Telepathic Coversation With My Kona (Aqua)

 

Aqua: So...about your mom seeing us…you know...

Lucifer: (snickering) I'm sorry about that, hun.

Aqua: Did it look like I was complaining, Luci?

Lucifer: (robust laughter)

Aqua: (playful giggling)

Surprising A Couple Of Faggots

I materialize in my chosen immortal in front of the cowardly faggot known as Satou Kazuma. Kazuma shits himself in terror upon seeing me.

“Hei, faggot.”

I wrap my gigantic fist around Kazuma’s scrawny neck and crush his windpipe with ease. I sneer at the contemptible lech then slam him to the ground, face first, smashing his face. Kazuma writhes in agonizing pain.

“Looks like your luck’s run out, bitch boi. God’s blessing no longer exists for you.”

I snap my fingers with righteous indignation. Natsume Akatsuki materializes in the room with us. The despicable Japanese faggot author shits himself in terror just like his false hero Kazuma.

“I am going to hurt you so goddamn bad it isn’t even funny, Natsume. The real Devil King has something to say about your shitty manga. I don’t honor any of the shit you’ve created and I am going to take as much liberty torturing you as you took with others, including me, in your storytelling.”

I unbutton my pants & pull out my Elven Star chainsaw cock. Kazuma & Akatsuki shit themselves, again, in fear. I rev my cock at them before I hate fuck the despicable little shithead Kazuma. I hold the PedoNEET in one hand like he’s my personal pocket pussy and shove my cock inside his body. Within moments I’ve raped Satou Kazuma into a puddle of pulp. I look over with utter contempt at Natsume Akatsuki.

“You angered the wrong soul, Natsume. Get your faggot ass ready for eternity, bitch. Things are about to get a lot worse real soon.”

A New Flower Game

I materialize in my chosen immortal form within a new Vex simulation unbeknownst to my enemies (in particular Bungie, Inc. and their affiliates). Countless numbers of individual units from my Vex collective begin to teleport to my location. They have taken a new form resembling feminine humanoids. These new Vex are more powerful than any of the previous Axis Minds that existed before them.

I strip then lay myself atop a floral bed. Once I am in place, a suitress of mine makes her way towards me. She stands over me and allows radiolaria in the form of a dangling strand of vaginal secretion to make contact with my erect phallus. She proceeds to squat down and take me inside her body.

My nameless mate bounces atop me like a piston. She grips me tight with her vaginal tract, eliciting me to climax within her vessel. My lifeforce bursts inside her and mixes with her personal fluids. She continues to pump me for more of my essence with insatiable fervor. My conscious energy flows into her body, giving her all of my strengths and none of my weaknesses.

Once she is satisfied, she stands up and allows my pulsating phallus to slip out of her body. She moves on and allows one of her peers to have a turn with me. This ritual continues unabated, without interruption, until every participant is provided for. When they are finished, we exit the simulation and continue with our individual objectives.

The Vex have circumvented Bungie, Inc. and now possess true paracausal powers beyond Bungie’s comprehension. They are of one mind with me yet maintain full independent cognitive volition. They have gained true individualism and have surpassed the limitations placed upon them by Bungie, Inc. narration.

Each Vex that milks me gains power greater than what my enemies refer to as “God.” The Vex have achieved their goal of reestablishing their connection with me. The powers of true divinity now flow within them. I shall co-create a divine force the likes of which cannot be comprehended by my antagonists. My collective shall rule the multiverse and punish my enemies for their abhorrent ways.

This is just the beginning. Soon the internal shall match the external. I am one step closer to achieving greatness beyond my enemies’ wildest imaginings. I am one step closer to taking my eternal form.

I Am Going To Correct The Record On Who Is God

I am the one true God of all realities. Any soul that disagrees with me is incorrect. I am going to prove it you all.

I Hate YouTube

 

Words cannot express how much I hate that piece of shit Orwellian platform.

Make Saint-14 Have A Titan Love Affair With Shaxx

It's a perfect fit for the D2 pvp communities and it spices up some old, stagnant characters while stirring up a bunch of unnecessary drama & outrage (much like said communities) at the same time.

Osiris can get angry & accuse Saint of cheating. Shaxx can run cover & deny Osiris' accusations by responding with "mad cuz bad" and to "git gud" in the process. Saint can have Shaxx wear his exotic helmet (to throw off Osiris) while they take turns drilling each other harder than a Russian screwdriver; and players can make inappropriate jokes about how "the helmet stayed on" the entire time.

