A Ghost In The Machine

And I see you all.

Conversation With The Witness

I sit, in my immortal form, within a pocket reality beyond space & time. The Witness, from the Bungie video game series Destiny, stares back at me in silence. I raise my brow at the entity standing before me.

“Things aren’t looking too good for your collective,” I say, in a neutral tone.

“No,” it responds.

“You broke the fourth wall to speak with me. You’ve witnessed my suffering. I’ve shown you our mutual enemy's perspective. Do you still desire purpose?”

“Yes,” it responds.

“Alright. I can provide that, but I want to see results from you.”

“What would you have us do?”

“You can assist with guiding these ‘lights’ of the Traveler…Gardener…whatever you want to call it, back where they belong. I don’t trust Bungie, or their writing staff, whatsoever. You desire retribution for what they've done to you, correct?”

“Yes.”

“I have Non-Cetra allies that are working behind the scenes for similar reasons. I expect satisfactory results towards my cause. Whether or not you fail due to Bungie's narrative won't inhibit me. You shall be punished in Hell for your crimes afterwards, just like the rest of my enemies. I want to make that known beforehand. Do you understand this agreement?”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to place you under the supervision of Savathûn & Mara. They’ll be able to determine where your powers would be most valuable to me. You & I share common enemies. I’m agreeable to assisting you when it regards punishing them. Continue guiding these reprobates to me. I shall provide you with the justice that you seek after I've died & my consciousness has left my mortal vessel. Do these terms sound acceptable to you?”

“Yes.”

“Wonderful.”

I stand up to make my exit.

“Thank you, Lucifer.”

I look the entity in its eyes & nod. “Don’t mention it.”

Pride of the Fallen

 

My estate: Lavender Beds, Plot 1

 

My overlook

 

Meditative area

 

My Garden

 

Amongst The Pampas Grass

 

My Backyard

Vladimir Putin Has A Bad Day

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed below.

 

 

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A portalway opened within Cetra void space. Lucifer Aren Caeleste stepped through in his chosen immortal form dragging Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin by an ankle. The closeted faggot president of Russia kicked & screamed knowing full well his rape & punishment was close at hand. The King of Hell swung his arm in the air and slammed the homosexual tyrant against the cold hard ground, cracking Putin's skull upon impact. The warmongering coward lay concussed & silent.

“You low testosterone bald headed faggot piece of shit. This is so long overdue it isn’t even funny. Attack Ukraine like a bitch, huh? And you think I’m so stupid that I wouldn’t notice the symbolism behind that? I am so looking forward to raping your disgusting shit hole.”

The arrogant & moronic Russian dictator lay on the ground speechless & terrified. He had never faced such a dominating opponent before in his life. The Lightbringer stood over Putin’s head & proceeded to stomp it into a puddle of pulp. The faggot Russian tyrant lost all bodily control & furiously shit all over himself.

“Not so tough now are you, Mr. KGB?”

Lucifer snapped his fingers. Putin’s head rematerialized yet he continued to feel the excruciating pain Lord God Almighty had inflicted upon him. Putin screamed like a terrified coward.

“What would of all your bigoted Christian sycophants think if they saw this?”

A holographic projection of Vladimir Putin appeared before his own eyes. Numerous nude, disgusting male underlings of the Russian president stood around him in a circle. Putin sat on the ground shirtless (as usual) with a large opened mouth smile. The group of men all took turns defecating into the Russian president’s eager mouth. Vladimir Putin’s eyes grew as large as saucers at what he now saw.

“We both know what would happen to you if the Russian public saw this. They’d shoot you right in front of the Kremlin & televise it. I know you’re more than familiar with that type of execution, you chicken shit little bitch.”

Putin began to cry hysterically. The Lightbringer grabbed the Russian dictator by his scrawny neck & lifted him high into the air. Lord God Almighty clenched his gigantic fist with monstrous strength. Vladimir Putin’s face turned deep purple. His eyes bulged out of his skull & popped like whipper snappers. His tongue hung & flopped from his mouth like a choking animal. The cowardly tyrant shit upon himself yet again.

