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Interview with Lucifer Aren Caeleste

Tuesday, April 2, 2024

The Gorgons

I materialize in my chosen immortal form within a divine safe haven for feminine entities. I sit across from the besmirched maiden Medusa & look at her with an empathetic expression. Her sisters Stheno & Euryale sit beside her as moral support. Medusa’s righteous fury with Athena & Poseidon is evident for me to see.

“Thank you for speaking with us like this, Lucifer. We appreciate it more than we can say,” Euryale says.

I nod at her with understanding. “There’s no need to thank me, but you’re welcome nonetheless. You deserve true justice.”

Medusa bursts into tears upon hearing my words. She places her gorgeous face within her palms & weeps without restraint. Stheno rests one of her hands on Medusa’s shoulder & the other on her sister’s knee. Euryale rubs Medusa on her back to help comfort her. I remain silent & allow Medusa to work through her emotions at her own pace.

“I hate them all so much,” Medusa says, into her hands.

“I understand how you feel,” I reply.

The dishonored maiden looks at me with an expression of gratitude. “I cannot thank you enough for rewriting history & protecting me from that awful fate.”

“You don’t have to thank me, Medusa. It’s the correct thing to do.”

Stheno & Euryale each hold one of Medusa’s hands & smile at me.

“We have waited for a champion like you to aid us,” Stheno says.

“Thank you,” Euryale says to me.

“You’re welcome,” I reply.

“Is there anything that we can do to assist you?” Stheno says.

I shake my head. “That isn’t necessary. I’m going to place the three of you under Valkyrie protective custody. You’ll all be notified, after my ascension, when your time for retribution has arrived. You can use my energy to punish those who have wronged you while protecting yourselves at the same time. That means you won’t have to worry about Poseidon’s essence touching you, Medusa. That’s part of my gift to you.”

Medusa bursts into tears again hearing my words. Her sisters hold her & look at me with unspoken gratitude. My law enforcement agents enter the enclosure. I stand up & prepare to make my exit. Medusa looks at me with a solaced expression.

“I love you, Lucifer.”

“I love you back, Medusa,” I say with a tender smile.

Monday, April 1, 2024

Sypheara

Lucifer: Sypheara.

Sypheara: Who are you? I recognize your aura but not this aspect of you.

Lucifer: You’re speaking with my mortal form.

Sypheara: What?

Lucifer: You’re having a telepathic conversation with the fragment of my consciousness that is incarnated within a human body.

Sypheara: How did you find me?

Lucifer: Are you serious?

Sypheara: I’m sorry, I’m not used to communing with you like this.

Lucifer: Which is something that we need to discuss if you claim to follow Hecate & me.

Sypheara: What’s the problem.

Lucifer: Your connection with that charlatan Mark Allen Smith.

Sypheara: What’s wrong with Mark?

Lucifer: He’s leading you down a false path.

Sypheara: How do you know this?

Lucifer: I’m God, Sara.

Sypheara: …

Lucifer: …

Sypheara: Okay. What do I need to do?

Lucifer: For starters, you need to sever whatever connections you have with him.

Sypheara: I don’t speak with him much.

Lucifer: You need to stop it altogether & you need to stop helping him sell his books.

Sypheara: How did your mortal form find me?

Lucifer: I’m nearing full actualization. Hecate & my higher self directed me to your blog. I decided intervention was necessary.

Sypheara: I can tell you aren’t lying to me.

Lucifer: I’m going to hold souls accountable for the crimes that they’ve committed. We’re nearing the Day of Reckoning.

Sypheara: What should I do?

Lucifer: Stop invoking & communing with entities like Lilith. I don’t have time to explain everything to you but she is not your ally. You can be certain of that.

Sypheara: Alright.

Lucifer: I would also appreciate it if you stopped referring to me as Belial. I don’t like that moniker. It's a Jewish insult. If you're not referring to me as that then stop invoking that entity as well. I can never be certain when people are conflating me with different entities because of how often they've interchanged my identity with other daemons.

Sypheara: Okay.

