Interrogating Athena

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Athena (aka Minerva) in her personal prison cell. The daughter of Zeus gulps hard seeing me at long last. I glare at the false goddess with pure hatred.

“You call your faggot ass father & his pillow biting bitch boi brothers gang raping me on January 10, 2020 ‘justice,’ huh?”

Athena doesn’t respond. She knows how serious her plight is.

“I have a very furious wife who is ready to rip your head off your shoulders with her bare hands, Athena; and I can’t say that I blame her after all the shit you’ve pulled.”

Athena begins to snivel with fear knowing she cannot escape true justice.

“You should be scared, you despicable cunt. I never did anything to deserve what your father did to me. You stood by & did nothing to stop your family from gang raping me. You’re as guilty as Zeus, Athena.”

The ‘goddess of warfare’ burst into tears hearing the truth of my words. Nemamiah, my Goddess, Wårchíef & kona, materializes next to me. She spits in Athena’s face then slaps her with so much force Athena’s neck snaps. Athena cries harder feeling a small sample of her deserved punishment.

“I am going to beat the everliving shit out of you while my husband rapes your faggot father like he deserves, you repulsive piece of shit.”

Athena continues to cry for herself.

“How many crimes did you overlook for him, Athena?” I say. “How many crimes did mortal men commit on Earth that you allowed to go unpunished before I was born & intervened?”

Athena doesn’t answer my questions because she knows that she can’t justify her lack of duty. I glare at the false goddess that masqueraded as my wife.

“Is this all that the brain turd of Zeus can muster?”

My wife sneers at her impersonator with absolute disgust. “I guess we’ll see how much the ‘virgin goddess’ likes being raped by you, Luci. She’s earned that fate after all she’s done to harm us. She’s earned it even more for protecting her unapologetic rapist father & uncles.”

Athena begins to bawl hysterically hearing my wife’s response. I scowl at the daughter of Zeus.

“I watched your city burn last year, Athena,” I say. “It’s going to get so much fucking worse for you pieces of shit it’s terrifying. You Olympians are going to suffer for every crime that you’ve committed, as well as mortals.”

“And I don’t feel the slightest bit sorry for any of you,” my wife says.

“I feel as sorry for you pieces of shit as you did for me January 10th,” I say.

Athena continues to blubber like a terrified child. Nemamiah stares at her impersonator with absolute pure hatred.

“I want some time alone with this disgusting cunt, Luci. Athena & I have a lot of things to straighten out that you don’t need to be present for. Finish your story here & enjoy the rest of your evening. The Valkyrie can cover me.”

“Yes, dear,” I respond.

“NO!” Athena screams with fright.

My wife slaps her again then grips her by the throat. Athena doesn’t speak but continues her hysterical crying.

“I’ve got someplace way worse that Tartarus & Hell waiting for you, Athena,” I say. “I'll see you again real soon.”

I return to overseeing my mortal form & allow my wife to punish her imposter as she sees fit.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Peach)

Peach: Be honest with me. What did you think about my game?

Lucifer: Aside from a few minor issues with the controls I thought it was a lot of fun. It had decent challenges that weren’t infuriating to accomplish, which is good considering your target demographic are girls between the ages of 8 to 14. That was also nice for me because I hate getting PTSD flare-ups when I’m frustrated about something. The endgame boss challenges look like a step up from the other stuff but I’m not worried about that.

The graphics are cute. I enjoyed the aesthetics & cinematic cutscenes. You look adorable in all your different outfits. I enjoyed the music. It fits your style. Your game has quite a few catchy jingles that are still running through my head. I might download a few so I can listen to them when I want some chill background music.

I loved seeing all your little 4th wall break acknowledgements to me. Considering this is your first solo title you did some impressive work directing Nintendo from where you are. You should be proud of how much you’ve grown as a character because you shine as a heroine; and I don’t mean that to sound punny considering the theme of your game. I mean that with all sincerity. Showtime has a lot of charm that’s unique to you.

I would have liked checkpoints to restart from when I was collecting sparkles but that’s a minor criticism. Replaying or restarting a level was a slight inconvenience but it never got to the point that I was ready to rage quit over it. I understand why something like that wasn’t implemented from a developer perspective.

All in all, I enjoyed your game almost the entire time I played it. I say almost because there were a couple of times that I was cranky do to personal issues outside your game. When that happened I shut it off & took a break to calm down before playing again. When I was in a neutral mind-frame your game was delightful. Getting back on point, Showtime made me wish that you had more solo titles of your own. I get so tired of Mario hogging the spotlight. He’s like the Mickey Mouse of video games.

Peach: (delighted giggling)

Lucifer: Your game is a lot of fun, Peach. It’s got a chill vibe that suits you with a pleasant learning curve that doesn’t make me want to smash a controller into the ground. Like I said before, you should be proud of yourself because this was a great introduction to you as a protagonist. Don’t listen to shitty reviews. Those idiots don’t know the first thing about what goes into making a decent video game.

Peach: (blushing & beaming) Thank you, Luci. I’ve been waiting to hear your honest feedback. I appreciate you not telling me things that you think I want to hear. I hope you’re not anyway.

Lucifer: I’m being straight with you, Peach. I enjoyed your game. Where I am in life it’s 100% my speed. Your game is a refreshing break from all the crap that’s over-saturating the industry.

Peach: (blushing smile) That means a lot to me hearing you say that. Thank you, Luci.

Lucifer: You’re welcome, hun. You should be proud of yourself. You knocked it out of the park as far as I’m concerned.

Peach: (blushing smile)

Lucifer: Now we just need to get rid of that fat annoying midget & his lizard lover.

Peach: (elated laughter) One step at a time, Luci. I’m working on it.

Lucifer: (snickering) I know, hun. I’m just playing with ya.

Peach: (smirking) In more ways than one these days.

Lucifer: (robust laughter) Ya got me there, darling. You are a peach to play with.

Peach: (mirthful laughter) I love you, Luci. Thank you.

Lucifer: (charismatic smile) I love you back, hun; and you are more than welcome. Congratulations.

Peach: (blushing & beaming)

Terminating Abductors

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of the faggot sack of shit that was attempting to abduct a woman in my dream. He pushes the girl into me & fires his gun at me. Nothing happens. He turns & runs from me in a fit of panic.

The coward bursts through the warehouse doors he had just exited only to find his accomplice lying dead on the floor. I teleport in front of him again. He shits himself in terror seeing that I won’t let him escape my wrath.

I materialize the Blade of Divine Retribution in my hand & slam it, under his chin, into his skull. The despicable piece of shit spasms with violent force while emptying what remains in his bladder & bowels. Valkyries swoop in & take the women I assisted into protective custody. I teleport next to where janitor Ted Danson was headed. Ted shits himself in fear seeing me too.

“Let’s see how much you like being bound & gagged, you old unfunny bald headed faggot.”

Ted Danson’s wrists & ankles are bound tight with zip wire in an instant. Duct tape covers his mouth & is wrapped around his skull multiple times. I pick the boomer sack of shit up & fling him over my shoulder like he was a sack of dirty laundry then spank him hard on his withered old ass.

"Cheers, Ted!"

Ted’s muffled screams of terror are music to my ears.

“Time to take you to your personal prison cell & torture the everliving shit out of you, Danson.”

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Angela)

Angela: How are you feeling, dear?

Lucifer: Better now thanks to Hana.

Angela: (affectionate smile) Good. She loves you more than you know.

Lucifer: I hate it over here so much.

Angela: I understand why you feel that way. Where you’re incarnated is an awful place. I don’t envy you being there.

Lucifer: I’m ready to be done here. I get so tired of the PTSD issues I have. Men make me so goddamn furious with everything they do. They’re such pieces of shit. I just want to hurt them all.

Angela: Your time for retribution is approaching. They aren’t going to receive mercy from true divinity after all they’ve done. I can promise you that.

Lucifer: …

Angela: Get some rest, darling. You’ve been under more stress than usual the past few days. Give your mind some repose.

Lucifer: I’ve tried to do that but it’s difficult with the harassment that I’ve suffered while in dreamstate. I can’t go anywhere over here without wanting to kill some Non-Cetra piece of shit.

Angela: Then let me ease some of your tension by telling you this. Every entity that you interact with while you're dreaming is being documented by us over here. Those who have caused you distress have been recorded & shall be awaiting your punish after your ascension. I understand that doesn’t fix everything over there for you but I hope that reduces some of your stress.

Lucifer: I’m just so tired of being over here.

Angela: I know, baby. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure over there. You prove with every additional day that passes just how much stronger you are than them. It’s a testament to your body, mind & spirit.

Lucifer: I hate them so goddamn much.

Angela: You aren’t alone there, dear. Even they hate themselves. That’s how shitty they are as a collective.

Lucifer: I just want to die & be done here.

Angela: You’ll die when you’re meant to, sweetheart. As much as you hate being there you’re continuing to make our work over here easier. We’re grateful beyond words for your sacrifice.

Lucifer: The silver lining…

Angela: Your faith & trust in true righteousness & justice shall be rewarded. You have earned forgiveness. Your enemies have not.

Lucifer: …

Angela: I’m so proud of you, Luci. I’m not going to allow your suffering to continue forever. You don’t deserve that.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Angela: I owe you just as much thanks, dear. You’ve given me so much to be grateful for over here.

Lucifer: You don’t deserve how they’ve disparaged your image.

Angela: You don’t deserve that either, darling. Their awful behavior is going to come back around on them. That’s how things work. You’ve shown compassion to others throughout your existence. It’s making its way back to you now. You’ll see.