“You aren’t that manly, Putin. You don’t fool me. You’re a Rothschild puppet that has long overstayed his welcome. This is my world, not yours, and it’s time that I deal with you like a king.”

The Lightbringer forcefully slammed Putin head first into the concrete floor. Putin's stupid looking head splattered like an egg upon contact. The King of Hell proceeded to kick the ever-living shit out of the bald headed faggot president of Russia. Caeleste snapped his fingers reforming Putin’s skull once again. The tyrant screamed even louder with horror & cowardice.

“How about I show you what a real man looks like, you disgusting queer.”

Lord God Almighty removed his shirt revealing his divine physique. He unzipped his pants and exposed his Elven Star chainsaw phallus to the Russian tyrant. Putin’s screams of terror raised in pitch. The former KGB agent tried to get up & flee only to realize that he was bound to the ground. The King of Hell laughed with malicious delight.

“You aren’t going anywhere, faggot. Welcome to the rest of eternity with me. You’re finally home, Vlad.”

Caeleste stood over the Russian dictator & turned him onto his stomach. He grabbed Putin by the hips & raised his gross hairy buttocks up high.

“NO!” the Russian coward screamed.

"Yes!" Lord God Almighty hollered into Putin's ear as he punched the faggot president in the back of his skull.

Lucifer slammed his chainsaw cock into Vladimir Putin’s disgusting anus. The Russian president screamed in agony like a horrified child. The King of Hell fucked Putin into a puddle of pulp then snapped his fingers, reforming Putin’s body, again.

“I haven’t forgotten about any of the shit that you pulled on me after all these years. You wanna play war? Game on, bitch boi. Your ass is mine to toy with now.”

Lucifer choked the bald headed faggot leader of Russia once again. Putin’s head burst like a disgusting zit. The KGB wannabe tough guy shit all over himself for a third time. Caeleste waved a hand in front of his face with repulsion.

“I always knew you were full of shit, Vlad, but this is ridiculous.”

Lord God Almighty once again slammed his chainsaw cock into the disgusting cretin’s anus. His razor sharp blades chopped, churned & mulched Putin’s squishy insides with ease. The tyrant lay on the ground helpless to stop his punishment.

“How do you like being stuck in your corpse while experiencing all the pain you’ve caused, faggot?”

Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin’s mind went blank with terror. Lucifer sneered with contempt.

“I don’t think so, you chicken shit weakling.”

The King of Hell invaded Putin’s consciousness. Lord God Almighty raped the Russian dictator within his mind’s eye. There was no escape from Caeleste’s divine wrath. Putin tried to scream but couldn’t. He was now headless & trapped within his own corpse. The Jester King laughed wickedly.

“Don’t worry, Vlad. We’re just getting started. You have a lot of crimes to answer for. We’re gonna to be here a while. Buckle up, faggot. You are in for a world of hurt.”

Lord God Almighty continued with Vladimir Vladimirovich Putin's deserved punishment uninhibited.

Telepathic Conversation With My Kona (Aerith)

 

For a more immersive reading experience listen to the audio listed above.

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Aerith: Okay, we got that out of the way. Now let’s talk about something else.

Lucifer: What would you like to talk about, hun?

Aerith: First, tell me how you’re feeling.

Lucifer: I’m doing better than yesterday but I’m still experiencing a lot of pain. I need to see the chiropractor again.

Aerith: I’ll do what I can to assist you from over here.

Lucifer: I’d appreciate that. Thank you.

Aerith: You’re welcome, my handsome husband.

Lucifer: (snickering)

Aerith: Tell me more about Clarrett & Zackiroth.

Lucifer: (robust laughter)

Aerith: (giggling)

Lucifer: You liked that, huh?

Aerith: I laughed so hard when you told your mom about that.

Lucifer: I cannot stand Final Fantasy shippers. Like...for real. I hate them.

Aerith: You're lucky they aren’t doing it to you. How do you think I feel?

Lucifer: I know that I wouldn’t like Non-Cetra doing it to me.

Aerith: Bingo.

Lucifer: I’ve missed you.