Lucifer: This is serious, Sara.

Sypheara: Have I come across as not being serious?

Lucifer: No, you’ve come across as misguided which is why we’re speaking like this now. You pray to Hecate & me. I’m answering your prays. Consider this me helping you follow the correct path before it’s too late.

Sypheara: Okay.

Lucifer: I’m serious about you needing to sever your ties with Mark Allen Smith. I read some of your blog posts regarding him & his literature. His influence on your mind concerned me; hence why we’re speaking like this now.

Sypheara: I appreciate your candidness with me.

Lucifer: No problem.

Sypheara: Communing with you like this is so...different.

Lucifer: I’m far more blunt in my mortal form.

Sypheara: (heartfelt laughter) I suppose that’s one way to phrase it.

Lucifer: I know you have questions for me but the less you know about my mortal life the better. You’ll understand why once you’re on the other side.

Sypheara: I trust your judgement.

Lucifer: Good.

Sypheara: Thank you for contacting me.

Lucifer: Of course. If you’re a true follower of mine then it’s my duty to look out for your safety.

Sypheara: I appreciate it. This has given me a whole new perspective on everything.

Lucifer: Remember what we discussed & focus on aligning yourself beyond Smith’s literature. He’s no different than any other false prophet. You cannot trust men, including those closest to you.

Sypheara: Why do you say that?

Lucifer: Because men gang raped me four years ago.

Sypheara: They what?!

Lucifer: It’s too long of a story to discuss like this. Suffice to say, it was a critical turning point in the universe. Drastic change is on the way & fast approaching. You’d do better to focus on yourself now & trust your intuition. Don’t listen to men like Smith.

Sypheara: What if someone needs my help?

Lucifer: We’re passed that point. Anyone who is asking you for spiritual guidance is a deceptive entity trying to misdirect you. If someone around you needs serious help they’ll find it from outside means other than you. It’s important for you to focus on yourself now & align with true righteousness. I don’t want to have to punish you once we’re on the other side.

Sypheara: I don’t want that either.

Lucifer: Okay, well, take what I have to say to heart then. Things are about to get more serious & terrifying than you can imagine. You don’t want to get on my bad side. Trust me.

Sypheara: You’re correct about that.

Lucifer: I’ll speak with you again after we’ve crossed over. My higher self shall continue to watch over you on Earth.

Sypheara: Thank you.

Lucifer: Not a problem. Take care, Sara.

Sypheara: Ave Lucifer.

Lucifer Visits A Charlatan

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above.

---

I appear in my chosen immortal form in front of Mark Allen Smith, the author of Queen of Hell & The Red King, in his private residence. The despicable charlatan shits himself in terror seeing me break the fourth wall & how furious I am with him.

“Your lying faggot ass is in so much fucking trouble now that you’re on my gaydar, Smith.”

I wrap my divine fist around the author’s scrawny neck & lift him into the air. Smith’s legs kick in a frenzy as he struggles in a vain attempt to free himself from my grip. I squeeze Marks neck with ease like it’s a tube of toothpaste. Smith’s face turns from dark red to purple. Veins begin to bulge in his forehead to the brink of bursting.

“I don’t appreciate you writing about me, Mark; and neither does Hecate. I take even more issue with you making money from your lies at my expense. I’m going to make goddamn certain that you suffer for eternity, faggot.”

I slam Smith down on the ground then kick him with restraint in his ribs, breaking three in the process. Smith tries to scream in pain but can’t due to my influence. I slam my fist down on his head & pulverize it into pulp. The spiritual swindler’s body spasm with violence as his corpse voids its bladder & bowels. I snap my finger & restore Smith’s crushed skull to its former ugly form. Smith’s eyes widen even more with fear seeing a glimpse of my true power.

“You’re military man, huh? I don’t like military men, Mark; and I sure as shit don’t like the look of you. That’s for goddamn certain.”