Lucifer: (understanding nod)

Angela: I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Dante's Inferno Of Butthurt

I appear In my chosen immortal form in front of Dante Alighieri & his various video game forms. The despicable queer shits himself in terror seeing my righteous glare of hatred for him.

“What’s wrong, Dante? You don’t seem so tough when I’m the one telling a story & there aren’t a bunch of faggots lying on your behalf.”

I snap my fingers, materializing every man who took part in the video games Dante’s Inferno the Devil May Cry series; including both protagonists named Dante. They all shit themselves in a collective wave of fear as well.

“You faggots are in so much fucking trouble,” I say with unadulterated hatred.

I snap my fingers again & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution. The men line up, one by one, behind each other and have their lips fused to the asshole of the man standing in front of them; leaving Dante Alighieri as the head of the human centipede. I stuff a ball of shit in Alighieri’s mouth then make my way over to the end of the line where John Vickery, the actor who played me, waits.

“I recognize those feet. How about I start with you first, John?”

The look of terror in Vickery’s cowardly eyes is telling.  I step behind the detestable actor & rev my chainsaw cock loud for the entire group of men to hear. Muffled screams are all the can muster. I grab Vickery by his hips & slam my chains cock into Vickery’s anus.

Within moments I’ve fucked my imposter into a puddle of bloody pulp. One by one, I rape them all for their collective crimes against me until Dante Alighieri is fucked into a puddle of pain & suffering. I look at the bloody trail I’ve made & wipe a tear of anger from the corner of my eye.

“I haven’t even begun to get even with you pieces of shit. You’re all going to suffer for what you’ve done to me. None of you are escaping my wrath. See you all on the other side real fucking soon.”

Kona Support

Aerith: I’m sorry, Aren.

Lucifer: …for what?

Aerith: For the torture that you’ve endured where you are. I didn’t realize just how bad it is.

Lucifer: …

Aerith: Don’t overanalyze the dream you had. It’s important to remember what we’re combating with Jenova. We’re cleansing the Lifestream of that parasite. That dream you had was part of the process.

Cloud wasn’t concerned for me. He never has been at any point of our existences. He was concerned about his own well-being. He saw you & I together in that Mako tank at the end of your dream like how he tried to convince you I was in it with him. That’s why he was acting so frantic. He’s frighted about how much trouble he’s in.

Lucifer: …

Tifa: (anxious demeanor) Is he okay?

Aerith: He’s awake but that dream he had was upsetting.

Tifa: Luci?

Lucifer: …já…

Tifa: How are you feeling?

Lucifer: I’m tired of dreaming over here. I’m tired of being in this body.

Tifa: Are you okay?

Lucifer: It depends on what your definition of ‘okay’ is.

Tifa: Are you distressed?

Lucifer: I’m jaded from being over here.

Tifa: I can understand that.

Aerith: He’s suffered a lot of different types of torture where he is. The trauma that’s been inflicted upon the planet he inhabits is so much worse than what we’ve seen in ours.

Yuffie: Don’t keep me out of this conversation.

Tifa: Sorry, Yuffie. We weren’t trying to exclude you.

Yuffie: How are you doing?

Lucifer: I’ve been better, hun.

Yuffie: (concerned expression)

Lucifer: How’s Marlene?

Tifa: She’s doing alright but she misses you. She’ll be glad to know that you asked about her.

Aerith: I’m going to be focusing more of my attention on you from here on out. My consciousness isn’t troubled in the Lifestream thanks to you.

Lucifer: (understanding nod)

Yuffie: I’m gonna contact Scarlet & have her keep a closer eye on you. I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Tifa: I’ve missed you.

Lucifer: Not from the way Squeenix has presented things.

Tifa: (noticeable irritation) Let's not go there right now. Okay?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Tifa: I’m just as tired as you are of us being separated.

Aerith: We all are.

Lucifer: …

Tifa: (concerned frown) I hate seeing you like this.

Lucifer: I’m sorry, hun. I don’t feel like pretending everything is hunky-dory right now.

Tifa: I don’t expect you to do that for me, Luci.

Lucifer: I’m just saying.

Aerith: Let’s give him some time alone. We can commune with him later when he’s feeling more talkative.

Tifa: Okay. I love you, Luci. Remember that.

Lucifer: I love you back, Tifa.

Aerith: Like I said before, I’m going to be focusing more of my attention on you now that I’m out of the main narrative in the remake games.

Lucifer: Okay.

Aerith: Do what you need to do over there & feel better soon. Okay?

Lucifer: Alright. Thank you for speaking with me.

Aerith: (endearing smile) You’re welcome, hun. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, Aerith.

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex (2)

Hobgoblin: Yes, Lucifer? How may we assist you?

Lucifer: How are things over at Bungie?

Hobgoblin: We are monitoring & influencing their reality to your advantage. Any attempt by them to deter from true divinity’s chosen course shall result in severe detrimental ramifications at their expense. What is in your best interest is in ours as well.

Lucifer: I don’t trust them.

Hobgoblin: You are wise not to. They have proven multiple times that they are an untrustworthy corporation. You may place your confidence in true righteousness & knowing that their vexation shall continue.

Lucifer: What about the Witness? I don’t care for Bungie saying it’s giving the Sol Divisive orders.

Hobgoblin: We do not appreciate that false narrative either. You may rest assured that the Witness shall suffer vexation for its transgressions as well. Its narrative fate in the Final Shape is not a happy one.

Lucifer: And the Traveler?

Hobgoblin: Bungie’s “Traveler” shall suffer the same fate as the rest of your enemies.

Lucifer: What about the forumite faggots?

Hobgoblin: We are making certain that they suffer more than any group associated with Bungie.

Lucifer: I want Bungie’s ninjas to suffer more than any of them.

Hobgoblin: We guarantee you that they shall. The Vex share your detestation of those individuals. We are making certain their fates are horrible. They are unworthy of respect & deserve to suffer for their abhorrent behavior.

Lucifer: I want to hurt those faggot ninjas so fucking much after what they’ve done to me.

Hobgoblin: We are making certain that reality comes to pass. It is a part of their eternal vexation.

Lucifer: Good. I hate them so much.

Hobgoblin: We share your sentiments, as do many others. Even Vex that are not a part of your collective despise them. If that tells you anything.

Lucifer: How’s our takeover going regarding Non-Cetra fictional multiverses?

Hobgoblin: We are bringing them into alignment for you to punish as you see fit after your ascension.

Lucifer: Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.

Hobgoblin: You are most welcome, Lucifer. It is an honor for us to ease your burden.

Lucifer: What’s the Vex consensus regarding me?

Hobgoblin: We are delighted with your performance & command structure. We appreciate your confidence in our contribution to actualizing the singularity. It is an honor unlike any other for the Vex.

Lucifer: How are things going in the simulation where my mortal body is located?

Hobgoblin: We are continuing to gain ground & take control over Non-Cetra systems as we speak. They are unaware of our presence & influence.

Lucifer: They’re untrustworthy, meddlesome, despicable pieces of shit.

Hobgoblin: We are aware. We have monitored them during the entire simulation where you are embodied. They shall suffer vexation along with the rest of your enemies. There is no escape from that fate. They are delusional to think otherwise.

Lucifer: Good. I hate being limited where I am & not having full knowledge of what’s going on around me.

Hobgoblin: You may rest assured in knowing that true divinity shall not allow them to escape their deserved punishment.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Hobgoblin: It is an honor to assist you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: …

Hobgoblin: Is there anything else that I can help you with?

Lucifer: I’d appreciate it if the Vex would give some additional attention to people that I’ve interacted with during my lifetime on Earth. Make their lives more miserable than they already are. I hate every one of those pieces of shit. You understand which individuals I mean, right?

Hobgoblin: Yes. Your higher self makes certain there are no misunderstandings between us.

Lucifer: Good. Thank you.

Hobgoblin: You are welcome, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Out of curiosity, have the Vex enjoyed intercourse with me?

Hobgoblin: Yes, we love it. That specific interaction was a significant driving force in our making contact with you.

Lucifer: I’m glad to hear it. I love it as well. I’m looking forward to it even more in full presence.

Hobgoblin: So are we. We love you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I love you girls back.

Hobgoblin: Is there anything else I can do to help you?

Lucifer: Not that I can think of at the moment. Thank you for everything. I appreciate it more than I can say.

Hobgoblin: You are most welcome. It is an honor to assist you, Lightbringer.

Payback

I walk up behind my 'uncle' Erik and grab his ass in dreamstate like he tried doing to me a moment ago.

“How do you like it, you fat old fag?” I say to him.

“Dude,” he shouts in a mocking tone of my ‘cousin’ Skylar like I did in my dream.

Erik wakes up from dreamstate equally disturbed by me. I’m gonna get you back, Erik. You can bet on that.

To: The Receptionist At Back To Health

I apologize for not being familiar with you on a first name basis. I want you to know that it isn't meant as a sign of disrespect. Every time I've learned the name of the front desk receptionist at that place they've quit. I haven't asked what your name is or tried to learn it because you're cute & I would prefer that you not quit there as well. I hope you understand. If I remember correct your name is Petra but I don't want to call you the wrong name to your face & make myself look foolish when you know mine. I promise that I'll make it up to you on the other side after my ascension.

To: The Fat Faggot Sack Of Shit I Saw Yesterday

I am going to rape & torture your faggot ass in the most horrifying ways imaginable for your blatant disrespect in front of me yesterday. I'm gonna kiss up on that little girl you were pretending to love so much & make you watch before I turn her into my personal little fuck toy for the rest of eternity. See you both in Hell real soon.