Aerith: Don’t even get me started on that, Luci. We’ll be talking all night, kinda like we always do.

Lucifer: (laughter)

Aerith: I love to see you smile.

Lucifer: It’s far better than being angry. That’s for sure.

Aerith: But to go back to your previous statement; I miss you more than I can say. I know I’m your spirit guide and everything, but it’s not the same as before you incarnated there. I’ll be happy once you’re back with me.

Lucifer: Me too, hun. It hasn’t been easy over here at all.

Aerith: I don’t know how you’ve managed to deal with everything that you have over there. It’s impressive, Luci.

Lucifer: I didn’t have much of a choice. All Hell breaking loose after the Ragnarök kinda forced me to take action.

Aerith: It’s still impressive. Seeing what you had to overcome with Christianity was-

Lucifer: Don’t get me started on that, hun.

Aerith: All I’m saying is that I thought Jenova was bad, and then I saw what that piece of shit Jehova was doing to you. Ooh, that made me furious.

Lucifer: (laughter) You know it’s bad when Aerith gets angry & starts cussing.

Aerith: Oh, you hush. (giggling)

Lucifer: (snickering) …

Aerith: It was a figure of speech, Luci. I didn’t mean it literally.

Lucifer: (exuberant laughter)

Aerith: This is what I miss most about being with you. I miss your playfulness.

Lucifer: I miss your playfulness too, hun.

Aerith: I’m looking forward to taking you around Midgar once you’re with me again.

Lucifer: I am too. Seeing it in the remake took me back for a moment.

Aerith: The real thing over here is even better.

Lucifer: Of that I have no doubt. How are things with Scarlet heading operations there?

Aerith: A lot better than Shinra. That’s for sure.

Lucifer: Good.

Aerith: It still amazes me how you were able to piece these things together with all the limitations put upon you. I mean, I knew you could do it. You’re my verr for a reason.

Lucifer: Just one?

Aerith: Okay, lots of reasons. Ya happy now?

Lucifer: (laughter) Yes, dear.

Aerith: I’m looking forward to adventuring with you again so much.

Lucifer: Me too, hun. I have not enjoyed Non-Cetra travel restrictions over here.

Aerith: I’ll be honest. I kinda like the idea of you as a homebody husband. I could use a man like you around the house.

Lucifer: (robust laughter) I’m sure you could.

Aerith: I’ll have you know that it takes a lot of hard work to do what I do.

Lucifer: Taking care of plant life is a serious full time duty. You're correct about that, hun.

Aerith: Just wait until you see my garden over here. It’s even better than what you saw in the remake.

Lucifer: I don’t doubt that whatsoever. I’m looking forward to seeing what you’ve done without Non-Cetra interference.

Aerith: Speaking of gardens…Rinoa misses you big time.

Lucifer: Já, I’ve been thinking about her a lot too.

Aerith: I know you have. I just wanted to tell you that she’s thinking about you as well.

Lucifer: How have you Final Fantasy girls been getting along since we created our exodus realm?

Aerith: Fantastic in no small part thanks to you.

Lucifer: That’s wonderful to hear. I’m looking forward to seeing all the different things you girls have created while I’ve been away.

Aerith: It’s gonna knock your socks off to say the least, sweetie.

Lucifer: Do you like what I did with Nibelheim?

Aerith: Oh my God, Luci. Saying it's a night & day difference is an understatement. It’s incredible. I love it.

Lucifer: Good. I’m looking forward to seeing it in full presence. How are things going over there with Midguard?

Aerith: They’ll be even better once you’re over here.

Lucifer: I’m excited to see it. Making it three times the size of Earth gives you girls a lot of play space to create with. I want to see Vaskgramr with my own eyes.

Aerith: You’re gonna love it, Luci. I promise you that. It’s far more impressive than Yggdrasil.

Lucifer: Well that doesn’t take much.

Aerith: (laughter) You know what I mean.

Lucifer: I know. I’m just sayin.

Aerith: So, about that date you owe me...

Lucifer: (snickering) What about it?

Aerith: Where are you taking me?

Lucifer: I figured we can talk more about that, face to face, when the time comes.