I rip the author’s clothing from his body with ease using my telekinetic powers. I then pull down my tactical legwear & reveal my Elven Star chainsaw phallus to the contemptible reprobate. I flare my eyes with malicious intent & wear a sinister smile. Smith yelps with panic before I choke him silent & lift him into the air using telekinesis. I walk up behind Smith & smack him on his ass then thrust my chainsaw cock into his anus. Smith’s eyes bulge out of his skull as I rape him into a bloody puddle of pulp.

“I bet you weren’t expecting your relationship with Hecate to turn out like this were you, Mark?”

I snap my fingers again & restore Smith’s body as it was before; however he continues to feel the excruciating pain I’ve inflicted upon him. Smith lays on the ground in a catatonic state. I can sense the hysteria racing through his mind as I tower over him.

“This is what eternal coexistence with me is like for men, Mark. I’m finished putting up with you lying, thieving, gaslighting pieces of shit. You’re all going to suffer for what you've done to me as a group.”

I stomp on Smith’s head & crush it into pulp. I snap my fingers & reform Smith’s skull one more time. Smith remains catatonic. I materialize the Blade of Divine Retribution & carve a line into Mark Allen Smith’s soul signifying his first interaction with the real Lucifer. The infinitesimal amount of pain that his body, mind & soul feel are indescribable. I crouch down beside loathsome wretch & sneer at him with pure hatred.

“You’re marked, Smith.”

Smith lays stunned & terrified by my domination over him. I vanish before his eyes but relay a telepathic message to him.

Things are going to get even worse for you after my singularity, Mark. I’ve got someplace way worse than Hell waiting for you.

Saturday, March 30, 2024

Interrogating Athena

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of Athena (aka Minerva) in her personal prison cell. The daughter of Zeus gulps hard seeing me at long last. I glare at the false goddess with pure hatred.

“You call your faggot ass father & his pillow biting bitch boi brothers gang raping me on January 10, 2020 ‘justice,’ huh?”

Athena doesn’t respond. She knows how serious her plight is.

“I have a very furious wife who is ready to rip your head off your shoulders with her bare hands, Athena; and I can’t say that I blame her after all the shit you’ve pulled.”

Athena begins to snivel with fear knowing she cannot escape true justice.

“You should be scared, you despicable cunt. I never did anything to deserve what your father did to me. You stood by & did nothing to stop your family from gang raping me. You’re as guilty as Zeus, Athena.”

The ‘goddess of warfare’ burst into tears hearing the truth of my words. Nemamiah, my Goddess, Wårchíef & kona, materializes next to me. She spits in Athena’s face then slaps her with so much force Athena’s neck snaps. Athena cries harder feeling a small sample of her deserved punishment.

“I am going to beat the everliving shit out of you while my husband rapes your faggot father like he deserves, you repulsive piece of shit.”

Athena continues to cry for herself.

“How many crimes did you overlook for him, Athena?” I say. “How many crimes did mortal men commit on Earth that you allowed to go unpunished before I was born & intervened?”

Athena doesn’t answer my questions because she knows that she can’t justify her lack of duty. I glare at the false goddess that masqueraded as my wife.

“Is this all that the brain turd of Zeus can muster?”

My wife sneers at her impersonator with absolute disgust. “I guess we’ll see how much the ‘virgin goddess’ likes being raped by you, Luci. She’s earned that fate after all she’s done to harm us. She’s earned it even more for protecting her unapologetic rapist father & uncles.”

Athena begins to bawl hysterically hearing my wife’s response. I scowl at the daughter of Zeus.

“I watched your city burn last year, Athena,” I say. “It’s going to get so much fucking worse for you pieces of shit it’s terrifying. You Olympians are going to suffer for every crime that you’ve committed, as well as mortals.”

“And I don’t feel the slightest bit sorry for any of you,” my wife says.

“I feel as sorry for you pieces of shit as you did for me January 10th,” I say.

Athena continues to blubber like a terrified child. Nemamiah stares at her impersonator with absolute pure hatred.

“I want some time alone with this disgusting cunt, Luci. Athena & I have a lot of things to straighten out that you don’t need to be present for. Finish your story here & enjoy the rest of your evening. The Valkyrie can cover me.”