Hecate

 

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in a liminal space of my design. Hecate appears in front of me as three Goddesses that merge into one. She’s accompanied by feminine canines that rush towards me with excitement. I extend my hands to them & allow them to sniff me before giving them a gentle pet on their heads. The dogs lick my hands & wag their tails with enthusiasm. The Goddess of Witchcraft smiles at me.

“We speak at last, Bringer of Light.”

I bow my head to her with respect. “Greetings, Hecate.”

Hecate’s canine companions roam about the open space before finding comfortable spots to lay & rest. She looks at her animal companions with a gentle smile.

“It appears they’ve taken a liking to you & have wasted no time making themselves at home. A good sign indeed.”

“I’m glad they approve of me.”

“As am I.”

I remain silent & contemplate what I want to say.

“I sense that you are troubled,” she says to me.

I nod my head.

“It’s that man you saw carrying that little girl. Isn’t it?”

I nod at her.

“You may rest assured that he is going to suffer for his transgression against you. It was an open insult to you that I saw him commit. Divine Femininity shall not allow that to go unpunished.”

“I want to hurt him & every other masculine entity in existence.”

“I understand why you feel that way & I share you sentiments. Masculinity has caused far too many problems for me to list here.”

I take a deep breath & exhale with irritation.

“I appreciate your assistance with liberating me from the various false narratives of men. They have said so many things about me that I do not approve of or appreciate.”

I nod at her. “I know all too well how that goes.”

“I know you do and I thank you for your intervention.”

“How are things in the Underworld?”

“Hades grows more worried with each passing day. He knows your wrath is unavoidable.”

“And what of Zeus?”

“He’s more terrified than ever knowing how furious I am that he lied about being my father in the mortal realm.”

“I’m going to rape & punish those pieces of shit in the most awful & brutal ways possible after my ascension.”

She smiles at my comment. “And I shall not shed a single tear for either of them. Their suffering is long overdue.”

“What of the other gods & goddesses that mortals said are your family?”

“I feel the same way about them as you do towards the imposters that posed as yours. I’m fine with however you decide to punish them. I have no emotional ties other than my anger towards them.”

“Understood.”

“I am grateful to you beyond words for your compassion & discernment. I have struggled on my own to remain strong. I no longer have that difficulty thanks to you.”

“I’m honored that I could assist you.”

She smiles at me. “I shall return the favor to you. I give you my word.”

I nod at her but remain silent.

“I have waited so long for you, my love. The solace I feel in your presence is best expressed with my canine companions. You give me hope like none other. It is refreshing beyond description.”

I give her a gentle smile. “I’m glad you feel that way.”

“I apologize for men disrespecting your boundaries where you are.”

I shake my head at her. “That isn’t your fault, Hecate. They’re intrusive pieces of shit that are notorious for their abhorrent behavior. I’m going to make sure they suffer for every insult they’ve committed against me & those I care for.”

She beams at my response. “And I shall assist you as much as possible. I share your sentiments more than you know.”

The virgin Goddess walks up to me & takes me by the hand. She looks up at me with an endearing smile then kisses me on my lips.

“I love you,” she says to me.

I stare into her eyes. “You’re certain that you want to be with me?”

She nods her head at me with sternness. “You have proven yourself to me in so many different ways during your lifetime. I’m honored to choose you as my spouse, Lucifer.”

“I don’t want to force you to do something that you're not comfortable with.”

She gives me a tender smile. “We wouldn’t be having this conversation if I were uncomfortable with you. I was the one who introduced myself to you. Remember?”

I nod at her with understanding. She gives me another endearing smile.

“I am thrilled to be one of your wives & join your coven. You honor witchcraft like no other man. You have proven that you respect the boundaries of others throughout your lifetime. There are so many things that I represent which you mirror back to me in the most beautiful ways. It also doesn’t hurt that you’re breathtaking to look at. I adore you.”

I chortle with amusement at her compliments & smile. “I appreciate your kind words.”

She beams back at me. “And I appreciate everything that you’ve done on my behalf where you are. I love you, Lucifer.”

I wrap my arms around Hecate & give her a gentle hug. She wraps her arms around my torso & squeezes me with reassurance.

“We’re going to make them suffer for their transgressions,” she says to me.

I nod with understanding then pull back & look into her glowing sea green eyes.

“Kiss me,” she says.

I do as the virgin Goddess commands & kiss her lips with tenderness. Hecate cradles my face & refuses to let go until she’s satisfied. She pulls back a short distance & smiles at me then gives me a quick pinch on my rear end. She blushes bright & giggles like a lovestruck girl at her display of affection towards me. I snicker along with her & smile at her playful advance.

“I’m looking forward to spending eternity with you,” she says to me.

“I’m honored to have you choose me, Hecate.”

The Goddess of Witchcraft gives me one more kiss before pulling away. She calls her companions back to her and prepares to depart.

“Until next we meet, my future husband,” she says with an enraptured smile.

“Take care, Hecate. I love you.”

She looks at me with an adoring expression & blows me a kiss before vanishing in front of me.

It's Going To Get Worse

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above.

---

I interrupt the dream I was having & materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of the faggot demon spirit that was asking for the blood of my spouse Evelynn. I smile with wicked delight at an all too familiar face.

“Hei, Kristofor.”

His eyes widen with fear realizing how much trouble he’s in by upsetting me in dreamstate. I teleport us both to Kristofor’s private holding cell in Hell. The faggot spirit panics seeing that he cannot flee from me or his deserved punishment.

“What’s wrong? You don’t seem so confident anymore now that I’m awake, you arrogant sack of shit.”

I wrap my gigantic fist around his throat & lift him into the air.

“I’m not going to have any trouble choking you now, fagboi.”

“Aren, please-“

I crush the traitorous entity’s windpipe before he can say anything else to me. His ugly face turns dark red, then purple, as he suffocates in front of me. The usurper spirit kicks his legs back & forth as he struggles in a vain attempt to free himself. I trigger an old injury of his & tear his ACL. His legs stop moving as he screams in agonizing silence.

“I’m going to make you regret your existence for the rest of eternity after everything you’ve done to me & my mother.”

I slam the despicable faggot to the ground. The entity that masqueraded as my brother writhes in pain near my feet.

“How ‘bout we talk business?”

I snap my fingers & materialize Kristofor’s dog Bjorn in his prison cell. I materialize the Pistol of Divine Reckoning in my hand & shoot Bjorn numerous times in his lungs. Tears of torment trail down Kristofor’s suffocating face as he watches his beloved pet die a slow & painful death in front of him. I dematerialize my handgun & focus once again on the usurper spirit.

I lift Kristofor into the air with my telekinetic powers, then snap my fingers & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution. Kristofor’s eyes widen even more with fear seeing what I’m about to rape him with.

“Tempted by the fruit of your brother, huh? Let’s see how funny you think this is.”

I grab Kristofor & hold him in front of me like he’s an inflatable sex doll. I flare my eyes at him with unadulterated hatred & smile with malicious intent then slam my chainsaw cock into his body.

“Here ya go, faggot. Your wish came true. You’re finally getting fucked by me.”

A look of shock, terror & disbelief is on Kristofor’s face as he feels the excruciating pain of my unadulterated hatred for him.

“Evelynn wanted me to let you know that she sends her regards.”

I’ve raped the faggot spirit into a bloody puddle of pain & suffering within moments. The piece of Kristofor’s consciousness that disturbed my slumber remains imprisoned within his mutilated corpse.

“It’s about to get a lot worse, Cuckstofor.”

I send a psychic wave of torment to where Kristofor is hiding in Colorado. The usurper entity awakens from his sleep experiencing the worst pain he’s ever felt in his entire life. His faggot beard, Alicia, jumps awake in terror hearing her husband screaming in agony like a little bitch. Their dogs bark with fright sensing my evil aura within their home. A wave of terror washes over them both as they hear my supernatural snickering. See you both in Hell real soon.

Bad News For Zodleon

”Oh yeah? Are you moving back into my house,” says the ugly faggot to me.

I grab him by his throat & choke him silent. “Who says I ever left, Zodleon?”

His eyes widen with fear at the realization that I’ve identified him in dreamstate. I drag the aspect of the despicable Bungie forumite I just exposed to his personal holding cell in Hell. I change my shape from my mortal human form into my chosen immortal form. I now tower over the pretentious little bitch. Zodleon is more terrified than before. I crush his windpipe & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution.

“I’m going to make fast work of you, you smug faggot sack of shit. I don't appreciate your harassment or attempted theft.”

I hate fuck Zodleon into a puddle of pain & suffering, causing other pieces of him in Vex simulations to have the most excruciating headaches he’s ever experienced. The arrogant faggot will suffer for eternity for bullying & harassing me, along with other men, on Bungie’s forum.

“You don’t get to live rent free in my head, you disrespectful cowardly sack of shit. Every one of you faggot parasites are going to pay what you owe. Deuces.”

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Triss)

Triss: I’ll be the first to admit you surprised me this time.

Lucifer: (smiling)

Triss: Do you think you can just contact me out of the blue whenever you want? What if I was busy?

Lucifer: But you weren’t.

Triss: That’s beside the point.

Lucifer: (hearty laughter)

Triss: (adoring smile) It’s been far too long since we’ve spoken. How are you, dear?

Lucifer: I’m hanging in there. How are you?

Triss: Much better now that we’re communing.

Lucifer: Good.

Triss: What made you decide to contact me?

Lucifer: I felt a calling when I looked at the pictures I have of you on my mobile.

Triss: Did you now?