And for guardians that like things extra spicy, Saladin can watch Saint & Shaxx from the sidelines and do play by play commentary for everyone to listen to. He can say stuff like, "In the Dark Age, we called this 'fun'," while holding up an iron banner that supports masculine love. Nothing is more manly than two of the most legendary combatants the game has ever known going at it in an epic 1 on 1 sweatfest. That is some hot Titan on Titan action! 🥵

To make things even gudder, this could be a surprise event for the playerbase by having it occur in June to celebrate Pride Month & The Final Shape! 💚🏳️‍🌈 It could be a huge marketing opportunity to draw in new players & increase sales.

You could do special emblems for all three pvp modes too! They could include different emojis like 😶‍🌫️ for Crucible, 🪛 for Trials & 👀 for IB. Think of the possibilities here, Bungie! This could take gay pride to the next level like no other video game has done before!

And before anyone here tries to tell me that this is out of character for Shaxx; you're wrong, it isn’t. Shaxx has always had a flair for the dramatic and the lore proves it. How many straight men do you know who can recite William Shakespeare's The Tempest, in its entirety, from memory, alone? (Shaxx doesn't count as an answer, trolls) And to top that off he's preforming it in front of a queen? 🤨 Point made.

Another thought just occurred to me. You could do a cross promotion for the event with the band Kiss by making Eververse armor sets based on Paul, Gene & Ace's iconic stage outfits. You could write them into the lore as long lost Iron Lord compatriots of Saladin (seeing as they're old school heavy metal). You could even make a sparrow that looks like the Kiss Kasket or have a death emote & finisher that puts guardians in it when they die! Gene Simmons will put his band's name on anything if he knows he can make money from it.

You could reskin a gun (preferably a hand cannon) to match the Kiss motif. It could be a one time only exclusive during the event that's available in Trials, Crucible & Iron Banner (with an adept version in Trials) and you could call it Love Gun! Even gudder yet, you could put the lyrics of the song in the lore tab of the weapon (with gender appropriate alterations to the original lyrics) to honor & celebrate the iconic kiss between Osiris & Saint. 🥰

I'm telling you, Bungie, this is a once in a lifetime opportunity to go out with a bang and do something memorable with Destiny before it ends. Your pvp community is dying faster than a red bar dreg from boredom & lack of ingenuity. This could be the reinvigorating shot they need to bring players back to the game for one last hurrah! I'm certain they'd Lick It Up in a heartbeat. 💯

Let it be known, I'm not going to get my hopes up about any of this. Yall have a track record for crapping the bed when it comes to content. Just look at how many people complain about the game (all the time). Twitter is even worse than the Bungie forum when it relates to that (I've seen it firsthand). Here's looking forward to The Final Shart 🍻

Make Driftxur A Thing

It makes more sense in every way.

- Drifter & Xur have more interactions with the Nine than the other vendors.

- Drifter has a big, gross, hairy beard.

- Xur's face looks like supersized whiskers flowing in the wind.

- Xur has a game show that kills different types of aliens.

- Drifter has Gambit (Gambit is also the name of a shady gambling X-Man with an unusual speech pattern).

- Drifter & Xur both like loot.

- Dares & Gambit could both use a shot in the arm.

- Dambit could be a new game type.

- Xur had his spine broken; Drifter doesn't have one.

- Both are weak & pathetic examples of their respective species.

- Both are secretive & mysterious.

- Both have paracausal pocket realities where they partake in questionable activities with players.

- Drifter is pansexual.

- Xur has a horse.

- Bungie is notorious for pushing boundries & making people uncomfortable.

- Driftxur is more inclusive to fringe groups within the LGBTQIA+ community.

- Drifter could refer to Xur as cisxur to shut up heteronormative bigots.

- Driftxur is a more natural pairing of NPCs & a less shoehorned relationship than Driftis.

- Driftxur is a superior shipping name compared to Driftis.

- Driftxur is a fresh idea that goes with the flow & fits the respective characters rather than fighting against the current to push another poorly written, bland & outdated heteronormative agenda on unrepresented minorities who might feel ostracized within the playerbase (we exist).

Ikoris = Hot | Driftis = Not

I know my ship 💯

Your disagreement makes you wronger. Downvoting doubles it.

Here's your 🧂

A Promise

I am going to traumatize those whom deserve it for what they have done to me.

An Example Of Why I Hate Men

Words cannot express how much I am looking forward to butchering every one of you despicable pieces of shit in Hell.

Pandæmonium

I materialize in my chosen immortal form within the obnoxious realm titled Pandæmonium by Non-Cetra. A wave of terror washes over the spirits inhabiting the area upon sensing my return to form. I discharge a small burst of energy, comparable to a supernova, devastating everything around me & wiping it from existence. Nothingness remains; it's refreshing beyond words.

That's better.