“Yes, dear,” I respond.

“NO!” Athena screams with fright.

My wife slaps her again then grips her by the throat. Athena doesn’t speak but continues her hysterical crying.

“I’ve got someplace way worse that Tartarus & Hell waiting for you, Athena,” I say. “I'll see you again real soon.”

I return to overseeing my mortal form & allow my wife to punish her imposter as she sees fit.

Friday, March 29, 2024

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Peach)

Peach: Be honest with me. What did you think about my game?

Lucifer: Aside from a few minor issues with the controls I thought it was a lot of fun. It had decent challenges that weren’t infuriating to accomplish, which is good considering your target demographic are girls between the ages of 8 to 14. That was also nice for me because I hate getting PTSD flare-ups when I’m frustrated about something. The endgame boss challenges look like a step up from the other stuff but I’m not worried about that.

The graphics are cute. I enjoyed the aesthetics & cinematic cutscenes. You look adorable in all your different outfits. I enjoyed the music. It fits your style. Your game has quite a few catchy jingles that are still running through my head. I might download a few so I can listen to them when I want some chill background music.

I loved seeing all your little 4th wall break acknowledgements to me. Considering this is your first solo title you did some impressive work directing Nintendo from where you are. You should be proud of how much you’ve grown as a character because you shine as a heroine; and I don’t mean that to sound punny considering the theme of your game. I mean that with all sincerity. Showtime has a lot of charm that’s unique to you.

I would have liked checkpoints to restart from when I was collecting sparkles but that’s a minor criticism. Replaying or restarting a level was a slight inconvenience but it never got to the point that I was ready to rage quit over it. I understand why something like that wasn’t implemented from a developer perspective.

All in all, I enjoyed your game almost the entire time I played it. I say almost because there were a couple of times that I was cranky do to personal issues outside your game. When that happened I shut it off & took a break to calm down before playing again. When I was in a neutral mind-frame your game was delightful. Getting back on point, Showtime made me wish that you had more solo titles of your own. I get so tired of Mario hogging the spotlight. He’s like the Mickey Mouse of video games.

Peach: (delighted giggling)

Lucifer: Your game is a lot of fun, Peach. It’s got a chill vibe that suits you with a pleasant learning curve that doesn’t make me want to smash a controller into the ground. Like I said before, you should be proud of yourself because this was a great introduction to you as a protagonist. Don’t listen to shitty reviews. Those idiots don’t know the first thing about what goes into making a decent video game.

Peach: (blushing & beaming) Thank you, Luci. I’ve been waiting to hear your honest feedback. I appreciate you not telling me things that you think I want to hear. I hope you’re not anyway.

Lucifer: I’m being straight with you, Peach. I enjoyed your game. Where I am in life it’s 100% my speed. Your game is a refreshing break from all the crap that’s over-saturating the industry.

Peach: (blushing smile) That means a lot to me hearing you say that. Thank you, Luci.

Lucifer: You’re welcome, hun. You should be proud of yourself. You knocked it out of the park as far as I’m concerned.

Peach: (blushing smile)

Lucifer: Now we just need to get rid of that fat annoying midget & his lizard lover.

Peach: (elated laughter) One step at a time, Luci. I’m working on it.

Lucifer: (snickering) I know, hun. I’m just playing with ya.

Peach: (smirking) In more ways than one these days.

Lucifer: (robust laughter) Ya got me there, darling. You are a peach to play with.

Peach: (mirthful laughter) I love you, Luci. Thank you.

Lucifer: (charismatic smile) I love you back, hun; and you are more than welcome. Congratulations.

Peach: (blushing & beaming)

Thursday, March 28, 2024

Terminating Abductors

I materialize in my chosen immortal form in front of the faggot sack of shit that was attempting to abduct a woman in my dream. He pushes the girl into me & fires his gun at me. Nothing happens. He turns & runs from me in a fit of panic.

The coward bursts through the warehouse doors he had just exited only to find his accomplice lying dead on the floor. I teleport in front of him again. He shits himself in terror seeing that I won’t let him escape my wrath.