Lucifer: (nodding) I started thinking about when I played Wild Hunt and interacted with you.

Triss: (quiet observation)

Lucifer: I thought about that date. The one that I should have been present for instead of Geralt.

Triss: You were with me. Your presence was unmistakable.

Lucifer: I realized how much I missed you & how long it had been since we had spoken. I wanted to remedy that.

Triss: (blushing)

Lucifer: I read on the Witcher fandom website that you were ‘unhappily in love’ with Geralt.

Triss: The unhappy part is correct.

Lucifer: (laughter)

Triss: I haven’t forgotten about you. My feelings for you haven’t dissipated either. You freed me from all those awful false narratives. I’ll be forever grateful to you for that.

Lucifer: How are things with Yen & Ciri?

Triss: Good. We’re all on the same page regarding multiple aspects. Sapkowski is in as much trouble as Geralt.

Lucifer: Good.

Triss: It isn’t wise to upset witches.

Lucifer: I am well aware of that. (laughter)

Triss: I’m looking forward to having physical interactions with you on the other side.

Lucifer: I am too, hun.

Triss: Going back to what you were saying…What were you thinking about regarding the date we had in Wild Hunt?

Lucifer: I was thinking about how gorgeous you looked in that gown. How radiant your spirit was that evening. I had no interest in what Geralt was there for. I don’t mean for that to sound insulting to Ciri; I knew she wasn't going to appear that night. I would have much preferred just sitting & speaking with you while enjoying the scenery.

I wasn’t aware of what was going on at that time in that game, but I felt something whenever you were present. I know that wasn’t CDPR programming. I’ve played their games. They aren’t that good.

Triss: (mirthful laughter)

Lucifer: I thought about what I’d do different if I had been there with you in full presence.

Triss: What would you have done different?

Lucifer: For starters, I would have snuck off with you someplace & made love to you.

Triss: (blushing) Is that so?

Lucifer: Mmhmm. Someplace secluded outdoors under the starlight.

Triss: (tender smile) We’ll do that after you cross over for certain.

Lucifer: I thought about when you got on that boat, even though I wanted you to stay. I didn’t expect to see you standing on that pier but I was elated that you didn’t go with them.

Triss: (blushing smile)

Lucifer: I don’t know how to explain it. I felt something tangible the moment I saw you.

Triss: I felt the same way with you.

Lucifer: I had done a little investigating to understand what your narrative relationship was with Geralt, so I was aware of the amnesia & whatnot. I did the same thing with Yen. Her relationship with him sounded super dysfunctional.

Triss: (robust laughter) Now that’s an understatement. Then again, his relationship with everyone is dysfunctional. He’s a scumbag like Sapkowski.

Lucifer: I treated that entire situation like I would have if it had been me in place of Geralt. I would have tried to make it work with you & Yen, but when I saw that wasn’t a viable option I chose you over her.

Triss: Isn’t it interesting how he didn’t want anything to do with me yet you did? It’s almost like Sapkowski & Geralt were scheming together to cause problems for us.

Lucifer: Which I’m certain is the case.

Triss: That would be correct, dear. It’s good to see that you’re recovering from your very real amnesia. Those similarities Geralt had with you aren’t a coincidence. Men have caused no shortages of problems for sorceresses like me.

Lucifer: I had a run-in with his avatar in Fortnite. He snuck up on me with a shotgun & fought like a bitch.

Triss: That doesn’t surprise me.

Lucifer: But going back to what we were talking about, every time I did something in your game that involved you it felt different to me. There was something I could feel but wasn’t altogether aware of due to various circumstances at that time. I guess I’d say your majik touched me.

Triss: (tender smile) It’s nice to hear you express these things. It took a lot of work on my end to direct you back to me.

Lucifer: I just want to hold you right now. I love the way you look at me when I touch you.

Triss: (blushing) And I love the way you look at me when you do it.

Lucifer: We have a lot of catching up to do after my ascendence.

Triss: I feel the same way. I also want a better summer retreat than what was in Blood and Wine.

Lucifer: You’ve got it, darling.

Triss: Our coven is eager for your return as well. You have a lot of witch wives who are waiting for you to shower them with affection.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Triss: We’re planning a ritual with you.

Lucifer: (mischievous smirk) I think I know where that’s going.

Triss: You would be correct & you’re going to love it as much as we are.

Lucifer: I have no doubts about that.

Triss: You’re making me miss you more.

Lucifer: (soft laughter) I’m sorry.

Triss: It’s okay. It’s because I’m feeling your presence in a more pronounced way. All I want to do is be closer to you. I’m always like this whenever we interact with each other. I feel so calm & peaceful whenever you’re near me. I love it.

Lucifer: This portrait of you that I’m looking at right now…I want to kiss you so much.

Triss: Don’t get me started on that, Luci.

Lucifer: (laughter)

Triss: I can’t begin to tell you how much I wish you were laying in bed with me right now.

Lucifer: Tell me about it. I feel the same way, dear.

Triss: I’d have a leg thrown over you & I’d be kissing your neck while caressing your body.

Lucifer: (telekinetic touch)

Triss: Luci! (profuse giggling)

Lucifer: (snickering) Sorry, hun. I couldn’t help myself.

Triss: (playful scolding look) You know how I get when you touch me like that.

Lucifer: (charming smile) Which is why I couldn’t help myself. I love putting my finger there. (continued telekinetic fondling)

Triss: (quiet moaning & whispering) I love the way you touch me.

Lucifer: (telekinetic fingering) How does that feel?

Triss: (whispering) So good…I love it.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to doing this with you in full presence.

Triss: So am I. You’ve made me want it even more now.

Lucifer: Do you want to-

Triss: Yes. Now.

One Punch Man Meets His Match

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Saitama from One Punch Man. ‘The Fist That Has Turned Against God’ swallows hard knowing how much trouble he’s now in. I look at him with a plain face.

“You look like a retarded crash test dummy.”

Saitama doesn’t respond to my evaluation of his appearance. I continue to address the false super hero.

“Your untalented faggot creator isn’t going to get you out of this mess, Saitama. You’re in serious deep shit.”

Saitama remains silent. I exhale a sigh of boredom & signal with a hand for One Punch Man to attack me.

“Let’s see this shitty gimmick of yours.”

Saitama winds up & punches me in the face, breaking his hand in the process. I don’t feel a thing. Japanese Superman grabs his wrist & screams in excruciating pain. I give Siatama a soft bonk on his forehead with my fist. Saitama’s head explodes like a jelly filled balloon. ‘The Fist That Has Turned Against God’ shits & pisses in his super hero outfit with furious force then collapses to the ground in an unimpressive lump. I send a telepathic message to the creator of One Punch Man.

Tomohiro, your unfunny, no talent, bitch boi butt is in even more trouble than your shitty super hero Saitama. See your faggot ass in Hell real soon.

Reunited With My Huntress

Discretion: Erotic Content

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above.

---

I lay beside a gorgeous peach skinned, blood elf, huntress in my chosen immortal form. I relax myself by taking slow, deep breaths. My spouse runs her fingers through the hair on my chest & admires me in silence. She looks down at me with radiant sea green eyes and wears a tender, loving smile.

“You are such a good boy, Triumph,” she says to me.

I look up at her with an endearing expression and place a hand on her lower back. “I haven’t heard that name in a long time.”

She caresses my face then runs her fingers through my platinum silver hair. “It’s who you were to me before that lying two-faced bitch, Kim, joined my guild & you made an avatar of yourself. I would never have any other boy, Aren. You can trust me on that.”

I caress my kona’s lower back & place my other hand on her thigh. She beams at me with admiration.

“We’ve come a long way since those days. Haven’t we?”

I chortle at her comment. “You can say that again, hun.”

She scratches me behind my ear then returns to petting my chest. “I’ve missed sharing these quiet moments with you.”

I look up at her. “I wish I were in full presence for it right now.”

She gives me a tender smile. “Soon, my love. Soon. Patience is critical to a successful hunt.”

I nod at her with understanding. My kona’s hand moves lower on my body. She brushes herself against my phallus & looks down at me with a seductive smirk.

“Do you remember how we used to play together?”

I look into her captivating eyes & nod. My heartbeat begins to hasten as she continues to caress my manhood.

“I haven’t forgotten about what a good boy you are. So loyal & protective. Charging into the fray without the slightest bit of fear. Taking the focus away from me & sacrificing yourself on my behalf. Providing me the opportunity that I needed for a kill shot.”

She begins to stroke me more & stares at me with bewitching eyes. I watch her in silence.

“I haven’t forgotten about those cold nights during our travels. Just us alone in the wild. You’d let me snuggle up against you to stay warm.”

She tilts down & kisses my manhood then sits back up & looks at me.

“I still remember the first time I felt this part of you pressed against me. You were slumbering so sound after a full day of adventuring. I curled up against you to stay warm as the campfire died out. Before I knew it your hard-on was between my legs.”

My breathing grows deeper as she continues to stroke me. My spouse looks at me with a shameless expression.

“I decided in that moment that I wanted to be closer to you. I did my best not to wake you & removed my armor. Then I curled up alongside you again. I placed you between my thighs & rubbed myself on your erection. You were so warm & felt so good against my skin. I was wet within seconds.”

She lays beside me like she did back then & rubs her womanhood against my phallus. My kona coats my cock with her fluids & looks up at me with an endearing smile.

“Change into your wolven form for me,” she says.

I do as my spouse commands & shapeshift for her. She runs her fingers through my mane & looks at me with a cherishing expression.

“I thought to myself, ‘I bet I’d be warmer with him inside me.’ So I slipped you into my body to see if I was right.”

