Lucifer Visits Richard Ashcroft

 

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I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Richard Paul Ashcroft. The ugly Brit shits himself in terror seeing me appear in front of him.

“I’ve got a song for you, you no talent hideous sack of shit.”

I wrap my gigantic fist around Ashcroft’s scrawny neck & teleport him to his personal holding cell in Hell. I slam the repugnant musician face first into the ground. Ashcroft screams in agony feeling his deserved punishment.

“Looks like you aren’t a lucky man any more, faggot.”

I stomp on Ashcroft’s head until it’s pulp. The untalented songwriter’s arms & legs spasm as his corpse defecates & urinates over itself. I spit on the ground with disgust then snap my fingers, restoring the Illuminati musician’s pulverized skull to its former ugly form. Ashcroft wails even louder than before feeling the pain remain in his body. I sneer at him with utter contempt.

“Here’s something for your mould, Ashcroft.”

I snap my fingers & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution. Ashcroft screams even louder seeing what I’m about to rape him with. I wrap my fist around his neck, again, and squeeze until his windpipe is broken, then slam my chainsaw cock into his scraggly body.

“You aren’t me from one day to the next. That’s for goddamn sure, Richard.”

I chop the emaciated singer into a bloody puddle of pain & suffering then glare at Ashcroft's remains.

“Just wait until I’m in full presence with you, Richard. You’re gonna find out just how fucking super sweet I am. See you real soon.”