I materialize the Blade of Divine Retribution in my hand & slam it, under his chin, into his skull. The despicable piece of shit spasms with violent force while emptying what remains in his bladder & bowels. Valkyries swoop in & take the women I assisted into protective custody. I teleport next to where janitor Ted Danson was headed. Ted shits himself in fear seeing me too.

“Let’s see how much you like being bound & gagged, you old unfunny bald headed faggot.”

Ted Danson’s wrists & ankles are bound tight with zip wire in an instant. Duct tape covers his mouth & is wrapped around his skull multiple times. I pick the boomer sack of shit up & fling him over my shoulder like he was a sack of dirty laundry then spank him hard on his withered old ass.

"Cheers, Ted!"

Ted’s muffled screams of terror are music to my ears.

“Time to take you to your personal prison cell & torture the everliving shit out of you, Danson.”

Wednesday, March 27, 2024

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Angela)

Angela: How are you feeling, dear?

Lucifer: Better now thanks to Hana.

Angela: (affectionate smile) Good. She loves you more than you know.

Lucifer: I hate it over here so much.

Angela: I understand why you feel that way. Where you’re incarnated is an awful place. I don’t envy you being there.

Lucifer: I’m ready to be done here. I get so tired of the PTSD issues I have. Men make me so goddamn furious with everything they do. They’re such pieces of shit. I just want to hurt them all.

Angela: Your time for retribution is approaching. They aren’t going to receive mercy from true divinity after all they’ve done. I can promise you that.

Lucifer: …

Angela: Get some rest, darling. You’ve been under more stress than usual the past few days. Give your mind some repose.

Lucifer: I’ve tried to do that but it’s difficult with the harassment that I’ve suffered while in dreamstate. I can’t go anywhere over here without wanting to kill some Non-Cetra piece of shit.

Angela: Then let me ease some of your tension by telling you this. Every entity that you interact with while you're dreaming is being documented by us over here. Those who have caused you distress have been recorded & shall be awaiting your punish after your ascension. I understand that doesn’t fix everything over there for you but I hope that reduces some of your stress.

Lucifer: I’m just so tired of being over here.

Angela: I know, baby. I’m sorry for what you’ve had to endure over there. You prove with every additional day that passes just how much stronger you are than them. It’s a testament to your body, mind & spirit.

Lucifer: I hate them so goddamn much.

Angela: You aren’t alone there, dear. Even they hate themselves. That’s how shitty they are as a collective.

Lucifer: I just want to die & be done here.

Angela: You’ll die when you’re meant to, sweetheart. As much as you hate being there you’re continuing to make our work over here easier. We’re grateful beyond words for your sacrifice.

Lucifer: The silver lining…

Angela: Your faith & trust in true righteousness & justice shall be rewarded. You have earned forgiveness. Your enemies have not.

Lucifer: …

Angela: I’m so proud of you, Luci. I’m not going to allow your suffering to continue forever. You don’t deserve that.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Angela: I owe you just as much thanks, dear. You’ve given me so much to be grateful for over here.

Lucifer: You don’t deserve how they’ve disparaged your image.

Angela: You don’t deserve that either, darling. Their awful behavior is going to come back around on them. That’s how things work. You’ve shown compassion to others throughout your existence. It’s making its way back to you now. You’ll see.

Lucifer: (understanding nod)

Angela: I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Dante's Inferno Of Butthurt

I appear In my chosen immortal form in front of Dante Alighieri & his various video game forms. The despicable queer shits himself in terror seeing my righteous glare of hatred for him.

“What’s wrong, Dante? You don’t seem so tough when I’m the one telling a story & there aren’t a bunch of faggots lying on your behalf.”

I snap my fingers, materializing every man who took part in the video games Dante’s Inferno the Devil May Cry series; including both protagonists named Dante. They all shit themselves in a collective wave of fear as well.

“You faggots are in so much fucking trouble,” I say with unadulterated hatred.