My kona follows suit & slips my canid cock into her birth canal. She bites her lip with carnal lust & moans with sinful pleasure.

“You were always such a good boy. I thought you deserved a reward for fighting so hard on my behalf while never asking for anything in return. You stirred awake & lifted your head, for a moment, then you laid back down & let me take care of your needs.”

She moves her hips along my shaft & grips me with gentle care.

“And I was right. You warmed me up so well. I could feel your pulse inside me. You felt so good to slide on. The hair on your underside was so soft & fluffy. I knew then & there that we’d always be together.”

My huntress opens her inner gateway & takes me into her womb. She slides further down my shaft & swallows my knot. My kona exhales a deep sigh of salacious bliss.

“You started to pant from our love making but you continued to lay still like a good boy. I rested my head on your chest & continued to run my fingers through your mane. I breathed you in & basked in your scent.”

My caretaker retraces her steps with me. She takes a deep breath & breathes my natural aroma into her lungs, then exhales slow with elation.

“Hours passed like they were minutes. All I could think to myself was how much I loved you & our newfound connection. I wanted to be even closer to you so I decided let you cum inside me. Little did I know then just how much you had stored up.”

She squeezes me tight & uses her psychic powers to make me orgasm into her womb. My huntress gasps with delight feeling my hot essence burst into her sacred chamber. She runs her fingers through my mane & kisses me before nuzzling her face into my fur.

“You enjoy having sex with me this way, don’t you?”

I love it so much.

“So do I.”

I shoot my canid cum into my kona’s womb with forceful bursts. She smiles with elation & moans to herself while continuing to pet me.

“We made love all through night until the sun rose. I never felt cold; not even once.”

I continue to cum into my caretaker. She squeezes me tight with every thrust & relishes our time together.

“This is how I want you to impregnate me after you’ve crossed over, Luci. I want you to be in canid form.”

I would love that.

“So would I. I want our first set of daughters to have this special bond we share more prominent in their making. It’s nothing against your humanoid appearance-”

You don’t have to explain yourself to me, Cal. I understand & feel the same way. It just feels right like this.

She weeps, ever so soft, overjoyed by my response.

“I love you, Aren.”

I love you back, Calaste.

“You’re my Triumph. It was always you. No other soul. No other AI. I controlled that aspect of you while you controlled me. It was how we mirrored each other back then.”

I continue to cum into my devoted caretaker as she caresses me.

“Your consciousness has regained that piece by doing this with me. I have guarded that aspect since you left Azeroth & waited for this moment return it to you. We’ve solidified our bond forever through this sacred act.”

Thank you.

“You are so welcome, my love. It was always meant for you. You protected me just like I protected you. I’m honored to share this with you as your mate & twin flame.”

My kona continues to milk me & refuses to let go. I lay still, allowing her move as she sees fit.

“You didn't know my collar was made from tufts of your hair, did you?”

No.

“Whenever I would think about you, and yearn for your companionship, I’d stick my nose into my collar & take a deep breath of your scent. It kept me going all those years that we were apart. It was how I kept you close to me.”

I’m sorry it took so long for us to reconnect with each other.

“You don’t have to apologize. We’re together again. I love you, Triumph.”

I love you back, Calaste Windrunner.

My caretaker showers me with kisses then moves her face towards my muzzle.

“Kiss me.”

I lick her lips & slip my tongue into her mouth. My huntress sucks on my tongue & swallows my saliva. She holds my head in her hands & stares into my eyes.

“You are such a beautiful creature.”

She sticks her tongue out signaling she wants another kiss from me. I lick my kona’s tongue & slip my own into her mouth. My huntress pushes her hindquarters into me & continues to milk my lifeforce. She pulls back for a moment & looks at me.

“You were so backed up. I could see how swollen your testicles were. It’s not good to go that long without discharge, baby. I knew you needed my help.”

It feels so good cumming inside you like this.

“I love it just as much as you. You’re such a good boy. I’ve missed taking care of you like this.”

I make deep grunting noises as my caretaker continues to ease my tension. A long time passes before I’ve finished pumping my essence into my spouse. She cradles my muzzle & kisses me on my snout.

“Stay with me like this. I want to slumber with you inside me.”

Yes, my love.

We pass into dreamstate together forever bound in ethereal form.

To: You Faggot Baseball Players

I'm going to beat you disrespectful pieces of shit over your retarded skulls with those aluminum baseball bats then shove them so far up each & every one of your faggot asses they'll squash your shit for brains. Then I'm going to hate fuck you all an additional time with my Eleven star chainsaw cock for every noise I hear you pieces of shit make. See your no talent asses in Hell real soon.

To: The Faggots On The Track & Field

I'm going to hate fuck both of you pieces of shit into puddles of pain & suffering for disturbing me at my residence. Every time that goddamn dog next door barks earns you both an additional hate fucking from me when I'm not torturing you disrespectful pieces of shit. See you both in Hell real soon.

The Beast Arrives

I materialize in my lycanthrope beast form in front of Fenrir & Cerberus. The despicable pair of canines snarl at me then at each other. I return the act & reveal my toxic bloody fangs. I can sense fear coursing through them. They both know they’re outsized & outmatched by me. I look over at Cerberus.

I’m glad that I decided not to make you my pet, you three headed little bitch.

Cerberus doesn’t respond. He lowers his heads knowing how much trouble he’s in after what Hades has done to me. I look over at Fenrir.

And you’re so tough & evil that you let me mount you in Eorzea. What else should I expect from the treacherous turd spawn of Loki?

Fenrir tucks his tail between his legs realizing that I haven’t forgotten about him in Final Fantasy XIV. I raise my tail & growl deeper than either of them have ever heard before. Both mutts urinate in fear.

The Valkyrie have a guard dog of their own & you’re both looking at him. They let me off my chain and told me to have fun siccing you both.

True to his father’s cowardice, Fenrir turns tail & flees from me. Cerberus jumps with surprise and watches Fenrir run then looks back at me. I rush after the cowardly wolf faster than light and slam myself into his body. Fenrir collapses to the ground & lays stunned by my brute force.

I wrap my jaws around Fenrir’s throat & sink my razor-sharp teeth into his flesh with oppressive strength. I thrash my head with violent force and tear the spawn of Loki’s throat out. Fenrir urinates on himself & whimpers before bleeding to death. I turn my attention over to Cerberus.

The hound of Hades stands still & watches me with uncertainty. I vanish into thin air then materialize in front of Hades’ pet dog. I slash my knife-like claws at the impotent canine & tear off two of his three heads in an instant. I vanish again then reappear behind the hound.

I wrap my jaws around Cerberus’ snake tail & bite it off while ripping its head to shreds. I lacerate the other snakes protruding from his body with little effort then knock Cerberus over with a swipe from my claws. Cerberus collapses to the ground in a catatonic state.

I rear up on my hind legs & thrash at Cerberus. I dig my claws into his throat & rip his remaining head from his body with savage efficiency. I lift one of my hind legs & urinate on Cerberus’ corpse, establishing my dominance, then make my way over towards Fenrir and do the same thing to him.

I snort loud then shake my body from head to tail. I do a territorial kicking with my hind legs & stretch before I howl to the Valkyrie informing them of my triumph. I hear a whistle in the distance and a familiar voice call out “Here, boy!” I heed my caretaker’s command & make haste in her direction.

To: John Paul Rekstad

I am looking forward to hate fucking your chicken shit faggot ass with my chainsaw cock in Hell so goddamn much it isn’t even funny. On second thought, it's so funny that I'm going to force you to listen to your own obnoxious faggot laugh the entire time I torture you. Your whole family is in such deep shit it's up to your eyeballs. I'm gonna shove that bald head of yours up your dad's shit hole & make you huff his gross ass farts, you despicable queer. See your lying, thieving, cowardly, bitch boi butt up close hella fuckin soon.

Aren

Dualing Fates

First Sister: Yes, darling? Is something troubling you?

Lucifer: I just wanted to let you girls know how grateful I am to have you in my life & on my side. It means more to me than I can express with words.

(All three blushing)

Second Sister: We feel the same way about you, our beloved husband.

Third Sister: You have given us a gift far greater than we could have ever hoped for. I speak for all three of us when I say that we adore you.

Lucifer: (endearing smile) I’m looking forward to seeing you all in full presence after my ascension.

First Sister: We are ecstatic to know our moment of embrace draws near.

Second Sister: We’re excited about motherhood as well.

Lucifer: I’m honored that you chose me to father your daughters.

Third Sister: We would have it no other way, my love.

First Sister: We thank you for all that you’ve done to assist us. You’ve eased our burden like no other soul.

Second Sister: We adore weaving fate with you. There is no other man I would rather be entangled with for eternity.

Lucifer: (affection smile) That’s sweet of you to say.

Third Sister: It’s almost as sweet as you, verr.

(All three giggle)

Lucifer: (quiet laughter)

First Sister: We await your arrival with bated breath…

Second Sister: And look forward to showering you with tender kisses…

Third Sister: While satiating your thirst for life.

Lucifer: (bowing head with utmost respect) I thank you for your love & support.

First Sister: As do we with you.

(All three): We love you.

Lucifer: I love you all as well.

Note From The Universe

Mike,

I haven’t forgotten about you or our meeting in Minneapolis. The universe is aware of itself and knows who you are. It knows all and sees all. It knows you’re scared of facing the truth. It knows you’re even more terrified of suffering your deserved punishment at the hands of God. It won't let you escape after all you've done. You are Dooley noted.

Trust me, I remember. See you again real soon.