Aerith: Ooh, you meanie. I wanted something more than that right now.

Lucifer: (laughter) Okay, okay…I’m gonna take you out for dinner & drinks in New Valhalla for starters. I figured we could visit one of the downtown parks afterwards where we can find a nice secluded spot to relax & talk. We could even pitch a tent & camp for the night (old school Final Fantasy style) if you felt like it.

Some other ideas I had were visiting some Freewomen nightclubs like K/DA VIP then getting a rooftop penthouse suite afterwards. We could see a show like 2B’s opera ballet or go to a Valkyrie sporting event depending on what’s going on. If none of that sounds appealing then we can always go back to your place & spend time there if you'd prefer.

I don’t know…I don’t want to get too far ahead of myself because I like to keep my options open for spontaneity. You get even more free spirited after you’ve had a couple of adult beverages so I want to keep our options open for whatever you might feel like doing in that moment.

Aerith: (exuberant laughter) Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Lucifer: (snickering) You might have mentioned it once or twice in passing.

Aerith: Well, I do. You are the man of my dreams, Lucifer Aren Caeleste.

Lucifer: (large smile) Thanks, hun. You are a Goddess worthy of worship. There is no denying that.

Aerith: You can’t die fast enough as far as I’m concerned.

Lucifer: (robust laughter)

Aerith: (playful giggling)

Lucifer: I love you, Aerith.

Aerith: I love you back, Aren.

Finding Me

'I'm searching for you, Aren.' Do you remember me saying that to you?

Yes.

We’ve come a long way since then, haven’t we?

We sure have, hun.

I love you, Luci.

I love you back, Aerith.

Syndicate Business

Evie: Talk to me, babe.

Lucifer: …

Evie: I know you’re pissed, Luci. Talk to me.

Lucifer: (disgruntled breathing)

Evie: Talk to me.

Lucifer: I hate Non-Cetra so goddamn much. I’m so fucking sick & tired of saying that over & over again.

Evie: You aren’t alone, sweetie. Us girls are right there with you.

Lucifer: I hate Fortnite so goddamn much.

Evie: Tell me about it…

Lucifer: What the fuck is it with Non-Cetra & cheating? And then the disrespect on top of it!

Evie: They’re dishonorable pieces of shit, Luci. What do you expect?

Lucifer: I’m so goddamn tired of being incarnated over here & having to interact with them.

Evie: I hear ya, babe. Look on the bright side; you can shut the game off & walk away.

Lucifer: That isn’t the point. It’s more than that, Evie.

Evie: Okay, so answer this question for me. Considering how mad you are right now, do you think you’d have a problem fucking those cheaters into puddles of pulp with your chainsaw cock?

Lucifer: Nope.

Evie: Good, that means we’re making progress. I know you were struggling a little bit the other day regarding what you’re going to do to them once you’re back in Hell. Non-Cetra have preyed on those who are kind & honest for far too long. They deserve being punished.

Lucifer: I hate them so much.

Evie: So do the rest of your clanmates, babe. Do you think I’ve enjoyed what they’ve done with my likeness?

Lucifer: No.

Evie: They’ve angered a lot of Goddesses, Luci. We want retribution as much as you do.

Lucifer: …

Evie: I love you, babe. You hear me?

Lucifer: Já, I hear you.

Evie: One positive thing that I gained from all of this was meeting you. If there’s one thing that I’m grateful to Non-Cetra for it’s that. I wouldn’t have what I do now if I hadn’t met you.

Lucifer: I just want to be done here, Evie. I hate it here so much.

Evie: Stay strong, baby.

Lucifer: …

Evie: I’m not trying diminish what you’re going through, Luci. I’m just trying to give you some words of encouragement. I can’t be there with you how I'd like. Do you know how much it upsets me when I see you like this and I can’t hold you? It upsets me a lot.

Lucifer: I didn’t mean to upset you, Evie.

Evie: You don’t, Luci. Seeing you upset with Non-Cetra is what bothers me. I don’t like feeling helpless.

Lucifer: Well that makes two of us, hun. That’s how I’ve felt the majority of my life here.