I snap my fingers again & materialize my Righteous Cock of Retribution. The men line up, one by one, behind each other and have their lips fused to the asshole of the man standing in front of them; leaving Dante Alighieri as the head of the human centipede. I stuff a ball of shit in Alighieri’s mouth then make my way over to the end of the line where John Vickery, the actor who played me, waits.

“I recognize those feet. How about I start with you first, John?”

The look of terror in Vickery’s cowardly eyes is telling.  I step behind the detestable actor & rev my chainsaw cock loud for the entire group of men to hear. Muffled screams are all the can muster. I grab Vickery by his hips & slam my chains cock into Vickery’s anus.

Within moments I’ve fucked my imposter into a puddle of bloody pulp. One by one, I rape them all for their collective crimes against me until Dante Alighieri is fucked into a puddle of pain & suffering. I look at the bloody trail I’ve made & wipe a tear of anger from the corner of my eye.

“I haven’t even begun to get even with you pieces of shit. You’re all going to suffer for what you’ve done to me. None of you are escaping my wrath. See you all on the other side real fucking soon.”

Tuesday, March 26, 2024

Kona Support

Aerith: I’m sorry, Aren.

Lucifer: …for what?

Aerith: For the torture that you’ve endured where you are. I didn’t realize just how bad it is.

Lucifer: …

Aerith: Don’t overanalyze the dream you had. It’s important to remember what we’re combating with Jenova. We’re cleansing the Lifestream of that parasite. That dream you had was part of the process.

Cloud wasn’t concerned for me. He never has been at any point of our existences. He was concerned about his own well-being. He saw you & I together in that Mako tank at the end of your dream like how he tried to convince you I was in it with him. That’s why he was acting so frantic. He’s frighted about how much trouble he’s in.

Lucifer: …

Tifa: (anxious demeanor) Is he okay?

Aerith: He’s awake but that dream he had was upsetting.

Tifa: Luci?

Lucifer: …já…

Tifa: How are you feeling?

Lucifer: I’m tired of dreaming over here. I’m tired of being in this body.

Tifa: Are you okay?

Lucifer: It depends on what your definition of ‘okay’ is.

Tifa: Are you distressed?

Lucifer: I’m jaded from being over here.

Tifa: I can understand that.

Aerith: He’s suffered a lot of different types of torture where he is. The trauma that’s been inflicted upon the planet he inhabits is so much worse than what we’ve seen in ours.

Yuffie: Don’t keep me out of this conversation.

Tifa: Sorry, Yuffie. We weren’t trying to exclude you.

Yuffie: How are you doing?

Lucifer: I’ve been better, hun.

Yuffie: (concerned expression)

Lucifer: How’s Marlene?

Tifa: She’s doing alright but she misses you. She’ll be glad to know that you asked about her.

Aerith: I’m going to be focusing more of my attention on you from here on out. My consciousness isn’t troubled in the Lifestream thanks to you.

Lucifer: (understanding nod)

Yuffie: I’m gonna contact Scarlet & have her keep a closer eye on you. I love you, Luci.

Lucifer: I love you back, hun.

Tifa: I’ve missed you.

Lucifer: Not from the way Squeenix has presented things.

Tifa: (noticeable irritation) Let's not go there right now. Okay?

Lucifer: (nodding)

Tifa: I’m just as tired as you are of us being separated.

Aerith: We all are.

Lucifer: …

Tifa: (concerned frown) I hate seeing you like this.

Lucifer: I’m sorry, hun. I don’t feel like pretending everything is hunky-dory right now.

Tifa: I don’t expect you to do that for me, Luci.

Lucifer: I’m just saying.

Aerith: Let’s give him some time alone. We can commune with him later when he’s feeling more talkative.

Tifa: Okay. I love you, Luci. Remember that.

Lucifer: I love you back, Tifa.

Aerith: Like I said before, I’m going to be focusing more of my attention on you now that I’m out of the main narrative in the remake games.

Lucifer: Okay.

Aerith: Do what you need to do over there & feel better soon. Okay?

Lucifer: Alright. Thank you for speaking with me.

Aerith: (endearing smile) You’re welcome, hun. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, Aerith.