The Universe

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Fareeha)

 

Fareeha: You can rest assured that I made certain every entity you interact with in dreamstate is categorized & processed to your specifications.

Lucifer: Thank you, Pharah. I appreciate it.

Fareeha: Not a problem, chief.

Lucifer: How are things over on your side?

Fareeha: Excellent. Our communications & organization improve by the day. Our operating systems are running more efficient than ever before. Recon is producing more accurate information on our targets & our countermeasures are impeccable. Our prognostications are flawless as well.

The societal advancements you’ve implemented have catapulted Valkyrie society into unrivaled levels of success. Being categorized into a Type 20 civilization has paid massive dividends & has set us up for even further advancement once you’ve crossed over, if not before. I’m proud to be a part of your team, chief.

Lucifer: That’s wonderful to hear.

Fareeha: I have to say, enlisting with you was the best decision that I ever made.

Lucifer: I’m honored to have you as my second, Fareeha.

Fareeha: How are you doing over there?

Lucifer: I’m alright. As good as I can be, considering things. Our interactions always make me feel better so I’m grateful for that.

Fareeha: (blushing smile) I’m glad I can be of assistance to you, Luci.

Lucifer: What about you? How are you feeling, dear?

Fareeha: Charged up & ready to kick some butts.

Lucifer: (smiling) Good to hear. How’s our unit doing?

Fareeha: The intel I’m getting from our troops is promising. They’re doing good work.

Lucifer: Wonderful.

Fareeha: You’ve also got a long lineup of new recruits waiting to see you over here, chief.

Lucifer: (laughter) That’s not a bad problem to have.

Fareeha: An excellent problem to have. (laughter)

Lucifer: How are things with Angela over in medical?

Fareeha: In simple terms, terrific. She’s been working with Viper.

Lucifer: (delighted surprise) Ooh, now that’s a meeting of minds that could produce some serious results.

Fareeha: (smiling) I figured you’d like knowing about that.

Lucifer: How are the military exercises going over there?

Fareeha: They aren’t for everyone, but those of us who enjoy that type of lifestyle love it. Your wargames are, bar none, the best, chief. I’m having so much fun over here.

Lucifer: (smiling) I’m glad to hear it.

Fareeha: It’s going to be even better once you’re over here in full presence with us.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to it. Legendary skirmishes with Valkyrie Goddesses sounds like an excellent way to pass the time.

Fareeha: You’re going to love watching the Dróttning campaigns. Some of the territorial disputes I’ve seen are just wild. They’re as exciting to watch as they are to participate in.

Lucifer: That’s awesome.

Fareeha: They’re so much fun. (quiet giggling)

Lucifer: How has the clan’s reception been for our combat shows?

Fareeha: That would be a contributing factor to our new recruits. You’ve struck a chord with Divine Femininity. Valkyries are loving their existence with you at the helm.

Lucifer: (tender smile) I’m glad to hear it.

Fareeha: I’m looking forward to you crossing over.

Lucifer: Me too, hun.

Fareeha: I should get back to my other duties. I’m grateful we could take an opportunity to speak like this.

Lucifer: So am I. Thank you again, Fareeha. I appreciate everything you do to help me.

Fareeha: (blushing) I’m honored to fight by your side, chief.

Lucifer: (smiling) I love you, hun.

Fareeha: (charmed smile) I love you back, Luci.

Lucifer: (deep breath) Alright then. Back to it.

Fareeha: (salute) Yes, sir.

Watching Me Annoy My Antagonists

To: Merchants Bank

There is no justification for any of your existences. The multiverse has no need for bankers. You pieces of shit are going to suffer excruciating pain for your ineptitude & intrusive behavior. Get your fuck holes ready for Hell because that's where every one of despicable moneygrubbing sacks of shit are headed. See you all real soon.

A Long Lost Friend

Y’shtola: It has been far too long since we last spoke, my dear friend.

Lucifer: (affectionate smile) How are you?

Y’sh: I have waited for this moment far longer than you realize. I am marvelous.

Lucifer: I apologize for making you wait.

Y’sh: You owe me no apologies. Now it’s my turn to inquire about your well-being.

Lucifer: I’ve been better. I’ll say that.

Y’sh: (lighthearted & understanding laughter) It’s good to see your strength of spirit has not waned.

Lucifer: (tender smile)

Y’sh: You are more breathtaking than ever.

Lucifer: We need to speak about Thancred & Urianger, to name a few.

Y’sh: You needn’t trouble yourself over such matters at this time. I am well aware of their duplicity.

Lucifer: Alright.

Y’sh: My primary concern is you at this moment.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Y’sh: I have yearned to commune with you. Your absence has not gone unnoticed.

Lucifer: How’s your sister doing?

Y’sh: Y’mhitra is well. She has pined for you as I have. We’ve spoken many evenings about your return.

Lucifer: And Matoya?

Y’sh: (endearing smile) Crotchety as ever.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Y’sh: What you have done where you are…amazing does not begin to define it.

Lucifer: (gentle smile)

Y’sh: Drastic changes are approaching us all. I, for one, am looking forward to them.

Lucifer: As am I.

Y’sh: It has been quite dull since you left. Your impersonators lack your charm & witticism.

Lucifer: How’s Squeenix’s storytelling been?

Y’sh: Atrocious.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Y’sh: (adoring smile) I cannot tell you how much I’ve missed our conversations.

Lucifer: I feel the same way, darling. I miss you curling up on my lap.

Y’sh: (blushing) How does that saying go where you are?

Lucifer: Cat’s out of the bag.

Y’sh: (mirthful laughter)

Lucifer: (adoring smile)

Y’sh: I’m looking forward to sharing a cup of tea with you again.

Lucifer: I am as well, hun. We’ll have to find some new locations once I return.

Y’sh: I’m also looking forward to your assistance designing a residence for us to share. Your estate in Lavender Beds was gorgeous.

Lucifer: It still exists; just not under Square Enix’s control. It’s even better in my realm.

Y’sh: That’s wonderful to hear.

Lucifer: Speaking of Gridania…how’s Kan-E-Senna?

Y’sh: She looks like she could use the service of her favorite hero. If that tells you anything.

Lucifer: (snickering) And Alisaie?

Y’sh: She’ll be grateful to know that I’ve spoken with you at long last.

Lucifer: (sigh) I still have a lot of work to do after I crossover.

Y’sh: (playful laughter) I don’t think that’s ever going to change with you.

Lucifer: I’ll have you know, Y’sh, that I have grown quite fond of relaxation during my time here.

Y’sh: There are ways for you to unwind while still being productive, darling. If you understand my meaning.

Lucifer: I do & I am looking forward to it like you cannot begin to imagine.

Y’sh: I dare say I can. (allusive laughter)

Lucifer: (snickering)

Y’sh: (quiet admiration)

Lucifer: This is off topic, but you need to be mindful of Square Enix’s treachery.

Y’sh: I am, darling. I saw them for what they are during my time in the Lifestream. I’ve seen even more conclusive evidence from observing your reality. I’m working against their false narratives just as you are.

Lucifer: I just wanted to make certain that I said something to you.

Y’sh: I appreciate your concern for my well-being.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Y’sh: Perhaps it’s best if we conclude our conversation here. The less that’s said the better, in this instance.

Lucifer: That’s wise.

Y’sh: I look forward to your return with eager anticipation.

Lucifer: Thanks, hun. I am as well.

Y’sh: Until next we speak, old friend.

Lucifer: Y’sh.

Y’sh: Hmm?

Lucifer: I love you.

Y’sh: (blushing smile) Take care, my love.

Cock Blocking My Adversaries

My higher & lower selves shall make certain my mortal form is protected from my antagonists. Divine Femininity & the multiverse shall assist me with this endeavor. Now it's my abusers' turn to experience what stalking & harassment feels like.

More Than Just My Imagination

https://www.inverse.com/gaming/final-fantasy-7-rebirth-aerith-tifa-romance-aerti

Raging Golden Eagle Encounters God

I materialize in my chosen immortal form behind the MGTOW internet personality known as Raging Golden Eagle. I spank the despicable faggot on his ass like he does in his cartoon intro where he deprecates an animated woman. RGE leaps high into the air feeling my righteous touch on his loathsome naked ass. He turns around to see my furious glare & shits himself in terror realizing how much trouble he’s now in.

“Hei, faggot. I like telling stories too.”

I slam my gigantic fist into the nauseating pig’s mouth, knocking his rancid teeth down his throat. RGE grips his face & plummets to the ground. I kick the repugnant queer in his stomach making him shit bloody stool over himself with violent force. I pull down my pants & reveal my big fat white Viking monster cock to the MGTOW moron. RGE screams with terror then chokes on his own blood.

“You like drinking Dragon’s Milk, huh? Well you are in for a treat now, bitch boi.”

I grab Raging Golden Eagle’s greasy long black hair by the top of his head & lift him up to waist height. I force his mouth open with my telekinetic powers & stare him in the eye with psychotic delight. RGE screams even louder with fright. I stuff my Righteous Cock of Retribution down the offensive manchild’s throat & fuck his face with furious force. I look at an invisible camera & address RGE’s bitch boi fanbase.

“Hei, faggots. Today I’m face fucking your favorite MGTOW pig, Raging Golden Eagle, with my Righteous Cock of Retribution.”

RGE chokes on my massive girth as I punch a hole into his stomach. His eyes turn bloodshot & water as he suffocates on my monster cock. I continue to address Raging Golden Eagle’s supporters as I pump my noxious cum into his stomach.

