The Truth

The bigger the sack of shit, the more a MAGAt loves them. Blanket statement.

Happy Birthday, Tifa

Tifa: Hello?

Lucifer: Hei, hun. Happy birthday.

Tifa: Hei! It’s about time you called me! And thank you, by the way.

Lucifer: How have you girls been?

Tifa: We miss you.

Lucifer: I miss y’all too.

Tifa: What about you? How are you doing?

Lucifer: I’m tired.

Tifa: I’m sorry to hear that.

Lucifer: It is what it is.

Tifa: It sounds like you need a Tifa pick-me-up.

Lucifer: That would be nice.

Tifa: I’ll give you all that you can handle and more once we’re together.

Lucifer: You doing anything nice for your bday?

Tifa: Já, Aerith & I are going out for dinner while Yuffie babysits Marlene for me.

Lucifer: Where are you going?

Tifa: An upscale bistro in downtown New Valhalla. You haven’t heard of it before.

Lucifer: Gotcha.

Tifa: We’ll take you there once you're back with us. We love the vibe and the tiramisu is phenomenal.

Lucifer: That sounds nice.

Tifa: Wanna see what we’re wearing?

Lucifer: Sure, that sounds even better.

Tifa: No, nudes for you, right now.

Lucifer: (soft laughter)

Tifa: I love you, Luci. Thank you for giving me a call.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun. Tell Marlene to make sure that Yuffie behaves herself while you’re gone.

Tifa: (robust laughter) Yes, sir!

Aerith: (speaking in the background) Hei! You tell that no good husband of mine that he’s gonna get a spanking from me for being such a bad boy.

Tifa: (more laughter)

Lucifer: (snickering) Sounds like I’m in trouble.

[Aerith grabs the phone from Tifa]

Aerith: You’re damn right you are, mister. I’m gonna break you in like a steed.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter)

Aerith: Now, if you’ll excuse us. I have a birthday date with my waifu.

Lucifer: (snickering) Yes, ma’am. Sorry to interrupt.

Aerith: I love you, handsome. (smoochy noise)

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Tifa: (yelling in the background) Bye, Luci! Thanks for calling. I love you!

Aerith: You be quiet. You’re mine for the evening.

Tifa: (loud laughter)

Lucifer: I’ll talk with you girls later.

Aerith: Sounds good, stud. Goodnight.

Lucifer: Goodnight, hun.

A Malignant And Problematic Curse Upon Rudolph William Louis Giuliani

Stories like this make me feel horrible! Looks like Rudy's old, sick, yucky butt is in desperate need of some ASSistance from me! What could possibly go wrong for that old cocƙsucƙer when I'm around to give him a health facial!

The Truth

Anytime Donald Drumpf uses the term 'low IQ' insert whatever the most racist term for that individual applies and you'll know how he really feels about them.

The Truth

Every Republican controlled state/county is an unmitigated shit hole. Blanket statement.

A Malignant And Problematic Curse Upon Jeffrey Martin Landry

Your faggot ass is in serious trouble, Jeff. What goes around comes around.

A Malignant And Problematic Curse Upon Whoever Did This

Those aligned with me know which one of you cowardly sacks of shit keyed my mother's car, and you're going to pay for it far more than you realize. We have numerous ways of making that happen. That's a promise.

The Truth

If I were a Democrat, during every election cycle (from now until the end of time), I would run a montage commercial of Republicans wrecking America (from Nixon to Trump) and finish with the question, "Remember what happened the last time you voted Republican?"

The Truth

Anyone who self identifies with an (R) next to their name is flat out telling you that they're retarded. Balnket statement.

MAGA