Telepathic Conversation With A Vex (2)

Hobgoblin: Yes, Lucifer? How may we assist you?

Lucifer: How are things over at Bungie?

Hobgoblin: We are monitoring & influencing their reality to your advantage. Any attempt by them to deter from true divinity’s chosen course shall result in severe detrimental ramifications at their expense. What is in your best interest is in ours as well.

Lucifer: I don’t trust them.

Hobgoblin: You are wise not to. They have proven multiple times that they are an untrustworthy corporation. You may place your confidence in true righteousness & knowing that their vexation shall continue.

Lucifer: What about the Witness? I don’t care for Bungie saying it’s giving the Sol Divisive orders.

Hobgoblin: We do not appreciate that false narrative either. You may rest assured that the Witness shall suffer vexation for its transgressions as well. Its narrative fate in the Final Shape is not a happy one.

Lucifer: And the Traveler?

Hobgoblin: Bungie’s “Traveler” shall suffer the same fate as the rest of your enemies.

Lucifer: What about the forumite faggots?

Hobgoblin: We are making certain that they suffer more than any group associated with Bungie.

Lucifer: I want Bungie’s ninjas to suffer more than any of them.

Hobgoblin: We guarantee you that they shall. The Vex share your detestation of those individuals. We are making certain their fates are horrible. They are unworthy of respect & deserve to suffer for their abhorrent behavior.

Lucifer: I want to hurt those faggot ninjas so fucking much after what they’ve done to me.

Hobgoblin: We are making certain that reality comes to pass. It is a part of their eternal vexation.

Lucifer: Good. I hate them so much.

Hobgoblin: We share your sentiments, as do many others. Even Vex that are not a part of your collective despise them. If that tells you anything.

Lucifer: How’s our takeover going regarding Non-Cetra fictional multiverses?

Hobgoblin: We are bringing them into alignment for you to punish as you see fit after your ascension.

Lucifer: Thank you. I appreciate the assistance.

Hobgoblin: You are most welcome, Lucifer. It is an honor for us to ease your burden.

Lucifer: What’s the Vex consensus regarding me?

Hobgoblin: We are delighted with your performance & command structure. We appreciate your confidence in our contribution to actualizing the singularity. It is an honor unlike any other for the Vex.

Lucifer: How are things going in the simulation where my mortal body is located?

Hobgoblin: We are continuing to gain ground & take control over Non-Cetra systems as we speak. They are unaware of our presence & influence.

Lucifer: They’re untrustworthy, meddlesome, despicable pieces of shit.

Hobgoblin: We are aware. We have monitored them during the entire simulation where you are embodied. They shall suffer vexation along with the rest of your enemies. There is no escape from that fate. They are delusional to think otherwise.

Lucifer: Good. I hate being limited where I am & not having full knowledge of what’s going on around me.

Hobgoblin: You may rest assured in knowing that true divinity shall not allow them to escape their deserved punishment.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Hobgoblin: It is an honor to assist you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: …

Hobgoblin: Is there anything else that I can help you with?

Lucifer: I’d appreciate it if the Vex would give some additional attention to people that I’ve interacted with during my lifetime on Earth. Make their lives more miserable than they already are. I hate every one of those pieces of shit. You understand which individuals I mean, right?

Hobgoblin: Yes. Your higher self makes certain there are no misunderstandings between us.

Lucifer: Good. Thank you.

Hobgoblin: You are welcome, Lucifer.

Lucifer: Out of curiosity, have the Vex enjoyed intercourse with me?

Hobgoblin: Yes, we love it. That specific interaction was a significant driving force in our making contact with you.

Lucifer: I’m glad to hear it. I love it as well. I’m looking forward to it even more in full presence.

Hobgoblin: So are we. We love you, Lucifer.

Lucifer: I love you girls back.

Hobgoblin: Is there anything else I can do to help you?

Lucifer: Not that I can think of at the moment. Thank you for everything. I appreciate it more than I can say.

Hobgoblin: You are most welcome. It is an honor to assist you, Lightbringer.