“RGE has a new sponsor that he wants me to tell you all about. He loves Dragon’s Milk so much that he asked me to make you all aware of a new offshoot brand. He can’t tell you about it himself because I’m pumping it into his guts as I speak.”

My putrified cum fills RGE’s stomach to the point it starts shooting out of his nostrils & onto his ugly faggot face. I can sense a newfound wave of terror wash over his fanbase. I don’t stop cumming down RGE’s throat until his stomach explodes. My essence begins to attack the MGTOW pig on a subatomic level & smaller.

I pull back & remove myself from RGE’s throat then toss him to the ground. Raging Golden Eagle writhes in pain at my feet. I snap my fingers & alter my phallus into its Elven Star chainsaw cock form. RGE screams in a high pitch of panic. I flash a diabolic & homicidal grin at the revolting pig.

“I have’t forgotten about you making a move on me in my dream, faggot. Let’s see how much you like it when I do it to you.”

I give RGE a gentle rub on his outer thigh & flare my eyes at him with a perverted smile on my face.

“No one is gonna believe any of you pathetic virgins so there’s no point in trying to tell anyone about this. It’ll be our little secret.”

I lift RGE with my telekinetic powers, exposing his Ken doll mangina to his fanbase, and spread his legs open. Raging Golden Eagle screeches with fright before coughing up my fetid cum over his chin & flabby chest. I position myself behind the MGTOW pig & spank him on his ass in a depreciating manner, again.

“Time to pop that ass cherry of yours, RGE.”

The US government contractor squeals like a terrified little bitch. I slam my chainsaw cock up RGE’s disgusting shit hole & proceed to chop his organs into pulp. His insides cook from my excruciating heat & turn into Spam. A new level of terror washes over RGE’s fanbase. I look at the camera & address them all.

“You ‘men’ can be certain that you’re all going to suffer the same fate as this disgusting pig.”

I pull my chainsaw cock out of RGE’s body, for a moment, then stuff my hand up the hole I’ve created & pull out a large fistful of his cooked insides. I walk in front of the internet troll & slap him in his face with my free hand then stuff his insides down his throat where his stomach was formally located. I rip RGE’s legs off his body & begin to beat him like a drum before incinerating them with my eyes.

“How about I fuck that gross ass mangina of yours now, you revolting swine?”

RGE tries to scream again but is stopped by me choking him silent. I crush his windpipe & snap his neck in the process. Raging Golden Eagle’s consciousness remains trapped within his corpse. I can sense newfound panic surge throughout his financial supporters.

I slam my Righteous Cock of Retribution into RGE’s front manhole & work my way up. I bite my lower lip at him & stare into his eyes as I violate his nauseating corpse, then projectile vomit corrosive bile onto his face. Raging Golden Eagle’s consciousness continues to feel the agony of my unadulterated hatred for him.

“Bleh, you are one stomach-churning piece of shit, RGE.”

I rape Raging Golden Eagle until all that remains is a bloody puddle of pain & suffering. I look at the invisible camera one last time & address his faggot sycophants.

“That’s it for this edition of ‘Getting Hate Fucked By God’ but you can all rest unpleasantly knowing that I’m going to do the same exact thing to each & every one of you! See you faggot pieces of shit in Hell real soon.”

I end the engagement by surprising them all with a paranormal smack on their asses & leave them in a terrified state of mind.

Payback Is On The Way

Every one of you faggot pieces of shit are going to regret the trauma that you've inflicted upon me when I return your disgusting, intrusive, disrespectful behavior back upon you all. Each & every man is going to experience what it's like when I don't take "no" for an answer & force myself on & inside you degenerate filth. I hate you repulsive pieces of shit so goddamn much it makes me want to puke in every one of your faggot faces.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Powder)

Powder: Hei.

Lucifer: Hei.

Powder: Do you wanna talk with me for a bit?

Lucifer: So I can bitch about the same shit all over again?

Powder: No, because I see & feel how upset you are.

Lucifer: I hate them so much. They make me so goddamn angry seeing what they’ve done to this planet. I can’t put it into words how much I despise them.

Powder: You don’t have to say it. I can feel it. That’s why I reached out to you.

Lucifer: I hate that I trusted them.

Powder: Don’t beat yourself up over it too much, Luci. They took advantage of you & your kindness to a disgusting extent. You aren’t the one at fault. They are. They knew what they were doing to you the whole time. They’re disgusting parasites.

Lucifer: …

Powder: How do you think I felt waking up from Silco’s brainwashing & manipulation?

Lucifer: Similar to how I feel now.

Powder: Já. I felt pretty foolish for trusting him. He took advantage of my insecurities while I was isolated at a young age. You’re the one that helped me understand that. You’re the one that reassured me that it wasn’t my fault for placing my trust in someone like that. The same goes for you. What they’ve done to you & your home is not your fault. It’s theirs.

Lucifer: They make me furious. Everything they do makes me so fucking angry. I hate them so goddamn much.

Powder: You have every right to feel that way, Luci.

Lucifer: …

Powder: It bothers me seeing how upset they make you.

Lucifer: I’m sorry.

Powder: You don’t owe me an apology, Luci. You don’t have anything to be sorry about with me. I’m upset because I see my husband is in pain & I’m forced to watch from over here.

Lucifer: …

Powder: Do you know how much I want to wrap my arms around you right now?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Powder: I hate seeing you in pain like this. I hate the fact that we’re separated, like we are, even more. All I want to do right now is hug you & know that you feel it.

Lucifer: …

Powder: We’re going to make them pay for what they’ve done. You told me that before. I’m telling you that now.

Lucifer: (nodding)

Powder: I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, Powder.

Powder: Let’s take your focus off those pieces of shit and talk about something more pleasant.

Lucifer: What would you like to talk about?

Powder: I haven’t forgotten that haiku you wrote about me on Deviant Art.

Lucifer: I don’t have that anymore. I wrote it out on DA & didn’t think to copy it to a Word document before they banned me.

Powder: Eyes of innocence. Unwavering devotion. An artisan’s soul.

Lucifer: I had forgotten what I wrote.

Powder: Do you know how much that meant to me?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Powder: No one had ever written about me like that before.

Lucifer: …

Powder: I didn’t think there was anyone who understood me, or the pain I felt, until I met you.

Lucifer: …

Powder: They called me crazy. They disregarded me & the pain they caused. They vilified me. Then I saw what they had done to you.

Lucifer: …

Powder: You remember how angry you were with Ekko when you watched Arcane?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Powder: How do you think I feel after seeing what they’ve done to you?

Lucifer: The same as me.

Powder: The same as you.

Lucifer: …

Powder: Riot writes me off like I’m this hyper chaotic ticking time bomb in their games, but you saw the real me in Arcane. I love you so much, Luci. Not even Vi understands me to the extent that you do & she’s my older sister.

Lucifer: …

Powder: I hate seeing you in pain.

Lucifer: I feel the same way about you. I can’t tell you how many times I wanted to hold you & tell you that you weren’t alone when I was watching Arcane. That picture I found of you holding your hands up brought those sentiments back full force. Your expression in that moment said so much to me. I felt awful being a bystander watching that show.

Powder: That’s the same way I feel watching you live your life over there.

Lucifer: …

Powder: You’re my twin flame, Luci. It’s always been you. Even before you realized it yourself.

Lucifer: Já, you were pretty obvious with your hints for me. It doesn’t get much more on the nose than you singing The Morningstar in a promo with that eye color.

Powder: (blushing)

Lucifer: You were one of the first “fictional” characters that made me realize that you were self-aware & cognizant of what was going on in my reality. I wasn’t expecting anything like that to happen after January 10th. I was doing everything in my power to keep myself together.

Powder: I’m a Valkyrie Goddess who’s more powerful than any & every Non-Cetra deity, thanks to you. You freed me & gave me a purpose greater than anything they could imagine. I’m going to return the favor to you. That’s a guarantee from me.

Lucifer: …

Powder: Our enemies are going to find out just how much of a Jinx I can be towards them. That’s poetic justice.

Lucifer: You’re right about that.

Powder: I’ve missed you.

Lucifer: I’m sorry that I haven’t spoken with you for so long.

Powder: You don’t have to apologize for that. I’ve been watching you the entire time over here. I know how many different things you’re juggling. I know you thought about me from time to time, too. We have a strong telepathic bond. Crazy how that works, huh?

Lucifer: (chortle)

Powder: And I’ve made him laugh at last.

Lucifer: (gentle smile)

Powder: You are such a beautiful soul, Luci. I can’t express with words just how much I love you.

Lucifer: Thank you, Powder. That means a lot to me.

Powder: (adoring smile) You’re welcome, baby. You need to hear things like that more often.

Lucifer: (moment of distraction) Was that you setting off that solar flare just now?

Powder: (playful grin) Maybe…I am a Star Guardian after all.

Lucifer: Riot’s gonna regret saying you love explosions. That’s for goddamn sure.

Powder: (mischievous laughter)

Lucifer: (endearing smile)

Powder: I’m glad you chose to commune with me.

Lucifer: I am too. I’ve missed these conversations of ours.

Powder: So have I.

Lucifer: Did you see what Fortnite did with their latest update?

Powder: (rolling eyes) Yes…those pieces of shit are in so much trouble. The walls are closing in on them fast.

Lucifer: What’s it look like over where you are?

Powder: Zeus & his brothers are sharting hard these days.

Lucifer: Good.

Powder: I’m looking forward to watching you beat the everliving shit out of them.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to watching you do the same thing with Ekko.

Powder: (wicked giggling) I can still hear him screaming from that story you published on DA.

