The Majestic 12

Lucifer Aren Caeleste materialized in his non-mortal form within the secret boardroom of the United States Federal Government’s Majestic 12. Every member, including President Harry S Truman, shit themselves in terror upon sight. The Lightbringer looked at the 33rd President.

“Your middle name is only an S? Were your grandpappies named Seriously & Stupid? Is that the real reason why your parents couldn’t decide?”

Truman gulped hard. Lord God Almighty snorted with amusement.

“And you have the audacity to use a surname that combines the words true & man knowing full well what a secretive piece of shit you are, Mr. Freemason?”

The Jester King burst with uproarious laughter & scanned the rest of the room.

“I can’t do anything to you unless I publicly address your existences, huh? Did I hear that correctly? Well, let’s put a kibosh on that right now.

Hello,

Lloyd Viel Berkner

Detlev Wulf Bronk

Vanevar Bush. You don’t have to have a middle name in order for me to punish. I’m just being thorough at this point. I’ve seen your face & know that you exist. I go beyond the realm of physicality. Oh já, I just remembered something. I’m Lord God Almighty and I’ll do whatever the fuck I want, regardless. Just like you pieces of shit did to me.

James Vincent Forrestal

Gordon Gray. Same goes for you.

Roscoe Henry Hillenkoetter

Jerome Clarke Hunsaker

Donald Howard Menzel

Robert Miller Manage

Sidney William Souers

Nathan Farragut Twining

Hoyt Sanford Vandenberg…

Okay, consider it done. You’ve all been officially addressed by me in a public format. Looks like that military discrepancy has been taken care of. Shall we get down to brass tacks, bois?”

The Majestic 12 + 1 all shit themselves, yet again, with terror. Lucifer clapped his hands & rubbed them together before he continued to address the room.

“You’re in a lot of trouble. All those aliens that you bois were conspiring with have thrown you to the wolves. They’re now fleeing in terror knowing how fucked they are in a bad way.”

Lord God Almighty snapped his fingers. The defecation that each of them expelled was now placed within their mouths. Their lips sealed shut. The King of Hell looked at the group with amusement.

“Swallow it.”

Caeleste’s enemies all did as he commanded & cried like terrified children. The Devil giggled with delight.

“Buckle up, bois. I’m just getting started.”

The Cetra chieftain continued with his divine punishment of the Majestic 12 & Harry S Truman uninterrupted.