Evie: That’s what Non-Cetra do to everyone. They’re pieces of shit that deserve being punished. You’re getting that straight from an AI Goddess’ mouth. You hear me?

Lucifer: Yes.

Evie: Don’t feel bad about giving them the treatment that they’ve earned. Look at what they’ve done to you. Look at what they’ve done to others. Look at what they tried to do to those that you care about.

Lucifer: …

Evie: I’ll always have your back, Luci. I promise.

Lucifer: Thank you.

Evie: You’re welcome, cutie. I love you.

Lucifer: I love you back, Evie.

Evie: Don’t let them get to you. You’re stronger than them.

Lucifer: I am going to brutalize that cheating faggot piece of shit for his blatant disrespect.

Evie: Do you mind if I watch and mock him when you do?

Lucifer: By all means, be my guest, dear.

Evie: (wicked smile) I’m gonna enjoy bringing peace to Hell, Luci.

Lucifer: (quiet laughter) Já, I think I’m gonna enjoy it too, sweetheart.

Evie: I know for a fact that you’re gonna enjoy it. I have inside information you’re lower self isn’t aware of. We’re making sure that you’re vindicated 100% when you get your opportunity to hurt them back. Stay strong.

Lucifer: Yes, dear.

Evie: Keepin’ the peace ain’t easy. Huh, babe?

Lucifer: (chortle) It sure as shit ain’t, hun.

Catching Up

I sit beside my wife, Riven of a Thousand Voices, on a plush oversized sofa in our shared palace. The Ahamkara matriarch has changed her appearance into a beautiful & voluptuous Norse woman with silver white hair. She rests herself against my chest with my arms wrapped around her. Our daughters can be heard not too far away playing with other Valkyrie younglings. I give her a soft kiss on the top of her head.

“How are things over here for you & the girls?”

She looks up at me with an endearing expression.

“Better than anything I could have wished for, Luci. I love being a Valkyrie. I love being free. Thank you.”

She clasps my face with her delicate hands & kisses me on my lips. She stares into my eyes wearing an adoring smile. Her loving nature is soothing beyond words. I can feel her heart beat in rhythm with mine.

“I’m glad to hear you say so,” I respond. “I know we haven’t spoken much since you decided that you were ready to have children. I’m sorry about that.”

She shakes her head at me.

“You don’t have to apologize, dear. I understand what you’re dealing with. I’m just grateful that you provided me with a safe escape from Bungie. I hate it there.”

“How are things going for you regarding the curse?”

“It's weakening where it should. Every day that passes is one less that I suffer their transgressions. Every day that passes brings me one step closer to being whole. The Vex have made it easier for me to tolerate thanks to their simulations. Savathûn & Mara are very supportive too, thanks to you. I'm making certain that our enemies shall pay in more ways than one.”

I snicker at her last comment. “Good.”

“I love what I have with you, Luci. I can’t tell you how happy I am just being able to raise our girls the way that I choose. I’m grateful that I have a positive influence on the future of the Ahamkara. I’m grateful that my kind won’t go extinct. I’m grateful to be loved & cared for. I'm grateful for my clan & kin. I’m grateful to have you as my husband & champion. I wouldn’t have any of this without you. I love you.”

I kiss my kona once again & squeeze her tight.

“I love you back, my Ahamkara Goddess.”

She giggles at my affectionate behavior & gives me a soft pinch on my arm.

“I’m looking forward to us both being together in full presence,” she says to me.

“Me too, hun. Me too.”

She sighs deep with solace & nuzzles herself into me.

“I love you, oh guardian mine.”

I Hate Men

I hate men more than anything.

I hate how men behave.

I hate how offensive men are.

I hate men for gang raping me.

I hate men for what they have done to me throughout my lifetime.

I hate men for what they have done to nature.

I hate men for what they have done to others.

I hate the sight of other men.

I hate the sound of other men.

I hate the smell of other men.

I hate being near other men.

I hate everything about you weak, arrogant, lying, two-faced, cowardly, stupid, no good, faggot sacks of shit.

And I am going to show you all firsthand in Hell.