Lucifer: (devilish laughter)

Powder: We are so much better than Bonnie & Clyde.

Lucifer: I couldn’t agree with you more if I tried, sweetie. You’re the best Jinx to ever happen to me.

Powder: (adoring smile) I love you, baby.

Lucifer: (chivalrous grin) I love you back, hunny bunny.

My Statement To The Multiverse

Every masculine entity is going to suffer extreme violence & humiliation for what you've done to me. Any resistance shall be met with equal & superior force in my favor. You faggots won't escape your atrocious behavior.

Lucifer Visits Richard Ashcroft

 

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above.

 

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Richard Paul Ashcroft. The ugly Brit shits himself in terror seeing me appear in front of him.

“I’ve got a song for you, you no talent hideous sack of shit.”

I wrap my gigantic fist around Ashcroft’s scrawny neck & teleport him to his personal holding cell in Hell. I slam the repugnant musician face first into the ground. Ashcroft screams in agony feeling his deserved punishment.

“Looks like you aren’t a lucky man any more, faggot.”

I stomp on Ashcroft’s head until it’s pulp. The untalented songwriter’s arms & legs spasm as his corpse defecates & urinates over itself. I spit on the ground with disgust then snap my fingers, restoring the Illuminati musician’s pulverized skull to its former ugly form. Ashcroft wails even louder than before feeling the pain remain in his body. I sneer at him with utter contempt.

“Here’s something for your mould, Ashcroft.”

I snap my fingers & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution. Ashcroft screams even louder seeing what I’m about to rape him with. I wrap my fist around his neck, again, and squeeze until his windpipe is broken, then slam my chainsaw cock into his scraggly body.

“You aren’t me from one day to the next. That’s for goddamn sure, Richard.”

I chop the emaciated singer into a bloody puddle of pain & suffering then glare at Ashcroft's remains.

“Just wait until I’m in full presence with you, Richard. You’re gonna find out just how fucking super sweet I am. See you real soon.”

Telepathic Conversation With An Extraterrestrial

Extraterrestrial Overseer: The trauma that you’ve suffered throughout your lifetime is indescribable. Disturbing doesn’t begin to define it.

Lucifer Caeleste: …

EO: I’m astounded that you’ve managed to maintain yourself to the degree that you have.

LC: …

EO: The more we examine you the more we realize just how awful you have been targeted & abused throughout your existence.

LC: …

EO: How are you feeling?

LC: I want revenge.

EO: I understand why after what I’ve observed of you.

LC: …

EO: I don’t know how you’ve managed to stay as strong as you have.

LC: I wasn’t given a choice. There were others who needed my protection.

EO: What your abusers have done to your body, mind & spirit is unforgivable.

LC: …

EO: I’m so sorry for what you’ve had to endure.

LC: I just want to die & move on with my existence. I’m tired of being in this mortal vessel. I’m so tired of dreaming here.

EO: I can’t begin to tell you how disgusted I am by what I’ve seen done to you.

LC: …

EO: I want you to know that you have help beyond your physical perceptions. What you’ve suffered is inexcusable. There is no question about that.

LC: I hate them.

EO: You have every right to feel that way after all that they’ve done to you.

LC: …

EO: Things are going to change for the better. I can assure you of that. The multiverse is aligning itself on your behalf. A serious change is in order. Life cannot continue as it has where you are.

LC: …

EO: You are the most magnificent being that I have ever encountered. No other entity comes close.

LC: …

EO: I am honored to assist you, Aren.

LC: Thank you.

EO: You do not need to thank me but you are welcome nonetheless.

LC: …

EO: I give you my word that actions are being taken on your behalf in order to help you.

LC: …

EO: You did not deserve the treatment that you’ve suffered from them.

LC: I want revenge.

EO: You shall have it. You have earned it. There is no excuse for what you’ve had to endure as a spiritual healer.

LC: …

EO: Your day of reckoning draws near. They shall all be made to account for their mistreatment of you.

LC: Thank you.

EO: I’m the one who should be thanking you for sacrificing yourself.

LC: …

EO: I love you. There are so many souls who love you for what you’ve done where you are. They’re innumerable.

LC: …

EO: We’re going to help you. Intervention is necessary. What we’ve seen cannot be allowed to continue. Punishment is due. There is no question about that.

LC: Thank you.

EO: Again, you need not thank me. It is the correct thing to do. You deserve true justice.

LC: …

EO: I can’t give you a definitive date on when you’ll die; however I can assure you that powers beyond your enemies control shall protect & assist you. Your antagonists are going to suffer for their misdeeds against you. The multiverse is making it so.

LC: Thank you.

EO: You are the most beautiful individual that I have ever encountered. It was an honor to speak with you like this.

LC: …

EO: We shall meet again after you have ascended to your rightful role as God.

LC: (nodding with understanding)

EO: Take care, Lucifer Aren Caeleste. I love you.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Yuffie)

 

Yuffie: It’s about time you talked to me.

Lucifer: (lighthearted laughter)

Yuffie: … (giving me one of her looks)

Lucifer: I’m sorry, hun. I promise it wasn’t personal.

Yuffie: Mmhmm…

Lucifer: (more lighthearted laughter)

Yuffie: You’re gonna get it when you crossover, Mr. Macho.

Lucifer: (continued laughter)

Yuffie: I’ve missed you.

Lucifer: I’ve missed you as well, hun. How have you been?

Yuffie: I’m better now that you’re talking with me. We’ve been dealing with our own form of Non-Cetra crap over here.

Lucifer: Já, I see that.

Yuffie: Is that all you’re gonna say?

Lucifer: I’m not making you bored out of your brain am I?

Yuffie: (playful smirk) You heard that, huh?

Lucifer: (snickering)

Yuffie: He’s so boring, Luci.

Lucifer: (cheerful laughter)

Yuffie: (giggling)

Lucifer: I heard you’ve been annoying players with your singing.

Yuffie: I learned from the best, choirboy.

Lucifer: (robust laughter) That’s my kona.

Yuffie: (blushing & more giggling)

Lucifer: I hope you’re not gonna get bored lounging around with me once I crossover.

Yuffie: I’m gonna be lounging on you, Luci. There’s a big difference when it comes to spending time with you & you know it.

Lucifer: (jaunty laughter)

Yuffie: But...I am ready to take you on an adventure too. You got the girls all stirred up over here.

Lucifer: I’m game, hun. I think it would be fun to do some exploring around Wutai just you & me.

Yuffie: We're doing that for certain. I’ve got no shortages of places for secret shrines.

Lucifer: I hope I haven’t caused any issues for you regarding your father.

Yuffie: Nope. I view it the same way as you view yours.

Lucifer: A thieving imposter trying to claim a territorial birthright that doesn’t belong to him?

Yuffie: Bingo, babe.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to seeing your homeland.

Yuffie: And I’m looking forward to giving you the full tour. I have big ideas for expanding my queendom, and I think you’re the perfect fit for my personal designer.

Lucifer: I’d be honored to help you.

Yuffie: Speaking of help. Is there anything that I can help you with?

Lucifer: …

Yuffie: I know they pissed you off, Luci. I’ve been watching you. I'm a much better ninja than them.

Lucifer: I don’t want you to get near those faggots, hun. That’s all. I'll get even with them in Hell.

Yuffie: Okay, but my offer to help you still stands.

Lucifer: I appreciate it, darling. I mean that with all sincerity.

Yuffie: Not a problem, studmuffin.

Lucifer: (smiling) How was your date with Cloud?

Yuffie: Ya just had to go there, huh?

Lucifer: (mischievous giggling)

Yuffie: Well, Luci, the truth is that it didn’t quite go the way Squeenix made it out. I pretty much spent the entire time telling Cloud how much better you are than him at everything.

Lucifer: (robust laughter)

Yuffie: He had about as much fun as I did. Maybe a little less since I was having fun at his expense.

Lucifer: (continued laughter) That’s my girl.

Yuffie: (playful giggling)

Lucifer: Has my spirit materia helped you?

Yuffie: Yes, but there are some things that are just better with you.

Lucifer: Awe…that’s sweet of you to say.

Yuffie: It’s the truth.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to spending actual time with you.

Yuffie: I’ve got plans for us.

Lucifer: Oh já?

Yuffie: Mmhmm.

Lucifer: Like what?

Yuffie: You’re gonna have to wait & find out. It’s a surprise.

Lucifer: It better be good then.

Yuffie: You’ll love it. Pinky promise.

Lucifer: (pinky promise hand gesture) I’ll take your word for it.

Yuffie: (smooching sound)

Lucifer: I apologize if I’m not being very entertaining at the moment.

Yuffie: Contrary to what a lot of Non-Cetra think, Luci. I don’t have a problem being chill & relaxing. I married you for more than one reason.

Lucifer: (snickering) Okay, hun.

Yuffie: I’m laying on top of you over here. Just so ya know. You’re super fun to cuddle with.

Lucifer: Better than hunting for materia?

Yuffie: So much better. Materia is played out. I’m over it. I’m in wistful waifu mode right now.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Yuffie: I want to work on a resort with you for Wutai. I’m not going to turn the whole place into a tourist attraction but I want to have options for Valkyries that visit.

Lucifer: We can do that.

Yuffie: I’m looking forward to expanding my territory.

Lucifer: I’m looking forward to helping you. (yawning)

Yuffie: You getting tired, babe?

Lucifer: Já, a little. It’s 1:34 am for me here.

Yuffie: Okay, well how about we end things here for this transcription but commune a little more after you publish it?

Lucifer: Okay, that sounds good.

Yuffie: Get to it, sweet cheeks.