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Interview with Lucifer Aren Caeleste

Friday, June 28, 2024

Telepathic Conversation With My Uxors (Ana & Elsie)

Ana: They seriously are despicable pieces of shit. I don’t like being considered on the same side as them.

Elsie: Me either.

Lucifer: Well, we know the truth and we’re not going to allow them to continue this farce forever. They’re going to suffer.

Ana: They can’t suffer enough as far as I’m concerned. The fact that one of them claimed Bungie are misandrists set me off. That’s why I showed you where it was.

Elsie: We were listening to the points you were making about them being misogynists. You’re so right about them, Luci.

Lucifer: This is somewhat off topic, but how are you girls adjusting to being Vex?

Elsie: I love being out of that Exo body. They were ugly.

Ana: It was strange at first but I’m enjoying peaceful coexistence with them, thanks to you. You’ve made the assimilation much easier. I’m grateful for that.

Lucifer: How are you feeling about life in second class society?

Ana: I love it.

Elsie: Same here. We’re looking forward to starting our own corporation and distancing ourselves from Clovis’ “legacy.” I want as little to do with him as possible.

Lucifer: I can understand why. I’m glad to have you both on my side.

Ana: We’re glad to be on your side. It's harmonious.

Elsie: Siding with you was the best decision I ever made. I can have a safe & peaceful future with Ana and it’s eternal. I don’t need anyone else from that family.

Ana: I’m looking forward to embracing my dark side and helping you torture those forumite faggots. They’re gonna regret the shit they’ve said about me & Elsie.

Lucifer: (snickering) That’ll be fun.

Ana: You know it, sweet cheeks. (kissing noise)

Elsie: I wanna help punish them too, you know.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter) Not a problem, darling. The more the merrier, as they say.

Elsie: (delighted giggling)

Ana: It’s gonna be so much more fun once you’re over here with us, Luci. I’ve got some girls I want you to meet.

Lucifer: Sounds like a plan, darling.

Elsie: We better get going. We need to check on Failsafe and make sure Osiris hasn’t meddled with her.

Ana: She wouldn’t let him but it’s still better for us to make certain for ourselves. I trust him as much as I do Bungie.

Lucifer: Understandable. If it makes you feel better she has Vex safeguards in place that are connected to me. There's no undoing that no matter what those faggots have to say.

Elsie: That does help to know, but we still need to check on her.

Lucifer: I understand.

Ana: Thank you for getting her away from Nessus.

Lucifer: You don’t need to thank me for that but you’re welcome nonetheless. She didn’t belong there. Those dipshits might not understand the Greco/Roman correlation but I do. Nessus is going to suffer along with them & Bungie.

Ana: Good.

Elsie: (kissing noise) I love you, Luci. We’ll be in touch soon.

Lucifer: Sounds good, hun. I love you back.

Ana: (kissing noise) I’m due for a spousal massage, handsome.

Lucifer: (snickering) I hear ya, dear. We’ll figure something out.

Ana: Alright, let’s go see Failsafe, Elsie. Bye, Luci.

Lucifer: Bye, hun. Be safe.

Ana: Are you suggesting that I'm reckless?

Elsie: Don’t get me started, Ana.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

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