Kalista: Do you want to talk with me about it?
Lucifer: I get so tired of her triggering my PTSD. I don’t like how it affects me. She frustrates me so much.
Kalista: Would you like me to do something about it?
Lucifer: Do whatever you think would help ease my stress. I’m so tired of her inconsiderate behavior towards me. She makes me so angry and I hate that.
Kalista: The girls & I shall take care of it.
Lucifer: I don’t like freaking out at my mother but I can’t help it when she does shit like she did today. She has no idea the trauma that I’ve suffered and she doesn’t even bother to take that into account with her own behavior.
Kalista: It’s difficult for her to understand what you’re dealing with when you’ve kept those things secret from her, Luci.
Lucifer: She’s seen enough to understand. I shouldn’t have to tell her about everything.
Kalista: My point is that not knowing about these awful things is difficult for someone like her to contemplate on her own. That’s not where her mind goes. You chose her as your mother for a reason.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: We’ll take care of it, baby. You made a lot of critical points today with her.
Lucifer: I’ve had enough of her relapsing. I’m at my wits’ end with how to deal with her. She triggers my PTSD so goddamn much and it makes me furious with her. It’s her inattentiveness that bothers me the most. It’s something that has always been a problem for me throughout my lifetime. She’s the one person who has control over that and it feels like she isn’t doing anything to correct the problem. It makes me so goddamn angry.
Kalista: Part of that ‘inattentiveness’ is her respecting your boundaries & giving you personal space. It just gets messed up with the chaos of being embodied where you are. Being around you after what happened on January 10th is like walking on eggshells for her.
Lucifer: She makes me not want to be near her.
Kalista: That’s one of the major issues that you’re both struggling with right now; your close proximity to each other. You both need more space between you for your own good. Being around you over there isn’t easy for anyone, Luci. You can be very extreme.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: She’s going to have a difficult pill to swallow in the afterlife when she sees the full extent of how her neglect hurt you during your lifetimes together on Earth. That’s her burden to bear as a parent, not yours.
Lucifer: I’ve done so much to protect her from others and it feels like she doesn’t reciprocate.
Kalista: One thing that you have to remind yourself about is how difficult deprogramming their brainwashing is. Think of how long they were influencing her without either of you knowing about it. You started recalibrating yourself in your mid thirties. She didn’t start doing that until she was already a senior. That’s a much more difficult challenge at her age. She’s trying, Luci. Remember that.
Lucifer: I know, but when she does stuff like she did today it triggers my PTSD. How many goddamn times do I have to tell her that she can’t trust men? She saw me get gang raped and almost murdered right in front of her.
Kalista: Part of her issue is that she’s a trusting individual who tries to see the good in others. That’s one of the reasons why she’s the mother of the Devil. Another reason is because she feels safe being around you with your supervision.
She hasn’t had anywhere near as many awful encounters with malicious entities as you have. You need to remember that you’re in a unique position as God. There are times when even I have difficulty trying to relate to your struggles, and I’ve been beside you as your spirit guide the entire time. It’s one of the unfortunate things that goes with your station in existence.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: She cares about you. Part of what she’s dealing with is trying to figure out who she is in the multiverse, because she was never given a genuine opportunity to do so before you sought enlightenment. She’s trying to navigate that while juggling real world responsibilities so that you don’t have to. This is uncharted territory for her.
Lucifer: I just want to die.
Kalista: That wouldn’t make her life any easier, and it wouldn’t make things any better where you are right now. You’re alive for numerous reasons; whether you’re aware of them or not.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: I’m not trying to sound apathetic, Luci. I’m just being honest. Being God is serious work.
Lucifer: I’m aware of that, Kalista.
Kalista: I’m just saying, babe.
Lucifer: …
Kalista: I’ll speak with the Völur. We’ll do some spellcasting on your mother to help her out. You can trust me.
Lucifer: (nodding)
Kalista: Go fuck some Goddesses and relax. You’ll feel better.
Lucifer: (nodding)
Kalista: I love you, Luci.
Lucifer: I love you back, hun.
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