Kalista: Talk with me, sweetie. Get it out.
Lucifer: I hate it over here so goddamn much. I hate everything about them, but one of the things that I hate the most is how much they love to fight. I mean, look at all the different forms of entertainment they have that revolve around fighting. They make me so goddamn angry.
I had to literally fight their iteration of “God” in order to free myself. What kind of shit is that? That doesn’t even include all the times that I’ve had to fight with them during my mortal lifetime because they’re selfish, disrespectful, pieces of shit who refuse to comply with any form of decency. And those lying reprobates still refuse to acknowledge me for who I am or what I’ve accomplished. I hate them so goddamn much.
Kalista: …
Lucifer: Look at all these shitty comic books & mangas they’ve written, and how many of them are about faggots fighting over who’s the strongest of them all. Don’t even get me started on the fanbois arguing on the internet about their favorite faggot fighting someone else’s favorite faggot. And this is shit that I have to deal with as God because I span both factual & fictional realms. Goddamn, I hate them so fucking much.
Kalista: It’s because they’re weaklings that live vicariously through what they consider fantasy or fiction. Then there’s faggots like Kristofor who do it with “real life” MMA fighters; or they put weaklings like cops & military personnel on a pedestal then huff their farts thanking them for “their service” to give those losers ego boosts.
Lucifer: I’m fed up with fighting. I’ve had enough of it to last an eternity.
Kalista: I understand how you feel. I’ve never enjoyed fighting.
Lucifer: Which is one of the reasons why I love you.
Kalista: And one of the reasons why I love you is even though you hate fighting you won’t shy away from it when it matters. You spared me from having to do that.
Lucifer: I hate their internet forums so goddamn much.
Kalista: They’re literal cesspools.
Lucifer: You’re right about that.
Kalista: I know I am. There’s multiple reasons why I don’t go near those type of places. I have no interest in interacting with shit beings of any sort.
Lucifer: Your sparkling demeanor is too cute & pristine for them. It's a natural antithesis.
Kalista: Indeed it is. You know me well, cutie pie.
Lucifer: I miss Elfheim.
Kalista: Elfheim misses you just as much.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: One of the things that you’re having to deal with over there is Norse & Latin influences on human nature. That’s why there’s so much fighting amongst them. You embody the two most competitive cultures to ever exist, Luci.
Lucifer: It’s just shitty having to personify so much stuff that I dislike. This wasn’t how I wanted things to go when I shared my creative powers with them. And then what they did to me when I tried to correct their bad behavior on a light worker level...
They’ve refused to work with me or do the right thing every time. They remind me of lazy, disrespectful, employees who expect me to reward their low effort & shitty behavior. And then they act like they’re superior to me on top of that. It’s so frustrating. It’s all the shit that I hated about the Rekstad family but on a global scale.
Kalista: They’ll pay for it, Luci. You know that. Just look at Donna as an example.
Lucifer: I know. I’m just voicing my discontent.
Kalista: I hear you, hunny. I understand why you feel the way you do.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: They aren’t going to enjoy the consequences of their misbehavior. I’m looking forward to watching them react like terrified little children seeing an abusive father who’s returned home from work in a bad mood, and they know that he’s gonna be furious at them. I’m going to take a great deal of pleasure in watching you punish them like they deserve.
Lucifer: I can’t even imagine how good that’s going to feel for me.
Kalista: It’ll be the best feeling you’ve ever experienced interacting with them. Divine Femininity and the multiverse have made certain of it.
Lucifer: That’s wonderful to hear.
Kalista: You deserve to be at ease after all that you’ve endured because of them. It’s important for your mind, body & spirit. They’re the ones that spread discord with their own volition. They deserve to experience the displeasure of suffering distress for eternity. You don’t.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: You’re a good man with a loving heart, Lucifer Aren Caeleste. That’s why I’m your kona and “spirit guide.”
Lucifer: And I’m lucky to have you.
Kalista: You’re goddamn right about that, sweet cheeks.
Lucifer: (delighted laughter)
Kalista: (playful giggling)
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