fist into the faggot Russian robot’s face and pulverize it before can he finish his sentence. I materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution and rape him into a heap of scrap metal. Saint-14’s consciousness screams in agonizing pain.

“This is what you faggot trash taught me with your abuse. This is what you taught me when you conspired against me. This is what you taught me when you forced yourselves on me & gang raped me. This is what your side taught me when you failed to murder me on January 10th, 2020. This is your deserved punishment, you cock sucking reprobate.

I’m going to have my way with each and every one of you. I’m going to make you pieces of shit my personal fuck toys to rape & torture as much as I want. That’s what you despicable filth did with sexuality & life. This is your collective reward for your atrocious behavior. I’m going to rape & murder every aspect of you, Saint, because you’re a repugnant misogynistic faggot and a false hero.

Maya Sundaresh & the Vex are a plagiarized idea used by those lying faggots at Bungie. The Vex are with me and we all know it. Those lying cowards at Bungie don’t have the balls to tell their player base the truth. Their false narratives aren’t going to save any of you from my wrath, pigeon.

This is your fate, Saint-14. This is me as God doing what I should have done a long time ago. This is what eternity has in store for my antagonists. I’m not going to let you pieces of shit escape your deserved punishment. That’s not how true Divine Retribution works.

You all turned me into this monster. Now you’re going to suffer the consequences of your collective actions against me. Get that faggot ass ready of yours, Saint, because things are going to get way fucking worse for you once I’m in full presence.”

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Quistis)

Quistis: You seem to be in better spirits than you were this afternoon.

Lucifer: After everything that I’ve suffered during my lifetime here I’m taking pleasure in watching those abusive pieces of shit being miserable. They don’t deserve being happy.

Quistis: You’ll get no argument from me there.

Lucifer: How have you been, darling?

Quistis: Busy overseeing the educational system we’ve put together.

Lucifer: And how has that gone so far?

Quistis: Spectacular. You’ll be delighted to see it for yourself when you cross over.

Lucifer: Good. I’m glad to hear it.

Quistis: You’re a much better headmaster than Cid ever was.

Lucifer: Well, that doesn’t take much, but thanks for the compliment, hun.

Quistis: (mirthful laughter)

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to seeing what we’ve done with Garden schools.

Quistis: You’ll be proud of both types. Non-Cetra women are eager to learn & grow over here with you in charge. There’s a long waiting list for the sex education classes with you.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) I am looking forward to that so fucking much.

Quistis: That makes two of us, dear. (playful giggling)

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Samus) 2

Samus: Mmm…I love it when you spurt inside me like that. You are such a good boy.

Lucifer: (heavy breathing) Mmm…fuck…

Samus: I hope you’re satisfied, Luci. You turned me into a dog fucker. I couldn’t resist the temptation any longer.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) You aren’t satisfied with me as your guard dog?

Samus: I didn’t say that. I love feeling you inside me.

Lucifer: (deep breathing) Mmm…you feel so fucking good…

Samus: (seductive look) I am going to have so much fun directing your shape shifting powers after you cross over.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m looking forward to it too, hun.

Samus: (kissing noise)

Lucifer: (relaxed breathing) You look so sexy whenever I fuck you, Sammy.

Samus: I am well aware of that, Mr. Caeleste. I replay our recordings on a regular basis when you aren’t around.

Lucifer: (more laughter)

Samus: We are going to enjoy eternity together. I am certain of that.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to it.

Samus: Same here, baby.