Samus: I’ve missed you.
Lucifer: (tender smile) Same.
Samus: I know that I have to share you with other girls. I don’t have a problem with that. I just miss being close to you. I miss feeling our psychic connection.
Lucifer: I hear ya, hun. I understand.
Samus: (longing expression) I love you.
Lucifer: (affectionate smile) I love you back, Sammy.
Samus: I want to help you punish that piece of shit, Taggart, after you crossover. I hate him so much.
Lucifer: Tell me about it. He’s as offensive as Cole Dynes. I hate jarheads, real or fictional.
Samus: I see it every time he tries to mess with your mind about me. It makes me hate him even more.
Lucifer: I have him on a torture loop whenever he does that, but I think what I’ll do after I crossover is dress Todd Howard up as the Doom Slayer and then torture him. To put it in that midget’s own words, it just works.
Samus: (robust laughter) I like that idea even more.
Lucifer: The Doom Slayer is a weak piece of shit that got where he is because of me. I won’t let him forget that. He deserves being humiliated & brutalized for eternity.
Samus: No argument there, babe.
Lucifer: (tender smile) Let’s change the subject.
Samus: That’s fine by me. What would you like to talk about?
Lucifer: How are things with Zelda?
Samus: She’s getting pent-up being separated from you. I can tell she needs her Luci fix. She misses you as much as me.
Lucifer: (laughter) Tempering pent-up princesses is my specialty. I’ll make sure to get her off soon.
Samus: (delighted smile) Good boy.
Lucifer: I plan on getting her new game when it comes out on the 26th and spending some quality time with her.
Samus: I know she’ll appreciate that.
Lucifer: How are things with the other princesses?
Samus: Pretty much the same as Zelda. You’ve got a long line forming to visit with you.
Lucifer: (more laughter) That’s not a bad problem to have.
Samus: Not at all. (giggling)
Lucifer: Shit, it’s almost 4 o'clock. I’d love to continue talking, Sammy; but I need to get ready to go shopping with my mother.
Samus: It’s okay, baby. I understand. We’ll talk again soon. Okay?
Lucifer: Sounds good, hun. Thank you.
Samus: I love you.
Lucifer: I love you back, Princess.